She might be back in the near future so I would leave her room for her until she has her own home, and is supporting herself.

If possible ask her to move stuff to the basement before she leaves for college. There is a good chance she won't live with you anymore once she graduates.

I suggest leaving her pictures on the walls and her bedding and furniture the same. It will still feel like her bedroom to her when she comes home for holiday. Give her the opportunity to box her stuff up and move to basement or storage and if she chooses not to by the time she leaves then do it yourself. That way you are giving her the control to do it if she chooses.

lol! She's a freshman? felli56, you are several years away from being a true "empty-nester"!
Unless you live far away from her chosen school, think of it more like she is off at summer camp. Chances are she will come home every few weeks for some of mom's loving and home cooking!

Help her organize what she needs to take with her. Help her get it there and set up. Give her lots of love and encouragement, and then get in the car and ball your eyes out.

Certainly some items can be put into storage in the closet or basement. But(!) don't make too many changes early on. Kids need to feel like they are still wanted and welcome; and that there room is always there. Healthiest way to help kids (and their parents) through any transition, work together, a little at a time, when the schedule allows, and when they are ready. Do it together, laugh, hope, dream, reminisce, enjoy!!!

Before you know it, 4 (or 5) years will have passed, you'll be moving 1/2 an apartment's worth of stuff back home.

Hugs to you feli!!! She'll do fine. And so will you!

College kids don't always think they are vacating their rooms forever when they go off as freshmen.

If you can get her to donate her extras before she leaves, great. If not, she may want to do it during the winter break after she has rested up.

If used for storage, the stored items should be removed before she comes home for vacations. The exercise barre could be installed where *she* chooses.

Ikea sells day beds that have very good storage and they can make the room feel more like a den when placed along wall and pillows added. They also sell very small sectionals that pull out to a double bed. Murphy beds are another alternative if a lot of floor space is required and add bookcase with cupboards and if space allows a bench seat with storage. She will probably embrace the change, ask what style she would like and colors and include some of her favorite items/pictures, etc. She'll still feel that the room belongs to her.
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I feel for you because I was there last year. I think you have to strike a balance between your needs and hers. Her bedroom shouldn't become a shrine but there should still be room for her bed. I couldn't believe how much stuff my kids left behind for me to sort thru. Yes it is okay to sort thru their junk that they have willingly left behind!

I want to thank everyone who gave me ideas and advice; they were all great! This is the first time I've done anything like this. My hope is that she will come home, often. She's my only one and I will always welcome her visit -- unless of course I'm out doing my mom without a kid thing ;-). I've already done the pre-run "ball my eyes out". In three weeks, it will be an even longer one. But I have some really good Ideas to work with. Thank you!!

feli...How far away is she going???

Not to. It's less than 90 minutes (depends on traffic and my foot).

Sounds like you are best friends and your feelings are totally natural....it shows how much you love her.

Sending some hugs because I remember sending my "only" off to college. It's hard. Really hard. She will be home more than you think, mine was home every other weekend or so, that first year. So whatever you do in there, just make sure there is room for her - because she will be missing you almost as much as you will be missing her.

Ah!! That changes everything! Ninety minutes and less, is definitely home every 1, 2 or 3 weeks!! And close enough to meet in the middle for dinner, too!

Enjoy your new found (clean house and) quiet!!

She is all that. She and I are close and she's my biggest achievement and am so proud of her. We did talk about her room and she didn't want it to change so much, that it would lose who she is. So I'll keep in close to "her" as possible. Minus the Bratz and Barbie dolls! She'll be happy to know that I'll actually use the barre; I tend to be allergic to any form of exercise. Once the room is all done, I will post it. I think you all deserve to see it :-).

You've done good, Mom!!!!

When I married and moved to India, I left most of my winter clothes in a suitcase for when I came for holidays. Mumbai is not a sweater place! Two year later I made my first visit home, only to find my mother had given it away. "Well, I thought you wouldn't come back," she said. I made a fast visit to Oxfam to kit myself and my little girl with warm clothes, and before I left, donated them back to Oxfam, keeping only what we needed for the journey. I never kept anything with my mother again.
Remembering how lost I felt, I have kept my children's things for as long as they wanted, only asking them to throw out what they didn't want stored. We do an annual review. Over 20 years the possessions have dwindled, till now there is just enough for an overnight stay ... a toe-hold in Mother's home.
It is important that children feel that they can return whenever they need to. I must stress the need - once you are earning enough to be independent, you should BE independent.
Earning children should contribute to the family coffers as long as they continue to live at home. I had to point this out to my maid, who had three hulking sons living at home and spending every penny they earned on themselves. Now they give her one-third, save one-third, and the remainder is pocket money. But it took some very straight talking to make her see that she was killing herself with work to support children who should have been supporting her!

I'm still in the process of updating my daughter's space and when she returned home for the long Labor Day weekend and she went through the items that she wanted to keep. The remainder were donated or trashed. I didn't think one child could have so many toys, books and clothes. I opened up boxes of her stuff that I just couldn't give away. Her first's .. clothes, books, toys, etc. She refuses to give up the large toy cars - so I'm finding a way to incorporate them into her room without it looking too juvenile. Thank you janbhan. I agree with you on the importance of letting your children know that they can return whenever they need to, but I also want her to be as financially responsible as she can be, until she finds her own place to call home. It will take me another month or so to get her room to the way she would like it and I promise to post pictures of the updated room! p.s. it was so good to have her home for four days!!

Sounds like everything is going well! YAY for you!!!

My niece is 28, still lives at home, (not with me, though) and has kept ALL her stuffed toys. I sneeze whenever i see them, and one day made the housekeeper wash them in the washing machine. I liked them dirty! she said and threw a tantrum. I'm glad your daughter was able to give away so much. How many large toy cars are there, and how big are they? Could they be grouped inside an acrylic box, maybe become a coffee table? look forward to seeing the update pictures.

One nice thing about children going to college - especially if it is away - is that you get into the no kids at home system gradually. And most of them do eventually see the wisdom of keeping only a few things... they need the space for all the new stuff!
I should tell you that I manage the repairs and maintenance for my my niece's home, and it is her daughter that had the stuffed toys. My niece works full-time and travels a lot, but somebody has to tell the housekeeping staff what to do. On this occasion it was a serious mite infestation that prompted washing the soft toys, which I thought were part of the problem; she took some of them to bed with her every night!