deegw, I’m not sure where you live, but what about cultural activities, such as a play or a concert? Can she walk around a museum? Are there sites to see in your area - an old house, the state capitol building, or other important architectural places? Those would involve some walking, but nothing like a hike.

I went to visit an old friend once. We ditched most of our very-loose plans in favor of just spending time talking. You may not need to plan as many activities as you think. Sometimes just talking with each other is enough.

She really can't do a museum or the like unless it is relatively small. I like the idea of planning a visit around an event like a concert or musical. I'd have to ask her about stairs and such. On our last visit together, we didn't use any.

Cook a meal together, maybe something elaborate or tricky? Homemade ravioli?

Board games? Movie night with popcorn?

Makeovers at Sephora?

Pay attention to how she currently spends her time; any ideas there?

I have a similar friend. The last time she visited, we got pedicures, went to lunch, and spent most of the rest of the time sitting around gabbing.

Bookstore plus coffee or brunch?

Maybe there’s a good movie at your local theater, or if the weather works, music at an outdoor venue? (I was just saying to a friend that I will go see any kind of performance if it’s outside!)

Take in local theater or music venues. A painting class, trip to museum or zoo. Local college tours or lectures can be fun too.

A friend and I went thrifting and antiquing. When she had to sit, we sat at a dining table in a shop and chatted for quite a while. The shops offered lots of opportunity to talk about the things we saw and the memories they brought back. Between shops, we stopped for coffee, lunch, afternoon coffee.

Dee, if your friend likes museums and zoos, call and ask about mobility chairs. all the public places like museums and botannical gardens in Milwaukee, Chicago, St Louis, Madison, new york city, Toronto, etc. have them. Most are free to borrow or not more than $10 for the day. Even the tiny International Crane Foundation has them to borrow for free.

I'm not sure what you can find locally, but I have a friend who is not very active so she struggles to do active activities I like such as hiking, etc. There are a few activities I can think of that we've really enjoyed together fairly recently.

• stained glass making class
• paint and wine night
• gin tasting / cocktail making class

My friends/siblings and I tend not to overplan our visits -- we do a lot of hanging out and talking with cocktails. These are some things we enjoy-- even with my local crew:

• the farmers market (and then assemble a board or cook up the haul)
• bookstores & coffee shops -- I can hit a few indie stores in the same day! The tend to be more interesting
• cooking classes (going to one tonight)
• visiting women owned boutiques and small businesses
• picnics.. with talking and cocktails lol
• quirky antique/second hand shops

I have mobility/stability issues and I would be mortified if Iknew a friend arranged a mobility chair for me. I would let her request it if needed. I DO use hiking sticks when in an unfamiliar area or when doing lots of walking as they help keep me stable with my vision issues/vertigo.

When my not-seen-very-often friends visit, we spend most of our time talking and sharing ideas and thoughts with a lunch or dinner thrown in. Do you have a venue with cafes, bookstores and public seating? We have an indoor/outdoor mall with a good food court and a large bookstore. We will start the day with coffee and talk, browse the bookstore for a while, have a late lunch and talk. Before we know it, it's 5 p.m. or 6 p.m.

I don't think you need to plan many activities, but certainly an evening concert, movie or play could be fun.

DH has mobility issues and he gets to decide. When people suggest things that are he’s not able to do, it makes him uncomfortable. Ask her what activities she’d like to do and the plan around that.

I was also going to suggest going to a paint and wine night (you don’t have to drink) or a cooking class. There is an Italian family that has been teaching pasta making group classes and it has become very popular. Another restaurant owner often has cooking classes on Monday nights when they are closed.

💞Sue ..

Ask your friend. Tell her you are totally open to anything and that you know she would know best what works for her given her mobility.

I have recently gotten my pain under control but have had severe pain and mobility issues for the past few years. It was really hard feeling like I was deflating someone's big plans or expectations especially when they thought they were planning so carefully around my needs. I can't stress enough how wise it is to just ASK HER. It will take pressure off of the both of you.

Frankly, I'd hate going to spa, painting class, or cooking class. I'd feel it was a waste of money and not really how I'd like to spend time with a friend.

Also, drive anywhere you go, offer to drop her off while you park the car. Be mindful of restaurants that have stairs as so many do!

If you can find a restaurant or coffee shop that it a really enjoyable place to linger, has plants, a nice patio, it can really elevate the simple event of having a meal or tea. If you are someone who doesn't get around a lot, just being in a different environment can be so very nice.

Warning about museum and botanical gardens. Even small ones can often have so much walking just to get to the entrance, to the ticket counter, and finally into the exhibition. I had planned many times to see small exhibitions or go on a tram at a botanical garden only to find I couldn't walk to the departure area.

Honestly, I was also thinking that someone with mobility issues might likely be content just hanging out, relaxing and catching up. I might plan more home-based activities, like streaming a movie and ordering takeout, or maybe cooking a special dish or meal together...?

Oh, I'll ask her what's she's comfortable with and wouldn't plan anything without her input. I just think it's nice to offer suggestions, especially since she doesn't know the area.

My other concern is I'm afraid I'll get antsy if we end up sitting around all weekend but that's a minor blip.

Please take a break for yourself for a couple of hours and do a hike or some other physical activity. As a guest, I would love for my host to tell me she was giving me some alone/downtime while she did something that I knew was important to her, but I wasn’t interested in or able to participate in..

Olychic YES! Time away from one another daily is imperative, IMO. Under the same roof is fine, just constantly chatting can be exhausting.

There are parks and such around for people with mobility issues where you don't have to go far from the car to see something. We went to a garden about an hour from here and they had people in wheel chairs and even a guy on crutches missing a leg. There was much of the park they couldn't see, but the main area was on one level and still lovely. Also if you can go for a pretty drive. My friend many years ago I took her "hiking" by car. We drove through a lovely area and were able to pull off the side of the road where she could get out and see waterfalls and such. A nearby town has a park with a lake that's near the parking lot, so a short walk to a picnic table or bring a chair to enjoy the view.

Farmers markets and gift shops are fun to poke around without a lot of distance to cover...

Unfortunately, I cannot easily hike as much or as far as I used to, and when we went to Cruel World last month, I hiked over five miles. However, I did take a collapsible stool with me so that I would always have a place to sit, if I needed to. Standing is worse than walking for me.

The next day, we went to the Petersen Automotive Museum and walked over two miles while there, which would not have been bad if I had had a day to rest in between.

When I was 33 and broke my ankle in San Francisco and was on crutches, I rented a wheelchair to make mobility easier, and so I could go to Golden Gate Park. I had my roommate wheel me through the park, and the only bad thing was that he kept calling me Blanche.

Lars, the Blanche story is so funny!

What about a driving tour? Are there easily accessible viewpoints or points of interest in your area? Pack a picnic lunch. My family did some epic road trips when I was kid, despite living in an area no one would mistake for a tourist destination.

If your friend has a handicap permit, one of the ones that hangs from the rearview mirror, ask her to bring it. That would be handy no matter where you go.

It is a must for me when I have friends visit that I tell them I have to do something else for a while - work, phone call to my Mom, whatever. They are always fine having time on their own to wander my neighborhood or spend down time that they never have to themselves at home.