We don’t / didn’t get notices of any extended family graduations ever nor have we done any Christmas gifts for any extended family members in many many decades. Haven’t been to an extended family marriage in decades either.

We only celebrate our son and his family and our daughter and her family so that’s 8 people. Mostly no gifts but we do experiences by paying all their camp fees every Summer which is a lot.

I think it isn’t necessary to give gifts either money or actual presents to anyone else. Well wishes by card or phone is plenty.

We give very large donations to several important to us charities and our children know this.

I guess this qualifies as ” my hill to die on”. Trailrunner/ c

I think it depends on one's relationship to the graduate. For a graduate who I don't know, but that I feel I MUST give a gift, I think a congratulatory card and $100 is sufficient (or even just a card alone). For a graduate with whom I have an ongoing connection, there is no limit.

His family is tiny, so they are truly some of his only living relatives. He has a brother, two nieces, and two grandnieces. That’s it as far as I know.

Maybe my question should be: what do you give for HS graduation?

Fun2BHere, I was typing and didn’t see your response yet, but you’ve answered my question perfectly. Thank you!

I agree with Fun2Be. $100 is more than enough for such a distant relationship and $50 might have been okay too. It's not like a high school graduation is such a monumentous event that the entire extended family would congregate. Not even for a college graduation is that typical and that's much more significant.

Thanks everyone! All helpful.

Nothing

two nephew HS graduation, my BFF GD whom I love also HS graduation....sent gift cards of $100 each. Have received only one thank you....disappointing. I always made our kids send thank you responses, but of course that was back in the dark ages...!!

Lizzie_grow, The check was cashed very shortly after she received it. His nieces have always sent thank you cards and have had their kids send them too, but he never received any acknowledgment for this check. Very odd. That made me question the amount.

mtn, really?!

I don't personally find high school graduation to be that much of an accomplishment. It's a given in my world. What is this person doing with his life after high school, knowing that might influence my gift a bit. In the end it's a decision driven by your assets. I think any gift small or large is sufficient. To think there's a required/expected amount is just wrong on many levels.

Give what is in your budget or heart - not according to what anyone else gives.

HS Graduations -- non relatives, (think neighbors) and we have to know them pretty well $25.

We're a pretty small family, so we don't have any other HS grads.

I gave the neighbor twin girls $100 each for HS graduation, but I had Hawaiian-style money leis with $50, mixed with paper in the school colors, and then $50 each in cards.

The money leis are common in California, both just flowers and with currency, but here in PA, no one had ever heard of such a thing!

I usually give $100 for birthdays and HS graduatons. I have a tiny family with only one first cousin currently having grandkids in that age range. I'm very close to my cousin's daughter, so like to acknowledge her kids' milestones. I am also close to a very large family with lots of kids and now grandkids, so usually also send (or take to their parties) $100. I love being included in their celebrations. I sometimes try to find a little gift to incllude, but not always.

I agree with mtn and arcy. Nothing. Graduating from hs is a given. We never sent announcments. Its asking for a gift , imo, and would be embarrassing to receive one.

I'm 81 and don't remember receiving any gifts for graduating from high school. None for college either. Did all of you?

You asked: what do people give for HS graduations in this case?

Yes, my answer is nothing. For two reasons.

I really cannot recall anyone celebrating HS graduation and or sending any sort of announcement. It may be regional. Even for our own kids, we may have gone out to dinner IDK but I recall it more as something they celebrated with friends.

Secondly, a neice's daughter is generally too attenuated a relationship for me to send a gift.

All of that said, I don't give gifts for under $100. As we age, we get a very distorted view of money. An amount of $100 today is equivalent in purchasing power to about $24.68 in 1980 dollars, probably ~ when many of us here graduated HS.

Moreover, sometimes one gives a gift out of familial duty (family tree proximity x significance of the event). Sometimes you give gifts just because you want to. So that could be my second cousin's neighbor...

Your friend was generous, and that was lovely of them.

I have been to many HS grad parties, more so than college grad events. I think the HS parties are partly a goodbye party, at least in cases where the kid is headed off to college. My standard gift is a $100 gift card to their college bookstore stashed inside a water bottle with the college name/symbol (almost all college bookstores have an online option).

Come to think of it, I don't see college graduation parties either!

These days I judge by dinners. If $100 will buy you a nice dinner, that's it.

$500 seems excessive, esp for a hs grad esp for that distant a relation.

Maybe im just not getting invites lol!

I dob’t think it’s how close they are related, but how close their relationship is. Here in my area of the South its pretty traditional to send out HS grad announcements although I dont see it as much these days. When I receive one I always do something monetary and a little something extra. In a way an invite dies seem like asking for money, but its a tradition. I rarely hear of grad parties and really you don’t have to go overboard with a gift (unless you want! lol)

My youngest graduated from high school last year. For random parties he was invited to where I didn’t know the kids (So many of these!) he took a $25 gift card. For closer friends, it was $50. If DH and I were invited, it was $100. Close family friends and family it’s $300 in a Yeti with their college logo.

I still get HS and college graduation announcements. It feels like we have all kinds of nieces/nephews/cousins/second cousins/random strangers sending us those little cards. 😆 I have been sending them all $100 for years.

Porkandham, I recall similar circumstances when my kids graduated HS, and parents joking all we were doing was swapping money. But my kids had tight friend groups then, and parents knew one another. In fact, 2 of those HS friends dropped by my house this weekend.

College graduations were celebrated with just our families. I knew college friends and their parents from family weekends and drop-off and pick-up days, but we didn’t become close with those families.

Mtn, you and I live on opposite coasts, and yet? Ditto to no HS or college announcements . What da?? This years grad ( dgd) held a very informal post ceremony party on patio of her college house. Credit to her and, largely, our dd arranging it. Parents kicked in for a taco truck, drinks and desserts. The grads decorated , moved furniture ,etc. Great fun and very informal .

People send announcements for high school graduation? Seriously?

I'm with mtn. Nothing. I cannot even imagine giving anyone, even my closest relatives, $500 for graduating high school. I gave my niece and nephew college grad gifts, but I'm pretty sure we did not do HS grad gifts. And certainly not to anyone outside immediate family.

I'm thankful that HS grad parties were not really a thing among my kids' friends. My DH's business is SAT prep so he's in several facebook parenting groups. The discussion of gifts for HS grad parties when the kids have 20-30 parties to attend blows my mind. I find it excessive.

I'll just chime in with one more thought. I have a few young people to whom I give birthday and Christmas gifts. In general, I stop giving them gifts when they graduate from high school as that seems to me to be a logical, if somewhat arbitrary, age to transition from childhood to adulthood. I don't give adults gifts for the many reasons that have been discussed here before. Therefore, a high school graduation gift is really celebrating more to me than just an accomplishment. It's a key life transition and so my gift is sort of a last hurrah, if you will.

High School grad parties/money gifts are super common where I live - I used to think it was a strange thing to celebrate (of course you graduated from high school) but having been to lots of these parties now, I see that it's more of a "end of an era" celebration

At the parties, all the kids hang out and get to see each other + parents/families reminisce about all the freezing soccer games, marching band performances in a gale force winds etc.. many of our kids have been in school together since kindergarten - kids who graduated earlier years will often come back and hit all the parties to see friends from the younger grades all in one place.

so my opinion has changed and now I think the celebrations/gifts are super sweet. We give $50 or $100 depending on how well we know the graduate - most kids put the money in their college account to help with tuition/expenses - where I live probably only about 25% get all of college paid for by parents