Faith, Respect, and a Conscience.

common sense, helping heart, trust

Acceptance, friendship and love

A sense of purpose. Loyalty. Tranquility.

Taste

Kindness, grace, and empathy

Health, peace, wisdom.

Money can buy all of these, if we choose to spend it accordingly.

How so?

I would agree that by spending one’s money in accordance with their own values rewards one by reinforcing those values / traits / purposes.

However, money cannot direct or alter fate, genetics (yet), or the actions of others. Having all the money in the world will not guarantee that a person will meet the mate who is the best fit for them, matchmakers and dating apps notwithstanding. Having money cannot prevent a person from succumbing to a genetic disease, or prevent them from being killed as an unfortunate bystander during a bank robbery.

We also cannot commodify emotions, although again, money can be spent to facilitate a situation to suppprt positive feelings.

The whole notion that health cannot be bought would likely be disputed by the disenfranchised poor in our own country as well as around the world.

Yes, well, it is a tad less heartwarming, but I've always told my kids to be realistic about what money does do.

My catchphrase, which you will not see on a pillow, is: Name a problem that money cannot solve or ameliorate.

Many good answers aready.

I'll add family and work ethic.

To some degree, money CAN buy peace of mind and happiness. If you have money, you won't go hungry or be forced to drive on worn-out tires -- and those are the type of things that bring stress, no matter how happy you may be otherwise.

I grew up poor, and I never understood those country songs about kids who never knew they were poor because they were so well loved. I knew my mom loved me, but I also knew better than to ask for new shoes when it wasn't my turn or field trip money.

There's nothing on any of the lists above that cannot be bought with access to resources like education, therapy and healthcare. You need the desire to change, of course, but it can all be bought with money.

Having all the money in the world will not guarantee that a person will meet the mate who is the best fit for them. This is a very poor example, for many reasons. If you find yourself in an unhappy partnership, money will buy you (and them, if willing) therapy to work through your issues to become a more fulfilling and fulfilled partner, or a breakup that allows you to part ways and move on comfortably. Money can always buy you out of a bad relationship. If you're "stuck," you either don't have access to resources, or don't have the desire to change.

Genetics account for a small percentage of our health. With money, you can buy better access to healthcare to extend your life, and certainly the quality of it.

Bank robbery? Protection from random acts of crime wasn't on anyone's list, and we can certainly look at statistics that prove that money certainly buys you entry into higher percentiles of protection.

The original question is what money cannot buy. Money can buy resources to improve every characteristic on everyone's list above, but what needs to accompany it is agency.

“You need the desire to change, of course, but it can all be bought with money”

Can that desire be bought? I mean, you may want those things, but if it requires you to change yourself, you may not be so inclined. Not even inclined to get the therapy that could help you unearth the desire to change.

You can’t always buy good health. You might be able to ameliorate the effects or impact on how you live.

There's nothing on any of the lists above that cannot be bought with access to resources like education, therapy and healthcare. You need the desire to change, of course, but it can all be bought with money.

Intelligence can't be bought. You are either intelligent or you're not. Sure, education can make you more... educated. But that's different than intelligent.

A sense of humor can't be bought with money either. But I have had a few wealthy bosses who, though totally devoid of humor, would tell their boring version of a "funny story" and the whole executive team would laugh as if they'd never heard anything so amusing. So, at the very least, money and/or the power to determine how money is distributed can buy you an "appreciative audience".

Sorry Feathers but i disagree. Money cannot buy love. Money cannot buy happiness. Sure money can change things, improve things, but it cannot buy love or happiness. There are alot of unhappy wealthy people out there.

Well, money can make things easier. If you have money, you don't have the stress of money-worries...which is the leading cause of divorce. So while it may not find you the best spouse, it may help you stay comfortable in your marriage. If you have money, you can't not die, but your final days may be longer and certainly more comfortable with good health care and personal home health aides. If you have money, you can't buy personal taste, but you can afford the services of someone who has it. And two anecdotal indicators that seemed to mirror economic health were the quality of people's teeth and whether or not the dents and dings in their cars were repaired both of which are more likely to be taken care of with money than without.

Feathers, while I appreciate and understand your point of view I disagree that money can buy all the things listed here. Your explanation of how money can change circumstances is basically an after the fact attempt to fix a situation gone wrong. Money cannot create, ipso facto, the good situation. Counseling to improve a bad marriage or having the financial resources to escape it isn’t in any way akin to the serendipity of a life lived with the ”.right” person— and none of us reslly has control over that kind of serendipity. We either meet that person or we don’t. Sometimes we meet a person who then grows into the spil mate we looked for. Neither of those scenarios can be bought.

And I disagree that genetics are a ”small” factor in ine’s health. Your genetic makeup is as determining a factor as your lifestyle choices, including diet and exercise.

We cannot buy a positive outlook on life. Yes, one can seek therapy to help mitigate negativity, but that requires personal effort and commitment which must come from some wellspring of soul that gives us the idea and ability to make life changes. That inner life of the soul, which accounts for the source of many things on people’s lists here, is not for sale. It is innate and it is up to each one of us to find it and nurture it and use it, not only for ourselves but that we might be that source of inspiration and growth, happiness, contentment and relationship for others.

The "inner life of the soul" is not immutable and can and will change with circumstances and experiences. Losing my mother changed my life forever down to my very soul. My life would be very different now if DH and I hadn't both saved a lot and invested wisely to afford us our current lifestyle. But one of the biggest fundamental changes in who we are can come from people who are our 'mentors' or 'spiritual advisers' or 'teachers' exposure to whom can be impacted by our ability to pay or make money.

A friend informed me that her friend's young son was dying of leukemia. Do you know what she said to me? "Well, at least they have lots of money. It will help them through their loss".

@JUDY GRAHAM - OMG

“The "inner life of the soul" is not immutable and can and will change with circumstances and experiences.” Of course it is changed— constantly, by external causes and by changes in one’s own thought processes. The fact that money cannot buy everything does not relieve us of of the responsibility to take care of ourselves and our loved ones to the best of our ability, to plan for our futures. That is quite different from what many of us are enumerating among the things money cannot buy.

Sas, one's intelligence is not static. You can certainly boost your IQ, which is part of your intelligence. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7709590/

You can also improve your sense of humor. You can google that--lots of information on how to. Your wealthy bosses probably just didn't desire to improve their senses of humor. That's the difference. There are numerous articles that explain how people with autism, for example, can work on their senses of humor.

Tina Marie, regarding love and happiness, the desire to change has to be there. Money doesn't automatically buy love and happiness. Rather, it allows for more resources so that, if one wanted either or both, they had more access to it. Money can buy you greater access to a bigger pool of potential partners, thus increasing your odds of finding a suitable one that will lead to a loving partnership.

There are ongoing studies about the baseline income for "happiness," but they are a bit sketchy in what they're measuring. The original study was conducted around 2010, and it has since been mostly debunked. Sure, there are plenty of miserable billionaires out there, but if they wanted to build more happiness into their lives, they have access to better resources to do so, and not just in materialistic ways. They have time to pursue happiness because of their wealth.

Kswl, I don't believe that serendipity comes into play in finding a life partner. But my original point is that if one wants to find a life partner, the more resources one has, the greater their chances of finding a good match.

Genetics plays a role in about 20% of your health, and epigenetics is almost entirely dictated by access to resources.

That inner life of the soul, which accounts for the source of many things on people’s lists here, is not for sale. It is innate and it is up to each one of us to find it and nurture it and use it, not only for ourselves but that we might be that source of inspiration and growth, happiness, contentment and relationship for others. -- Agreed! And what do you need for this to occur? Resources, especially time, which is a luxury. But money... can buy you that luxury.

I’m sorry Feathers, but i just cant agree.

I’m not asking you to, Tina Marie. No need to apologize for disagreeing. 😊

I think what people get wrong are the extremes.

Of course being poor is stressful and limits one's choices and ability to care for their family. So, in that sense, money can buy happiness. But only to the point that it allows some moderate level of comfort and security. And that is important.

I always think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Until the basics are taken care of, you have little chance of developing much else in life. I would imagine we would all agree on this.

Beyond that, though money has less and less to do with happiness and satisfaction.

So I look at it as, a minimum amount of money allows people to develop a full life; in that sense and only in that sense does money buy happiness. And I don't see how accumulating wealth has much to do at all with many other things listed.

PS

The leukemia example is shocking. But how often do health issues lead to bankruptcy, foreclosure etc. I think medical bills are still the number one cause of personal BKs.

I live on quite a limited income that has lately become much more limited as prices go up and up, especially health insurance. Whilewhat I have is enough for me needs, I know very clearly that even just a little more money to draw on would make my life easier in so many ways. It would be wonderful not to worry about my 16 year old car needing major work or a set of tires. Or deciding to stay with socks that have seen better days rather than buy new, warmer ones. Or not going somewhere because I don't want to use the gas. Or wearing clothing that looked good on me 10/15 years ago but no longer looks right on an 82 year old. Or having to weigh costs when I buy birthday/Christmas presents for my grandchildren. And worse, dreading rather than enjoying when it's time to buy those gifts for my 2 sisters' 4 grandchildren. (My sisters and I are close, the children are still very young and stopping the gifting is out of the question) And every winter I dread even more keeping the house too cold for this old woman because I just can't afford to keep it comfortable.

I also would like to be able to give more to those in real need through charities.

And yet, I know full well that I am so much better off than far too many. I can still afford to buy decent food. And my health is good enough that I grow and put up most of the vegetables I eat. But still... it means that money is always, always on my mind.

Jesus

Laceyvail, I am sorry for your worries. I must say your attitude is amazing and the fact that you think of others instead of just spending on yourself. i know there must be many in the same position with today’s rising costs.

@sheeisback, you are so right!!

Feathers, I too believe your premise is invalid. There are too many things in life that I know, from personal experience, the money cannot buy to share your point of view. Money is certianly the answer to the basic beeds of life and a decent standard of living, but just for one more example, ill gotten gain that allows one to live to a higher standard cannot buy respite from the guilt of stealing or conning people in scams to make a living, and it cannot buy away the shame of having committed those acts. And if a flippant answer to that is— what if those people feel no guilt or shame? Then my response would be to see my list…. money cannot buy character.

It's always nice to have a courteous contrarian on these threads to help develop ideas and to make one take a closer look at what one thinks so thank you feathers.

I agree with Mtn's viewpoint that some money is necessary for basics as shown by Maslow.

I cannot stop myself from mentioning my take on the many trendy billionnaires in the news who are mean, miserable, stupid, unloving, discontented examples of humanity. I don't think their money will ever make them happy. Of course there are very wealthy people who are smart, thoughtful, careful, loving, like Dolly may she RIP.

Respect.

Health.

More time.

Laceyvail, I am right there with you-16 year-old car, grandkids, etc. It isn't much consolation, though, to know that. All I can do is try to live in the moment rather than future worries or past sadnesses. I also don't read posts anymore that focus on what others are doing/buying.

Kswl, I believe you're missing a key component of my original explanation (my second post):

Money can buy resources to improve every characteristic on everyone's list above, but what needs to accompany it is agency.

Your example is a non sequitur--con artists and scammers have no desire to change. So, of course, money will never buy them character.

My original intention in joining this discussion was to note that there's much more complexity to the question of what money cannot buy. But I understand that wasn't the intent of the thread, or the intentions of those who participated in it. Obviously, I have the luxury of time to engage in this thread--I'm privileged to have resources and "enough" in my life. But I work with a community that definitely does not, and so I'm particularly sensitive to my privilege. The question would be flippant to them. In fact, I have a question about window coverings, but I'll probably skip it for now. I'd feel like a hypocrite, otherwise!

“But I understand that wasn't the intent of the thread, or the intentions of those who participated in it.”

Bolding mine.

My intention was to just answer the question with what came to my mind first. If there was anything else to it, I guess I missed whatever it was.

My intention was to just answer the question with what came to my mind first. If there was anything else to it, I guess I missed whatever it was.

There wasn't :)

With respect Feathers, you have moved the target again to monetize certain aspects of things while ignoring others entirely. Let us just say that the desire to be a different person, the motivation to be a better person, and the will to follow through on either cannot be purchased with money, therapy, leisure time or electroshock treatments. :)

“I'm particularly sensitive to my privilege. The question would be flippant to them. In fact, I have a question about window coverings, but I'll probably skip it for now”

@Feathers11 I think both can be true.

Awareness and acknowledgement of privilege are often lacking in society today. It would be a fallacy if we thought money doesn’t make a difference in peoples lives. We see how even a saall amount can improve outcomes in the experiments happening with basic income checks.

I also think it’s fair to assume that if you use money to gain human relationships like love, respect, friends etc. that it is not an unrealistic possibility that the intentions of both sides of the equation are influenced by money and not necessarily in an altruistic way.

With respect Feathers, you have moved the target again to monetize certain aspects of things while ignoring others entirely. Let us just say that the desire to be a different person, the motivation to be a better person, and the will to follow through on either cannot be purchased with money, therapy, leisure time or electroshock treatments. :)

My intention was to encourage people to consider that they have agency to change their lives. In all of those easy-to-answer lists, if you find you're not comfortable with who you are, you can change. And money makes it easier. A LOT easier. I stated that in my second post. Kswl. I have not moved that target. You kept moving the target with your examples for me to answer.

Well then I guess I do not understand your intent. By wanting to ”encourage people to consider that they have agency to change their lives” — what makes you think the respondents here do not know that they have agency to change their lives? “In all of those easy-to-answer lists, if you find you're not comfortable with who you are, you can change.” So am I to understand that you think people wrote things on their lists that they believe are lacking in their own lives?

If so I find that a very odd reading. Looking back at the responses I see that almost all of them enumerate qualities of character and aspects of life that are cherished because they have experienced and appreciated all these themselves. Love, respect, kindness, common sense, loyalty, trust, empathy, grace…..to me these answers are personal lists of those intangibles that make life more fulfilling. I don’t read any of these as a sour grapes recitation of “ things I wish I had in my life if only I had the personal agency to change it and the money to buy it” (or the therapist, personal chef, dating service or leisure time to make it easier for me to obtain it).

The original question assumes people have inherent qualities and cannot improve. I believe we can if we want to. And if we have money, we have access to resources to help us improve in those areas. That’s all.

The original question assumes people have inherent qualities and cannot improve. I believe we can if we want to. And if we have money, we have access to resources to help us improve in those areas. That’s all.

Here is the original, can you please point out where that assumption is? To me all it says is that the listed qualities cannot be purchased with money. I do not think it says that they cannot be acquired at all or that people cannot improve.

Three Things Money Can’t Buy

Taste, manners and character. Please, add to this list!

While I responded earlier with a personal history, I want to add some other comments.

Money can buy an interior decorator to do your house or someone to choose your clothes if you don't have personal taste. Money can buy classes in formal manners.

But money can never buy integrity, kindness, or character. You can't fake any of those and you can't pay anyone to teach them to you.

TIME!!!

Lucille and Lacey, you don’t know anyone who’s turned their life around? So, a child who’s raised in poverty with drug-addicted parents, who had to cheat and steal to survive, can never develop those qualities? I witness character-building in young adults every day. People can and do change. This is the agency we have as human beings.

Lucille and Lacey, you don’t know anyone who’s turned their life around? So, a child who’s raised in poverty with drug-addicted parents, who had to cheat and steal to survive, can never develop those qualities? I witness character-building in young adults every day. People can and do change. This is the agency we have as human beings.

Feathers, your comment is a complete non sequitor and red herring. It has nothing to do with the subject, whether one can or cannot purchase certain listed qualities with money. No one has said people can't change.

@Feathers11 I commend you on the work you’ve done to improve your life and hope this conversation doesn’t take away any of that. I don’t think anyone here would want to rob you of that experience and the success you’ve had.

Like I said before, both things can be true.

You’re the example of how money facilitates one’s ability to change because you - with or without the funds - had that drive and desire. That came from inside you.

A slight right turn from the conversation…I have known both rich and poor people for whom money is both the source of their problems and has no value.

So whether or was the rich one buying expensive trophies that got them into society or the middle class one stacking boxes from QVC they never opened or the one who had to sell their house in retirement and rent because of too much frivolous buying of random junk. The mechanics of their situations were identical.

All of these people had money and they all suffered the same fate that late in life either their choices were constrained or their heirs were surprised because they didn’t want to change themselves. No ount of money bought what might have made a difference in who they were.

There was no original question though. I asked people to contribute things that in their book money cannot buy. If anyone took my statement and invitation as an assumption that people have innate qualities that cannot be changed I am sorry I gave that impression as I certainly do not believe it. Aristotle’s theory of the soul as an unscribed tablet (later called tabula rasa) and the empirical theory of knowledge are the bedrock of my personal philosophy.

adding, when I said money cannot buy character I did not mean to imply that people cannot reshape their character with intention, purpose and— in my personal opinion, prayer and the grace that come from a loving God’s presence in my life. Perhaps if I said that money cannot confer these things that would make my meaning clearer? The fact of having means alone (whether earned or inherited) does not automatically confer the benefit of any evolved consciousness, for lack of a better term. Not trying to be pretentious here, just to explain. I can see where the word character could be read in a different context and I apologize for any misunderstanding.….. if there were a truce emoji I would be waving it!!!

Money can never buy good mental health. For those unlucky souls with deep depression, bipolar, schizophrenia and so many other unfortunate mental health issues. Morality and self and social awareness.

“@Feathers11 I commend you on the work you’ve done to improve your life and hope this conversation doesn’t take away any of that. I don’t think anyone here would want to rob you of that experience and the success you’ve had.”

Thank you, 1929Spanish, but I’ve not had a particularly challenging life. I’ve had access to ample resources. I’m not referring to myself in my comments, but to people without resources for whom those resources (money being the most fundamental to start) would make a world of difference if they had the desire to build these traits.