Best wishes to you, too, Brandon,for a bright and happy future. For what it's worth, I only really started GARDENING -not roses necessarily, but just plain gardening-when I was about 40. Have courage!

Best wishes from me, too.

I started gardening when I was about thirty, beginning with seed packets given me in return for a few hours volunteering. First attempts at growing anything; then I moved to Washington state, two gardens, the second one serious; then I moved to Italy, two gardens, the second one is my current one. What I've found out is that, when I leave a garden behind, I miss it terribly until the next garden gets going; and then I don't miss it any more. So I hope you can start your next garden soon. It will be a good one, I'm sure.

P.S. I was forty-five when I started my current garden; DH, who was my strong right hand for many years until age finally overtook him, was sixty-eight.

Brandon, I really don't know how to express my sympathy, because you are going through multiple traumas. But getting out of a stressful marriage will allow you a clearer head and a more rested mind, not to mention a more hopeful heart. While you're facing a lot, look for brightness in small things. Brightness in the larger things will come. As for starting a garden at 44...you're a mere whipper snapper, lol. I'm pushing 70, and yes, I'm slowing down. But gardening, if you'll excuse the pun, keeps me grounded. And working in the garden is widely known to be therapeutic.

We're here if you just need to grouse, or need encouragement. Even if you just lurk, remember that you have friends here.

Brandon . . . Been there. Done that.

Is there one rose you particularly hate to leave behind? If there is, take cuttings of that, and grow a plant as a promise that better days are ahead of you.

Better yet, pot some up. She probably won't notice. You will really be happier away from negativity.

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

@jerijen I particularly hate to leave the seedlings that germinated from the cross I made with Charles de Mills and Abraham Darby, that have not yet bloomed.

Unfortunately, this process is so far from amicable that at this point I really only want clothes, transportation and government documents. Everything else she can have. If it meant that I could get a divorce finalized by the 10th of July, 2025, I would be willing to give up parental rights, with the stipulation that my spouse has a strict zero contact policy with me, for the rest of our lives.

That is how badly I want to be done and over with this and my soon to be ex-wife. And it has only been 3 days since I left.

Make sure your child can contact you safely later when all dies down.

Brandon, I heartily second Sheila's suggestion. Best wishes.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you have more than your share of heartache as well as anger. Make a minimum of decisions at present and see what options you have for important issues like access to your child once you have some emotional space to process everything

I echo everyone else's sentiments that restarting a rose garden once you get settled is both a positive and potentially healing prospect. There's something inherently human about making things grow, even more so when you can create new roses like with your seedlings. There is much more of that kind of healing in your future when ou have the physical and emotional space to do so. Don't despair that it can be possible in the future, even if it seems hopeless now.

We're glad that you have trusted us with your emotions and situations and we're thinking of you as you face what you need to face in the process.

Cynthia

Brandon - I echo all of the comments above (especially about making sure your child can contact you, no matter what). So sorry that it is such a traumatic situation for you - hope the work and time to get things sorted out are not too bad.

My other reactions are: (1) 44 is young! I never gardened or grew anything at all until I was 40. (2) no matter where you end up living, you can always grow roses or even one rose, on a patio, or a small balcony, or somewhere, to have and take care of, and cheer you up.

We will all be thinking of you, and wishing you peace and good things.

Jackie

Congrats on a new beginning! Happiness and roses are waiting for you in the future! This will pass, don’t look back, focus on the future. May be there is a gardener with a yard of roses is waiting for you. Can you add on house owner and gadener on your dating requirements?