The universe is trying to say something to me today. The following appeared in my feed today about a related idea: wanting only what is yours to give.

” ’Some things are in your control and others are not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions.‘ Everything else — your body, your property, your reputation, other people’s opinions of you — sits on the other side of the line.”

Philosopher Epictetus

That's a lovely moment of reflection. I agree -- and will even go so far as to disagree that holding a door open slows everyone down. I think it often speeds things up for most folks -- but not the rest of the first party are waiting for the person holding the door and no one take it from them to hold for later folks.

The irony of all this is the folks who probably most need to hear it and try it are the ones too busy rushing, grabbing and taking up more space.

I often struggle to reject possessing and take pleasure in experiencing. There's something about the permanence of possession that allows me to re-experience the pleasure of the experience whether it be a painting or a book or a teacup. I work hard to keep a balance and find joy in the transitory as well.

I learned a lesson long ago about trying to hold on to a possession in order to remember an experience. I used to attend music festivals like Suwannee in Live Oak FL to hear Guy Clark and Merle Fest in NC and many jazz events in clubs with and without DH . I came home from my first ever festival with a couple CD’s.

I was so excited to let DH hear what I had heard. He never attended them as I went with my good friend back then 30 years ago. Anyway I put on a CD and it started and I was so dissapointed and disillusioned! I exclaimed ” it didn’t sound like this at all!”.

He just sighed and smiled and said it never does. Guy and Tony and all the rest were that moment and that’s what you hear inside your head and heart.

Yes you can buy recordings and take photos but they aren’t the same and as long as you know it and accept it that’s ok.

We take so few pictures. I never ever buy recordings since that time. I remember at odd moments and see things in my minds eye. When I do look at a photo I do remember but I’m glad my heart remembers more clearly. c

I love seeing all the thoughts each of you share. Thank you so much. 🙏

I don't have any family photos displayed in my house. I have never felt that I needed to display them. I don't need photos to remind me of family who are gone and those that are still here. The connections and emotions live in the heart, and not in a photo frame on a wall.

I have a wall full of framed family photos for the grandchildren. They have no memories of these folks and it prompts lots of stories that then lead to more stories so in that respect the photos are a great reminder for me and for them a lesson about the past .

So there goes at least part of my theory above. 🙏

Kids are out of the house and no grandchildren yet at our house. Your reasoning is definitely valid, so some framed photos might appear at my house in a few years!

I follow an interior designer, Tina Takesh on youtube, who I heard say recently that she doesn't display family photos because (I'm paraphrasing), "Quite frankly, it makes me sad. I see pictures of my kids when they were younger and it makes me want those days back". I can completely relate to that sentiment and, from reading the comments, so can many others.

Wow. I love this.

I need some time to reflect on this. It is a little after 7 am here on the East Coast, and my current view is very peaceful. Perfect time for sitting with my thoughts.

@Ally De thank you. sitting with thoughts here on this beautiful cool morning with the birds singing. 🙏

I have a different take than the designer IIitm mentions. On the 4th I was given an album of photos of my granddaughter with some of my daughter, spanning about 10 years from age 2 from a family friend. I had tears in my eyes over some of the beautiful images, many with such compelling expressions, but it was NOT sadness! I had forgotten how she looked, so differently through the stages of her growth. What a gift to treasure! I have been planning a family photo grouping in my hallway for years. This gift is inspiring me to get it done soon.

^ I meant to add it never occured to me wanting those days back, even when looking at my own kid's childhood photos. I think it helps living fully in the present moment, working on being one's best self plus a dose of radical acceptance if needed.

@Indigo Rose radical acceptance. Most needed here. I am getting helpful ideas from everyone’s posts. Thank you for reading and contributing. c

Thank you for sharing these wise words 🙂

To each their own… we have photos and portraits of our family all over the place and I love them dearly. I’m a visual person and the photos evoke those sweet memories every day; a strong sense of family history is important to me. I’ve heard interior designers say one should not have family photos in the ”public” areas of their homes and I always wondered why. Or if they didn’t have any photos they thought were pleasing enough for others to see? It’s our house, not a train station where people are constantly coming and going— and even though we have lots of company no one has ever complained 😎

My dad was a photographer, and all 3 of his daughters took it up too, so that's always been a big part of our family life.

I suppose if you often held large affairs in a large home, then having public vs. private spaces would make more sense

I have family photos all placed on a console in my living room. My biggest joy is seeing how my grandchildren, all 5 of them look at the photos and see themselves with such beautiful smiles and giggles while they point everyone out. All 5 grandchildren are under 6 years of age. It truly makes my day.

With reference to photos I was speaking more to my not taking lots of photos of ” stuff” when traveling.

As with the music events and trying to ” bring home” the feelings by buying CDs I took so many photos of everything along the way on my first bicycle trip cross country. When I went back to look at them many were just pictures but didn’t evoke the feelings that I remembered and had been trying to capture.

Part of that I am sure is my photography ability 😂. It did reinforce in me that what I enjoyed most was just looking with intention at scenes and feeling the present and whatever gets remembered from that experience .

As always we all have our ways and means and it is a gift that we can share here without recriminations or blame or guilt . Thank you all . c

I am going to be a wise guy and tell you that when i read the title of this post I thought it was going to be about something like giving up a closet to make room for a larger bathroom!

As for photos, I have family photos everywhere, not to mention in boxes and stored on my phone. I do need to purge my phone photos.

@dedtired yep I figured that ! It was a perfect title that Paul used but when I saw it and read the piece I thought I’d get people to read it because of the title. 🙏❤️😊c

@carolb_w_fl_coastal_9/10 you will like my other thread I started tonight. 😊🙏