I have finished oak in gray a few times. There are some methods that work really nice. Its a little complicated to explain, but would be happy to point you in the right direction.

Jeff
Biggstudios@gmail.com

that would be very helpful - thank you!

Sherwin Williams "weathered gray" stain, then lightly back brush with a dark walnut stain and leave some of the darker stain in the cracks. I did this on a reloading bench I built. I was happy with results.

thank you! i think we may want a lighter grey - that sounds like it might be on the darker side?

I would stay away from the use of lye. Yes it will color the wood, but if not neutralized correctly it can damage items near or on the wood, long after it's dried, even the finish.

ok, thank you both for the advice!

You first have to start with white oak floors. Red oak will just be pinky undertoned. Remenber the whitewashed pink wood furniture from the 80's? You're more likely to end up with that than you are the ''perfect'' gray. Especially since it requires someone with some decent experience to even start this project. Youd end up nearer where you want to be by buying prefinished and replacing what you have.

Good advice given. I would also suggest looking at Rubio Monocoat. They have about a dozen gray finishes available that all look great over White Oak.