Thank you. I will make sure to have a recliner available because I am also a stomach sleeper, and I will also move items down so I don't have to reach up, as I understand I can't do that for a while either.

I'm glad for you to have made a decision that will reduce your risk by so much. It makes total sense to me. (I'm now researching hysterectomy because of my mom's cancer, and my risk isn't even as high as yours. Peace of mind is where it is at!)

I'd google "reddit" then key phrases to get very current perspectives from lots of people. Try these threads to start with. The talk about support pillows, dealing with drains, how to have a kid cuddle with you, having a relative or friend move in for two weeks, and much more:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BRCA/comments/17hxcjt/what_was_your_whole_process_for_prophylactic/

https://www.reddit.com/r/breastcancer/comments/14osiud/how_to_recover_from_mastectomy_as_a_mom_of_young/

https://www.reddit.com/r/BRCA/comments/siak5k/post_op_and_small_children/

Surgery, hospitalizations, and recovery change drastically even within 5 year periods of time. You want to hear from people who have had this done recently, as well as from those who have small children. You will find that on reddit. Be prepared for the odd one-off stories of people who had complications, and you'll have to read about people who have cancer and needed chemo, but you will find tons of other great and useful information too from people whose stories are more the norm and pertinent to your stage of life.

I've known of women who have made similar choices, but they have not been close family or friends. I do have a neighbor I treasure who had a bilateral mastectomy last year after they found a tumor. She had no known risk factors, but she had no hesitation in going full throttle with the surgery. It is a daunting surgery and recovery. She is a generation older and didn't have children to tend to, but that also means you are a generation younger and should recover even faster. She read a lot of things online - got scared (have the best doctor, the best p[rep and know what and why, don't worry about horror stories that are often from folks who didn't do all the things they should, etc. -- sounds like you are there), but also got prepared. She cleaned the house and moved things to places she could reach without lifting, got the pillows and ice packs and all the things. She borrowed the walker and cane DH had from his knee replacement just in case she felt weak or off with the surgery or her treatments - but I don't know that she ever needed them. The time seems like forever, then passes pretty quickly.

I did everything I could to avoid a meniscus repair years ago because I'd never had surgery and didn't want to have to go under. Be like my super neighbor - not a baby like me. Be smart, be prepared and be fabulous on the other side. I did great too, BTW, once they knocked me out.

Beagles, I get it. My mom died from ovarian cancer at 55. I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed almost 10 years ago.

My SIL had a mastectomy about 20 years ago, and a second one about 3 years ago. She said the second one was so much easier because of more modern technology. I do recall she stocked up on tank tops and button up shirts.

I understand the reasoning behind your decision and certainly wish you the best of outcomes. I can't add any specific recommendations - just the fact that 2 women I know have had the surgery recently and have had great results, plus the peace of mind that comes from it.

One is the 40 year old sister of my DDIL who was diagnosed with breast cancer and tests showed she had a genetic variation. She opted for a double mastectomy and breast re-construction. It's been 4 years and she has no regrets. I don't remember exactly which genetic variation she had but both her sisters were then tested and they were negative. At some point my grand daughters will also be tested but they're too young now.

The other woman was nearly 50 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and even though she had numerous tests they were all negative. She is Jewish and was especially concerned about the BRCA mutations but tested negative for those. She also had reconstruction done.

Sending good thoughts your way for a quick and uneventful recovery.

I have no advice or experience, but you sound so comfortable with your well thought out and researched choice. I wish you wonderful healing.

At 45, my daughter had a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with very very early breast cancer. She had options but decided to have a mastectomy because like you she did not want the stress of frequent screenings. She wanted to put it all behind her. You have received good advice from our friends on the forum. Your youth and outlook are on your side for an uneventful recovery. My daughter took it easy for a few days. She was diligent about staying hydrated, ate lightly but frequently. Enjoyed comfort things like her barefoot dreams cardigan and flannel shirts. She was able to sleep in her own bed with a few extra pillows. Her little doggie kept her company. She is a doer and does not let grass grow under her feet. She is a teacher and chose to return to the classroom after 3 weeks, but not full time. She arranged to work only mornings a few days a week. Most days she needed a nap. I hope you have the same experience as my daughter at the hospital. The nurses at the breast unit are very special people. My daughter was very moved by their genuine kindness and pampering. The nurses’s support made all the difference and my daughter was very grateful. Best of luck and good wishes.

Very wise decision IMO. I had some issues that led to discovering that I had an increased risk of cancer of the uterus. My dr advised a hysterectomy. I did not hesitate and opted for total. Honestly i did not want the worry. I was able to do robotic surgery and amazed at how easy it was. Sounds like you are well prepared. Please let us know how you do and we will be thinking of you!

While I have not had the same experience, I would do the same in a heartbeat. Peace of mind, especially at a young age is priceless.

I had a total hysterectomy at 50yo (AEH), not long before the arrival of our first grandbaby. Pre-surgery prep, a recliner and a very helpful husband made for a smooth recovery. Before any surgery I make sure we are well stocked on regularly used items (pantry and otherwise). DH and the kids dubbed it our mini-mart back in the 90s when I started buying in bulk. I have practiced this ever since and we never run out of anything. Sure you can order or someone can go to the store, but it's one (or more) less thing for someone to do when they are doing more during the patient's recovery.

Wishing you all the best with your surgery and recovery.

I have nothing to add in the way of advice but wanted to chime in with best wishes for an uneventful surgery and speedy recovery.

Congratulations on your decision! I have a good friend who did the same after her children were weaned. It was a while ago and as mentioned surgical techinques are drifferrnt now. My friend also didnt opt for reconstruction, she said she was done with surgery.

What a difficult decision. I hope surgery and recovery are quick and easy for you!

I don't have any experience to share but I appreciate that you are sharing your experience and your thought process in making the decision. You seem confident in your decision and fully prepared for the recovery ... I admire your healthy attitude and wish you all the best!

In 2021 my daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 45 and given lots of options. She opted for double mastectomy with reconstruction. There was no guarantee they could do the implants at the same time, but that's how it worked out. She was able to keep her nipples too. She stayed with me during her recovery which went well, not too much pain (!) just the nuisance of drainage tubes. When she got the tubes removed she was thrilled and well on her way to healing. She has some residual numbness in that area, but doesn't care.

I think you are making the right decision. May all go smoothly for you.

A friend of mine went through the exact same thought process as you did. Her mother, two aunts and an uncle(!) all had breast cancer and she had a number of cysts removed through the years. When she was in her mid-50's she had a double mastectomy and the surgery went well. The reconstruction process had a couple of minor hiccups that were easily addressed.

Her kids are teenagers and although it was especially emotionally hard for her 15 year old daughter as a family they made it through.

Even though my friend was secure in her reasoning and in her decision she wasn't quite prepared for her emotional reaction after the surgery.

I wish you well and please let us know how you're doing.

Just here to add support and well wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.❤️

I am a breast ca survivor who thought I was going to have a bilateral mastectomy for a period of time. A few gals on my work unit were diagnosed within a few years of me and had various surgeries. I'll share our collective advice.

A wedge pillow is helpful to try and nap in bed. Shirts that button up the front are a must have early on since arms are difficult to lift. Lanyards or a short pouch to carry your drains are nice. A suction cup hook in the shower to hold the drains. A shower chair if you do not have one. Even though everyone is in a hurry to get the drains out, do not rush that. The fluid build up and potential complications are way worse than living with the drains for a longer time. Wear your tight bra longer than they say.

My girls have high IBIS scores and have had screenings for a while even though they are in their early 30's. It's a lot and I applaud you.

Sorry to hear of the need for surgery. wishing you the best in recovery.

Thank you all so much for the helpful advice and the shared stories. It is so helpful to hear from people I "know" and the Reddit threads were helpful as well! I have ordered a wedge pillow, some button up shirts and I am going to make sure to move items down to the counter.

I'm not doing reconstruction, at least not for now. My surgeon said I could always change my mind later but I just want to be done, honestly.

You are doing a brave and loving thing, ensuring that your darling kids will have a healthy mom for years to come. You’ll do fine, Im sure and you reminded me to getmy mammogram.

My mom had a double preventative mastectomy years ago. She was so relieved afterwards to not have to worry about it anymore. Good luck! Self-care is so important, you'll be setting a good example for your little ones.

After thoughts--I feel you are in pretty good shape but make sure you can get up out of a chair without using your arms. A higher arm chair may also be a nice alternative for sitting in, either a wingback type of dining chair.

Beagles, i sent you a private message.

Wishing you the best possible surgery and recovery. I think 100% you are doing the right thing for your peace of mind and for your kids. My very closest friend died from breast cancer and another close friend passed from brain cancer. If I were in your shoes, I would make the same choice.

You are incredibly brave and strong for making this health decision @beaglesdoitbetter!

Sending along my wishes for a speedy recovery.

My niece had a double mastectomy and reconstruction (BRCA) last month at Bethesda Naval Medical Center; her husband stayed with us while she was in the hospital and we got regular reports. She was in ICU for a week, and another week on the med/surg ward. She is my sister's stepdaughter; her mother died from breast cancer when she was 2, and her maternal aunt and niece both died from breast cancer as well (all had the BRCA gene). We had my niece and her family over for Thanksgiving afterwards; she was still recovering, obviously, but seemed comfortable and was mobile and cheerful—I was quite impressed. I think having someone who can prepare meals and provide childcare was very important. My niece's children are 9 and 5; I think the hardest part was that her youngest (who is very busy) didn't understand why he had to be careful around her.

All my best to you for a speedy recovery. I'm sure you'll have such a sense of relief once the procedure is done.

You have made a wise decision. I would make the same exact decision if my family/genetic history was the same as yours.

Also, your decision to not have an immediate reconstruction is a personal one - I've known a few woman who have made the same decision. Only one out of four women decided to have a reconstruction done a couple years later. I

I decided to live breast-free after bilateral mastectomies and haven't had any regrets about choosing that route.

I wish you the best in your healing and recovery, Beagles. I think you have made a wise (and brave) decision.

Two of my closest friends are breast cancer survivors, and their only problem after mastectomies was the expanders/reconstruction process. Both of them wish that they hadn’t opted for reconstruction as that is what created complications for them.

Will be thinking positive healing thoughts for you!

Thanks! My husband will be there, and my inlaws are also coming to help so hopefully the childcare thing will not be an issue. I feel like I am very at peace with not doing reconstruction too. Avoiding the extra surgeries and time away from my kids that would result just makes it seem so not worth it for me although I totally understand why others make different choices.

I failed to mention that my neighbor has done so amazingly well. I was so worried about her, but so far, she's my hero. She decided not to have reconstruction and I don't think she has had one ounce of regret and I don't really notice when I see her or we are talking. She did mention the button front shirts and tank tops under everything and also some kind of pad or shield for the seat belt in your car.

Yes on the seat belt pillow. I ordered one from THIS seller to use on my 5hr drive back home three days after bladder prolapse surgery. Mine is the hysterectomy seatbelt pillow, but I don't see why it couldn't be used on the shoulder strap. The thickness provided comfort, easy to attach/remove and, once buckled in, I did not even notice it was there.

ETA: Just noticed she has one for your surgery (LINK) and she also makes drain holders. This is not a large company. I believe she works from home.

I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction 7 years ago at the age of 50 when I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Although no known-mutations were found, my mother also had breast cancer (twice) in her 40's. I applaud you for taking control of your health. As I told my friends, "I'm going to die someday, but now I know it's not going to be from breast cancer". It's quite empowering. That said, the surgery does involve recovery - not just physically but emotionally for some. Opting for no reconstruction does speed up the physical recovery time by quite a bit and reduce the discomfort that some experience.

I have counselled a number of women through this process and would be happy to share more / listen. If you think that would be helpful, please dm me.

In addition to the advice you've already received, I would have LOTS of pillows available - bed pillows and lumbar size. When you have the drains, placing them under your armpits to keep the drains from pulling is very helpful. Also, you will not be able to wash your hair or blowdry by yourself for a bit. I had a standing appointment every Friday to have it done at a salon. It sounds silly, but a fresh blowout each week was very good for my psyche.

I wish you the best of luck. You will be Ok!

It's a very courageous decision and I wish you a healthy recovery and all the best to you and your family.

I too applaud your decision and can’t emphasize enough how brave you are to have decided to go forward with the surgery. I would do the same. I worked with someone who also did the surgery after a small lump was found during a mammogram. She also considered a hysterectomy because in some cases the two are connected. She had been tested for the gene and found she only had the one related to breast cancer (I believe they are BRCA-1 and BRCA-2) although usually they fall together under the hereditary label.

She did have the procedure for reconstruction but (as what texanjana’s friends experienced) had to have further surgery several years later to fix problems with the reconstruction. I personally don’t think it would be worth all that.

Surgical procedures in so many fields have progressed and improved drastically in the last 5-10 years. I’m highly optimistic yours will be successful and hopeful your recovery will be smooth. Thanks for sharing your journey.

I had bilateral mastectomy & reconstruction (expanders then silicone implants) in 2014 after I was diagnosed w/ BC. Some suggestions form me:

Button front shirts. I just got big ones and pinned the drains to them when I went out (mine had tabs with holes, so used big safety pins & stuck the pointy part through the hole). At home and if I was wearing a nice shirt out that I ddin't wnat to pocke a hole in, I used one of the many mardi Gras bead necklaces I had and hooked the safety pin to that (worked great in the shower!).

Use either the tiny alcohol prep pads or TP squares & bottled alcohol when milking the drains! Hold the tube near the skin with two fingers on one hand and then pinch the tube with the pad & slide it down towards the bulb. Holding the tube with the one hand will keep it from tugging at the opening in the skin and hurting like heck or possibly coming loose. make sure to wash your hands well before & after. I ended up with an infection on one side, hospital for several days & then on IV ABX via a picc line for a month!

Make sure you get plenty of protein for healing and to keep from losing so much muscle mass. They have a lot better protein drink/shake options now!

Sleeping in bed - get a wedge or several bed pillows to prop you up and some smaller pillows to lay our arms on to keep your arms level with your back. Those keep your shoulders form pulling back & also keep the drains from pulling. Back sleeping only until the drains come out; I put pillows under my knees to ease the pressure on my lower back. Between those and the ones propping me up, it was almost like sleeping in an adjustable hospital bed and kept me from rolling on my side as I am a side sleeper.

Good luck!!!

I'm going to echo Straitlover's reminders about protein, which is important for recovery. If you believe you'll have appetite problems, you may want to order protein shakes to have on hand. They were essential in my sister's recovery from surgery.

Wishing you all the best, Beagles. Enjoy a peaceful holiday season with your family, and a healthy 2026!

Thank you all. Ordered a pillow, adding protein shakes to my list.

The drains are the part that freak me out the most, but I keep telling myself this is a short time for an investment on a (hopefully) long life so I can put up with it for a few weeks.

Beagles, not that my opinion matters, but I think you have made a good decision. My younger sister made the same choice years ago and I would, too, if necessary. I wish you a quick recovery and drains that are not too annoying for those weeks.

You have a large crew here wishing you a quick recovery and wishing you everything you wish for yourself in the coming years..

Thank you all so much <3 I knew I could count on my friends and I am so grateful to have this community to turn to for all of these years.

Beagles - my DH helped me with the drains. My mastectomies were a year apart. I also wanted to share this resource with you in case you haven't found it yet

https://krissfoundation.org/breastfree/

Best wishes,

seagrass