How about an Ipod? Turn up your fav music just loud enough to drown out the yakking.

I agree about the music, and could you put up a physical barrier like trellised plants? Maureen

You don't even need an iPod, just turn on a radio while you're working in the garden. If they need to make noise all day and evening, they can't say a think about you doing the same thing.

Sue

Sound damping headphones or shooting range headphones. Silence is yours again.

I doubt they understand your need for privacy. Perhaps you might consider talking to them tactfully and plainly. But understand that it may be hard for them to understand. Sounds like they enjoy one another and probably you as well.

This is a very sensitive issue. I used to live in a townhouse where I shared each side of my home with neighbors, both less than 20 feet away. I love the idea of using music to drown out the noise, but if that doesn't work, try befriending them. At some point soon, you can communicate the importance of your gardening time. Drop a reeeealy big hint that you garden for relaxation, peace and quiet time. Good Luck. I hope everything works out.

Sorry you are so uncomfortable in your own home. I agree with macmex. A tactful talk just might work. They apparently are very social creatures. Weigh the outcome. What's the worst that can happen? They become upset and never speak to you again? They make more noise than ever just to be obstinate? Or they respect your privacy like your old neighbor did. Hard to tell. Is there a way you can arrange your patio swing so that your back is to them?

aaaaaa_gardner

I think the idea of putting up a trellis or a tall fence for visual privacy is a good one. You could plant morning glories, moonflowers, or other climbing vines in containers to make a screen. Your neighbors might enjoy the view from their side, too.

And if you prefer silence while working with and enjoying your plants (which is a kind of privacy, too), you could use earplugs or maybe a small pocket radio/DVD player with headphones so you can hear what you want to hear!

If you can't see or hear your neighbors, it will probably relieve a lot of stress for you. I don't think I'd like constantly noisy or visible neighbors either. Some of us need more privacy than others, quiet time to think and enjoy life!

I agree with anney, and I'm sorry you're experiencing this. This is a prime example of why I so strongly believe we need to practice negative population growth. We have far too many people in the world and in this country, which is exactly why housing is so expensive (along with everything else) and so many of us are stuck living in homes with little or no land under them (thus, neighbors packed in on top of us like sardines).

I'm betting you're like me: playing a radio won't do it for you because the peace and quiet is what you're after. I like my time in my garden to be serene, with only the sounds of birds and wind chimes. Unfortunately, we have what is now quite a busy road right behind our property (roads around 3 sides of us, in fact), and the traffic gets worse all the time since they made what was once a private, gravel drive into a major artery to new roads that did not even exist when we bought the place.

I hope you can explain to your new neighbors and that they will be understanding. We've had noisy, obnoxious, and even abusive neighbors in the past, and there is little that is worse.

I'll be keeping good thoughts that you can find a home with more privacy soon. Best wishes!

I had this same situation with my last neighbors in a duplex apartment. We lived in peaceful woods and were used to quiet, and they were from the city and SO loud, ALL the time, it drove us NUTS. Honking their cars when they pulled in, hollering at their kids and dog, and they would blast their music, too, which I hated. It was SO HARD to live next to them after more than 10 years of being used to just hearing just the birds chirping and occasional small noises from neighbors!

It sounds like you're like me and hate any kind of conflict. What I would do is this...phrase it as a positive request that doesn't make them out to be bad guys, but just asks a favor. Say "You know, I like to garden for a couple of hours every day, it's like my meditation and peaceful time when I relax. When I do it, it's the best thing ever to have privacy and quiet around me, so I can really relax into it. Is there a time of day that would work well for you where I could have some privacy to do this? I know it's your yard too, so I don't want to impose, but it would mean a lot to me if we could work out a couple of hours a day when I could have the yard to myself for my daily unwinding time."

They won't get hints, and obviously they're not meditative types themselves...but if you phrase it this way I bet they'd understand where you're coming from. If they don't seem to get the importance of it to you, you can casually mention the fact that you've been doing it at these evening hours. Maybe they'll feel some sympathy.

I know how hard it can be to live like this. We ended up moving and buying a house too, which was something we wanted to do anyway. They definitely "helped" us motivate to move! Good luck carving out some peace for yourself into this situation. I totally empathize, I hope you can work out a good daytime slot! I'm crossing my fingers for you that it all goes well.

I wholeheartedly agree that talking is your best solution. They have an infant, I am absolutely sure they understand the important of peace an quiet for awhile. But at the same time since they have an infant I bet scheduling a time when they don't go outside would be hard for them. I think asking them to be a little more quiet when you are outside would be a good solution.

And if that doesn't work and you have a mischievous side, just sit outside and listen to their conversations until you find out something embarrassing about them. Then ask them about it in a polite way, I am sure they would talk inside after they realize their "private" conversations aren't that private.

Great question. I love gardening at night, but that's because I have really bad allergies and can't afford to get a bee sting when they're all out during the day. As far as the social thing goes, I'd recommend not getting into a discussion about it, and just using some avoidance shields. In other words, sunglasses every time you go out when they're out there, a hat that shades your eyes, and a walkman/ipod.

Once your shields are armed, pretend like they do not exist. And until they get the hint, I'd stop doing favors for them. They sure as hell don't seem to be doing you any favors. It sounds to me like the only reason they speak nicely to you is because they want something from you-- otherwise they show zero respect for your privacy. In fact they seem to be trying to invade your privacy across the board. Don't give them anything, don't do them favors, just plain leave them alone and do not answer the door when they come to your house. They'll wonder what's wrong and it might give them a moment of pause, "hey, we've been freeloading".

Unfortunately, your neighbors have every right to be outside with you. As long as their noise is confined to daytime hours, there isn't much you can do. That's the nature of townhouses. They're not for the antisocial.

I totally agree with city tomato...I just don't get how you think the neighbors need to adjust their schedule to suit you. I frankly would be embarassed to even talk to them about it...If you want to stay inside while they are outside, that's one thing but to expect them not to come outside just because you are gardening or enjoying is laughable...really...and as was stated earlier...that's the nature of living in an apartment or towhhome...you just gotta live with all your neighbors...My husband says....If you can't pee off your back porch without someone complaining, then you next door neighbor is too close...

While city_tomato is correct, I really agree with the others that said to speak with them and see if there is a time that would work for you both. But because there really is nothing you can do to ensure that you have your peace and quiet, you need to make sure that you do it tactfully, and don't get upset if they are sometimes out there when it is your time to relax in the garden.

from the way i read the OP, it has never been directly discussed with them. they DO have the right to tell you pound sand though, you cannot ask that they stop denying you your quirks as then you deny them theirs.

good noise cancelling ear phones should do the trick until you can move. and next tiem find a place that has more room between you and the neighbor if privacy and quiet are so important.

i don't mean this to sound rude, but truthfully i think you are blowing it out of proportion. your old neighbor was jsut as antisocial and private as you are, and this worked for both of you. the new neighbors, god forbid, seem to like to spend time outdoors whether you are there or not.

Sounds like the old neighbor spoiled you... and you need to adjust to the new family.

They are entitled to spend time outdoors as they see fit. As are you - no need to run inside when they come out as if you are frightened of them!
And as the infant grows, he/she will probably be outdoors most of the nice days (I know mine were). And toddlers are noisy! Put a playset out there, add another kid.... what will you do then?

I'd say you gotta get used to them! That is townhouse living....

I don't think wanting some time for peace and quiet is being antisocial, and I understand your desire for privacy. I'm the same way. I bought my house partly because it was on a cul-de-sac and backed to greenbelt. Then they built a whole row of duplexes a couple feet from my back fence, on a low hill so the neighbors can come out and look right down into my yard and into my windows from a couple feet away. They have a bunch of screaming kids, and when I'm out trying to enjoy my garden, they come out and stare at me and make rude, obscene comments.

So I fully understand where you're coming from, and I don't think it's bizarre of you at all to want some peace and quiet.

Perhaps, next time they ask a favor, before you agree, talk to them about it. Tell them that you enjoy having a couple hours of peace and privacy to work in your garden, and what time would work for them.

Visual and sonic screens might work well, too.

People wonder why a single person like me wouldn't just buy a condo or townhouse instead of a detached, single-family dwelling. Well, that's why!

Good luck.