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myrealnameismama_goose

It's been awhile and long overdue update.

I don't think I've commented on Houzz convo forums (Home Dec or Kitchen Table) since maybe 2022 although I check in once in a while. My most frequent comments were in the Kitchens forum but due to several events in my life I don't really have the time to return to discussions, and I don't like to just throw out an idea and disappear.

In 2022 I lost my younger sister to triple negative breast cancer, which was heartbreaking. She and I were not twins but were truly soulmates. I was with her through all her chemotherapy treatments and at her one-year anniversary check-up when she was told she was healthy. Shortly after that she found another mass, which was found to have metastasized to her lungs and stomach. Again, I was with her almost constantly in her last weeks and was with her when she passed. In the time after her passing I reconnected with a family friend who was also friends with her and her husband. A couple of months after my sister died, our friend was diagnosed with cancer, so I called him to offer encouragement. We'd known each other since we were in seventh grade, had run into each other occasionally over the years and he was someone I was always happy to see. His prognosis wasn't very good so we kept in touch and eventually became closer. In early 2023 he had successful surgery for his cancer, and almost miraculously didn't need chemo or other treatments. We were married in December of that year, thirteen years after I'd been widowed. I was 66, he was 67!

After my late husband died, I never had a thought about remarrying, dating, or even having coffee with another man--until my current husband told me that with his future being uncertain, he was ready to take a chance. We are still very happily married, and together have four adult children, four grandchildren, and one great-granddaughter! We live in the home my late husband and I bought and where we raised our children (who are also very happy for us).

For the past year my father (almost 90yrs old) has lived with us and now needs total care. Since my father has also known my husband since hubby was 13, they get along very well, and my husband helps with my father's care. I am also managing my father's business (from which he should have retired long ago), with my husband's help. It's the same business my parents started, then split, when they divorced in 1998. When my mother passed unexpectedly in 2017, I had to take over managing her business, so I've slowly had more responsibilities added. I am happy to report that despite being busier than ever with life, I am happy and healthy and still gardening.

I'd like to say hello to everyone from the GW days, and those who stayed when Houzz took over--to those who post, and those who just check in once in a while to see who's still here.



Comments (36)

  • 2 months ago

    Mama goose, I love happy endings-it is so kind of you to share your journey. I think this fits:

    "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." — Kahlil Gibran

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
  • 2 months ago

    I remember your (screen) name- and am so happy to read that your long and winding road has ultimately been pretty blessed. So nice for you to update and I hope you'll stick around.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked salonva
  • 2 months ago

    Very nice to see your name, you always gave excellent advice (which I’d love to be the beneficiary of for a coming kitchen addition), and many happy wishes to you!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked lisaam
  • 2 months ago

    What a blessing to find new love in the midst of adversity. I remember your screen name. I am so glad you took the time to post your update.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Fun2BHere
  • 2 months ago

    Mama goose, so happy to see you here again, and commenting in Kitchens with your always sage advice. You are doing yeoman’s work on the family front, and we are so glad you have found a sweet spot again.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked bpath
  • 2 months ago

    Very happy to meet you mama goose.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked hobbitmom
  • 2 months ago

    I do remember your name. I sometimes wonder what happened to former posters who vanished. Thanks for checking in.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked dedtired
  • 2 months ago

    Mama Goose, what adversity you've made your way through! But you persevered. Your story brought me to such sad tears but I'm so glad that you took me back to happy tears!


    Nice to see that you're back!


    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked donna_loomis
  • 2 months ago

    You’ve certainly had some challenges. Sounds like you’ve weathered them with grace and fortitude. Love that your story arc brings back a character from the early days and that y’all have found such happiness together.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked bbstx
  • 2 months ago

    How wonderful to see you post again!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked porkchop_z5b_MI
  • 2 months ago

    So nice to see you again. You've certainly led an emotionally charged life for the last few years, Thrilled to hear you're remarried through all of the adversity. You are certainly keeping busy. May you both live long and happy and healthy lives together.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked blfenton
  • 2 months ago

    Hey Mama Goose! Good to see a familiar face, and even greater to hear that great things are happening for you. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. A lot has happened. Keep us updated when you want to.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked rob333 (zone 7b)
  • 2 months ago

    I do remember your screen name; it always made me think of nursery rhymes! What a journey you've been on and a gift to your sister and now your Dad. I'm sorry for your losses, but glad to hear you are doing well and have a partner to share it with. Welcome back!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked lizbeth-gardener
  • 2 months ago

    What a lovely update! You found love and happiness in the midst of grief. Happy for you!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked nutsaboutplants
  • 2 months ago

    Wonderful update, wonderful news! My condolences on the loss of your sister, I’m sure you still feel that very keenly. ❤️

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Kswl
  • 2 months ago

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. That is heartbreaking, and you must have been a constant source of support and comfort for her. It's wonderful to read the aftermath and how you've found renewed happiness and purpose in life.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Feathers11
  • 2 months ago

    Thanks for the update. Talk about full catastrophe living! You've certainly had a lot on your plate, but I'm glad things have worked out well for you despite the challenges.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Annie Deighnaugh
  • 2 months ago

    I remember you. So glad you made an appearance and caught us up on your life. So sorry about your sister, but happy you found your new love.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked lily316
  • 2 months ago

    You have had great sorrow and great blessings. Life asks much of us, but so glad for you for the joy you have now.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked laceyvail 6A, WV
  • 2 months ago

    Thank you for checking in. Wishing you all the best and I hope you continue stay in our little corner.

    Welcome back !

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked eld6161
  • 2 months ago
    last modified: 2 months ago

    Mama Goose, I remember you well from years ago in the Kitchen forum (but can't recall my old handle back then!). Your heart-rending journey of loss turning celebratory is so touching. I hope you decide to remain active somewhere here again.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Indigo Rose
  • 2 months ago

    Wonderful to hear from you and your story of moving forward toward the light one step at a time.


    I was Trailrunner back in Kitchens in 2007. c

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Still trailing
  • 2 months ago
    last modified: 2 months ago

    Mama Goose! So nice to see a post from you. I remember you well from the Kitchen Forum. You were always generous with your ideas, and very creative with space planning solutions.

    It sounds like life has been keeping you very busy with both heartache and joy. How wonderful about finding your old friend, new husband. And I am sorry to hear your sister’s cancer story. F### Cancer. I lost my brother to colon cancer last year, horrifically, only 4 werks after his diagnosis. I ache still and I know you must as well.

    Thank you so much for the update.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked localeater
  • 2 months ago

    I remember your screen name also. Welcome back Mama Goose. I'm very sorry you lost your beloved sister. Where there is great love, there is great loss. She was blessed to have by her side.

    I'm so glad to hear you found love and happiness again.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked katlan
  • 2 months ago

    Thank you all, very much. It's nice to see familiar faces and to meet new members. I don't know if you'll recall when I posted about my first husband's sudden passing, one of our daughters and her small son had moved in with us when she and her husband separated. Having them here, and having the GW community, helped me get through the devastation of his loss. My sister and her husband also made a special effort to help me with emotional support and with anything I needed when I had to finish our DIY kitchen remodel without my husband. My sister and our mother were especially close, so when Mom passed away, I think I became more of a mother figure to my sister.

    My daughter eventually remarried and had another son, while continuing to live with me, but then after a few years, she and her husband bought their own home nearby--but not until after the covid lockdown. My other daughter had moved back home during covid so that we would all be in the same household, and so she could help with the boys. So, for a few years my life was full of activity, then the children moved on, my sister was gone, and I think my feeling alone was what allowed me to consider another relationship. The 'stars aligned' for both me and my new love, and because he'd kept in touch with my father over the years, we knew what was happening in each other's lives, even when we were both living in other areas.


    Thank you for the welcome back!

  • 2 months ago
    last modified: 2 months ago

    I also remember your screen name. My condolensces on the loss of your sister. Having only one sibling/sister, I cannot imagine. How wonderful to find love again. Your father is blessed to have you both caring for him.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Allison0704
  • 2 months ago

    I remember your screen name. Sorry for the losses you've endured. I'm happy that you've found a soulmate and remarried. Full circle...and thank you for the update.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked NiCOZ5
  • 2 months ago

    Mama Goose I'm so sorry for your losses and very glad to hear about a happy marriage for you. I remember you from the Kitchens forum and that you were so generous with your time with great kitchen design solutions for problem layouts. Thank you for your update and I hope to see more of you!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Kitchenwitch111
  • 2 months ago

    Welcome back, Mama Goose! My deepest condolences on the loss of your sister. How wonderful that you have found a loving partner again, and that you are able to care for your father alongside him.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked texanjana
  • 2 months ago

    I've ready many of your old comments - I started gardening 3-4 years ago. You've helped me with quite a few issues along the way due to the advice/information in your old comments! I think you may have also directly helped me when I was having issues with a Japanese Maple tree around five years ago.


    I am very sad to hear about the loss of your sister. I have three sisters - two of them have had breast cancer (not gene related). My oldest sister still has some concerns - I can't imagine losing any of my sisters.


    It made me very happy to hear that you found a new love. At 53 yrs old, you still had a lot of life yet to live when you lost your first husband. I needed to read about a "happy ending" today - thanks for making me smile!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked dani_m08
  • 2 months ago

    Thank you all for your kindness and inspirational quotes. I've always remembered a quote Queen Elizabeth II borrowed from an older source: Grief is the price we pay for love.

  • 2 months ago

    I'm not sure we were in the same forums but in any event. I am sorry for your losses, and happy for your well, I guess, gains! Welcome back.

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • PRO
    2 months ago

    Wow, what a story--thanks for updating us! I also remember your screen name and the good advice you always proffered.

    You are so blessed to have found roses among the thorns. I am deeply sorry for your losses and amazed at your good fortune. I too have sisters and they are a treasure. I wish you many wonderful days ahead with your new love!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
  • last month

    What a wonderful yet tragic story. I have maybe just started on kitchen table backthen. You are truely amazing to come through all you have, and have still made a happy life for yourself. Hope you can drop in more often. what a role model

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked ladypat1
  • last month

    Welcome back, Mama Goose. I’m sorry about the loss of your sister.


    I am happy that you found another life partner and are relaxed and happy. Stick around!

    mama goose_gw zn6OH thanked petalique