Male patient said, "Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the cond*m never broke. How is it possible?"

The doctor replied, "Let me tell you a story. There once was a hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took his umbrella instead of his gun when he went out. A lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the lion, the hunter used the umbrella like a gun, shot the lion and it died!"

Male patient said, "Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the lion.

The doctor replied, "Good! You understood the story. Next patient, please."

Me: How do I set the washing machine?

Her: What are you washing?

Me: A t-shirt

Her: What does it say on the t-shirt?

Me: Pink Floyd.

tj