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Chelsea (rant)

15 years ago

May as well get the rage out. Again, this annual extravaganza of excess is upon us and again, I am gritting my teeth at the frequently expressed opinion, that this jamboree represents the best in horticulture. What utter bollocks. What Chelsea represents is a triumph of style over substance which has nothing, nothing at all, to do with horticulture. Any idiot could compose a show garden if they had unlimited budgets and all they had to actually do is to place plants around as though it was all a stage setting. Plants which are grown by someone else (who never get credit for their efforts) and are merely plonked in position. Many of these plants would not grow together. Many of them are artificially forced. They are primped and plumped to create a snapshot of a artfificial moment in time. This is NOT gardening.

Last year, Andreageorgia chipped in with a long socio-cultural exposition detailing why Chelsea matters. I remain unconvinced and appalled by the excess, the ridiculous grovelling to 'high-society' (although, in reality, it is generally Z-list escapees from third class reality shows and fading media types who are more than happy to whore about in front of a camera). Nope, Chelsea is all about money, posing, performance, class, snobbishness with the same old tired faces wheeled out ad nauseum, to waffle endlessly about the latest fashionable plants/theme/faces. Bah! tedious, obscenely expensive garbage. I will be spending the time at my allotment in much the same way as I did to escape the sodding Royal Wedding.

Hey, call it sour grapes if you like but I actually do design REAL gardens for a living - gardens which have to fit in a designted space, fulfill customers demands and keep to minuscule budgets by creating gardens which are not merely stage sets but function as evolving, living artefacts for the long-term pleasures of my clients. THIS takes some skill - not the mere selection of a few perfect plants to last for 5 days. Chelsea is an anachronism - decadent, worthless preening, sponsored by some of the same corporations which are responsible for the massive economic failures of the last few years (Stand up, the likes of Merrill Lynch)

Comments (25)

  • 15 years ago

    Feel better now?

    :-)))))))
    Susan

  • 15 years ago

    True, in that Chelsea is not about real gardens and the whole thing is expensive with fully grown trees imported from Germany, for example. However, I enjoyed it enormously the only time I went. I looked at it as I look at any show or exhibition in a museum or gallery and enjoyed it more than I do some of the conceptual art shows we are plagued with nowadays. Much more. To see pictures painted with plants, I can imagine nothing better. Some show gardens were outrageous but at least my husband and I could laugh at them and discuss them and feel smug that we would not have to live with that kind of garden. Other gardens were delightful and even gave some planting ideas although our climate is so different that we can't copy anything straight off. But an interesting combination of plants may give you an idea of what can be done.

    We spent seven hours of one of the nicest outings we've ever had at Chelsea. The ambience was very nice, very civilized, the organisation was faultless, no queuing anywhere except to the posh restaurant, not even to the lavs. No visitors were pushing to see better, people in wheelchairs could see as much as everybody else. There was no dress code, we sat on a grassy but slightly muddy slope drinking Pimms surrounded by people in jeans, suits, flowery dresses or cut offs. My husband took a power nap behind a hedge and he was not the only one. Posh it wasn't although we went on a members' day. The weather was perfect which certainly helped make this such a lovely experience for a Swede starved for gardening in May.

  • 15 years ago

    You may well be right: I've certainly registered the artificiality of the displays of some of the garden shows I've been to (I don't see a lot of them). But, and I'm not being sarcastic here, I wouldn't mind at all going and seeing what it's like and forming my own judgment. And see Great Britain's gardens and nurseries, which I suspect truly are the center of the horticultural universe. Italy could be the garden of the world, but instead we're a sort of backwater in terms of availability of cultivars and general level of garden culture.
    For the rest, keep up the good work. I love my own garden, and I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the design work you do. I'm all for garden glory, and not at all keen about celebrity gloss.
    Melissa

  • 15 years ago

    I guess I would liken it to going to a dog show; it's fun to see the pampered and highly groomed poodles, but I'll take my working Border Collie any day!

    I'm with Melissa, would love to see the "regular" gardens of Great Britain!

  • 15 years ago

    Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Personally, I look forward to Chelsea and Hampton Court every year and cut down on spending for other things so that I can afford to go. Yes, too much money is spent on the show gardens and show gardens are just that, completely unrealistic. Every leaf and bloom is perfection and everything in flower at once. But, as Mariannese says, there are lots of ideas and planting combinations to take away. As for the floral marquees, the displays are absolutely stunning and lift the spirits: especially the roses! The "celebrities" are only there on the VIP day before the show opens. As far as I have noticed, most people attending just seem to be keen gardeners and plant lovers.

  • 15 years ago

    I would love to actually go someday so I'd have the opportunity to complain about it myself. ;^)

    If you think of it more like flower arrangement, floristry, than like gardening, those shows make (a little) sense.

  • 15 years ago

    I went to the Chelsea last year. Loved it!

    {{gwi:262410}}

  • 15 years ago

    I never really thought of lupines as obscene before. . . . I stand corrected.

    Kay

  • 15 years ago

    Well, it IS a SHOW after all. They wouldn't get much attendance if they had bugs and weeds everywhere and showed everyone grubbing around on their hands and knees, lol.

  • 15 years ago

    I hear ya, Suzy, but if frogview's photo is typical, I'd love to go. That's really cool! (Kay's opinion notwithstanding.) I know that's how you make your living, and maybe that's why it's tedious for you, but I hardly ever get to see gardens and plants other than my own, so this sounds like it would be similar to a trip to Disney World in the sense of being over the top. I know, I know, definitely not a selling point. Reminds me of when DH and I went to Carlsbad Caverns. We got off the elevator practically alone, walked past the concession area and then through a wide opening into the cave. My first thought was "Crap! It looks like Disney's 'It's a Small World'! They've ruined it for me!!!" Well, I got over that pretty quick, because nature beats out Disney every time. It was awesome.

    Mariannese made it sound like a wonderful day.

    Sherry

    Here is a link that might be useful: If only sweat were irrigation...

  • 15 years ago

    Disney--the evil empire. No wonder I didn't care for the big garden show here--it reminded me of the Home of the Black Rat. Did you know that when they built Disneyworld, they scraped the bottoms of the lakes and brought in white sand to put on the bottoms so they'd be "pretty blue" instead of the lovely dark tannin-stained lake water natural to Florida? Goodbye, native flora and fauna. Hello ridiculously perfect landscaping (and the associated chemicals and overuse of drinking water on inappropriate shrubberies.) At least they let the character actors wear their own underwear now (really!) But I digrees.

    When I went to the big spring garden show in our area, I was expecting something for, well, gardeners. Instead it's a bunch of "artsy" displays--with a theme, no less--of perfect plants with perfect leaves. People flock in for a look, see what a garden "should" look like, then go home and complain when last year's leaves turn shabby and fall off a plant. Or when a leafcutter bee takes a bite.

    The plants that are for sale are cookie-cutter copies of the latest gardening fad, regardless of what will grow and do well in the area. Of course, if plants do too well, you won't want to swamp them out for next year's "great new" plant.

    Bah.

    I'll take the bugs and weeds, thank you.

  • 15 years ago

    campanula,

    If I ever visit your part of the world, I would love to have your list of gardens and places that are worth seeing.

    I've been content with seeing various pictures of Chelsea and I imagine if I did scrape up enough $ to go to the UK, I'd skip Chelsea as well. I've managed to avoid most theme parks in the US and plan to continue to do so ... But I do like to travel -

    So where would you have us to visit instead??

    Gean

  • 15 years ago

    well, Gean, we have this thing called the Yellow Book which lists many private gardens which open to the public on specific days.There are some stipulations to be included in this yellow book (although they supposedly list allotments, my plot would never qualify but no matter) the main thing is that they are real gardens, often managed by just the owner (but not always because some grand gardens and college gardens are listed). The best thing about these open gardens is the human scale, the imperfections which make us all feel virtuous (or less mortified)about our own and the genuine interest people have in showing and talking about their gardens. If you ever manage a UK visit, I would urge you to check this book out as well as the must-see gardens such as Wisley, Sissinghurst etc. For some years now, I have avoided reading glossy books with sumptuous photos as, far from giving me ideas, they make me feel slightly miserable at my failure to live up to these unreal expectations (of course, these photos are also just one perfect moment and never reveal the truth about real-life gardening - perfection is a mirage, not possible and probably not even desirable.
    There are some beautiful gardens such as Wisley which are truly aspirational - even though they are maintained by an army of volunteers and staff, the gardens exist in real time, beset with the same weather, pests and diseases as all of us. I thought my fruit was OK until I saw how it could be grown....that was both inspirational and exciting, to observe plant potential and feel such results were also within my grasp.....unlike the overblown and decidely shallow show gardens which dominate the Chelsea show (a caveat - the floral marquee is always marvellous). I have seen some of the show gardens from previous years - even after only a few months, a number of them of them are shown up as having poor workmanship and unworkable planting combinations - which is to be expected if a 'garden' is thrown up from scratch in 2 weeks.

  • 15 years ago

    This sounds crazy, but my favorite cooking show is an old BBC production called Two Fat Ladies. In one episode they visit a walled vegetable and fruit garden to get leeks or rasberries or something for some dish they're concocting.

    That garden is on my list to find - most probably because that's where I wish I shopped for leeks or rasberries for my own kitchen. And I'm definitely considering a motorcycle with a side car.

  • 15 years ago

    Awww, every time I think of Chelsea, I think of Peter Beales' son giving a talk at Ashdown Roses and talking about having to get ready for it. He was very down-to-earth and incredibly sweet and helpful. It is a lot of hard work getting ready for that show, apparently.

    I think it's very pretty, too. I like seeing the new roses! I've never been, so I mean pictures.

    But I don't think it should be taken as anything but a bit of pretty fun. It's completely unrealistic, of course!


    I went to a garden tour once where it was clear that some owners had just bought many of the plants and stuck them in the day before, lol. They'd never really grow where they had them :D

  • 15 years ago

    I think how many people, so many different opinions and if the interest to visit and see Chelsea (and new hybrids in one place) is still high, why not, as people do a lot of other much more earth-harmful activities than this.

    To Melissa: Actually I think Italy IS THE GARDEN OF EUROPE (I can't talk about the other world as I don't know it personally), maybe more secret and not so promoted, but the more delightful to us, visitors. Yes, with its almost perfect climate perhaps even more could have been done, but I've treasured every moment I've ever spent there. Believe, gardening in Central Europe can be much less rewarding.
    Jana

  • 15 years ago

    Ulf Nordfjell's garden a Tribute to Linnaeus that won a gold medal in 2007 was transplanted to the Gothenburg Botanical Garden after the show and looks just as good there after four years. But it was a very Swedish garden so the plants came home to their own soil and climate. I had a chuckle over a comment by a British garden columnist that Nordfjell's spruce hedge was a modern feature. It is such a traditional wind break that it went out of fashion here 50 years ago. There is one from 1936 on my block, probably one of the last in existence.

    Wisley is educational and inspirational but it is not beautiful. The overall design is dull. The elements don't hang together at all. I was surprised that even Penelope Hobhouse's garden there was so uninteresting, as I admire her books. I felt like a German lady on a garden tour I guided for the German Rose Society in the south of Sweden. We visited a large country garden full of roses but her verdict was "Beautiful roses but not a beautiful garden".

    I don't think design was a major question at Wisley, it has a different purpose. I enjoyed the visit to Wisley and I learnt a lot about staking plants from the long border, not that we need to stake plants much. Our delphiniums are not overfed and we have little wind in summer so generally manage without staking. The trial fields were a revelation and I made notes frantically. That year delphiniums and sweet peas happened to be on trial, two of my favourite plants.

  • 15 years ago

    Speaking as someone who will be visiting Sissinghurst, Wisley and a few other famous British gardens between June 20 and 24, I hope that the heat generated by Campanula's rant, plus the unusually hot dry weather in UK lately, won't finish off all the roses I want to see.

    So please, Campanula, think cool and cloudy thoughts. I do love your rants, though.

    Carol

  • 15 years ago

    Here's a link to scads of Chelsea-related articles, each of which tends to validate Companula's point of view.

    If it's any consolation, Companula, the Philadelphia Flower Show (our own annual horticultural phantasmagoria) is almost -- but not quite -- as OTT as Chelsea.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Chelsea 2011

  • 15 years ago

    I think you take from the show what you want. I was only interested in seeing the new varieties of plants (including David Austin and Peter Beales)and vegetables. The creative factor of displaying it is incredible and should be admired.

    BTW, there wasn't a hotel room left in London due to the event. People came from all over the world. A plus for the UK economy.

  • 15 years ago

    ooh yes, Marianne, I went for the delph and sweet pea trial too. Do agree, the gardens, apart from the rock garden and, at certain times, the meadow, is not especially aesthetically beautiful (and some bits such as the roses are frightful) but, to see plants grown to their full potential, especially the fruit (the blueberries!!) and some gorgeous paeonies, is always inspiring. And, you must have seen the show garden removed to Wisley - horrid little rows of fescue, a mouldy canvas shade and blue (unbelievabley tatty) decking!!Plants which are happy (right place, right conditions) always look beautiful to me. One thing I have always liked about Penelope Hobhouse's garden is the use of purple toadflax - practically a weed but one which I use endlessly.....whereas the ubiquitous verbena bonariensis is just too, too dull. Horses for courses....and, as I am not going, I may choose to watch bits on IPlayer (where I can forward over the usual buffoons -Joe Bloody Swift and the mad Christine something or other from up north....die)

  • 15 years ago

    (applauds campanula)

    Each year our Botanical Garden does a Garden Tour. A few homes were very nice real homestyle gardens. The rest were obviously the work of professionals and the one home that had a 'rose garden' (10 roses in a circle and they all looked like they were up on thrones) had the 'staff' there from the company that tended the roses. While some of the stuff was amazing, I don't consider that gardening. It's like the new craze of having a professional company decorate your home for Christmas. Count me as unimpressed.

  • 15 years ago

    I haven't been to Chelsea but I've been to the Hampton Court flower show. I really enjoyed it and would like to know what you think of that one.

    Wisley is like a gardeners' Disneyland and Sissinghurst is so charming - both are favorites of mine too.

  • 15 years ago

    As an antidote to (and welcome respite from) the excesses of Chelsea, perhaps Companula will post photographs of several Companula-designed gardens.

  • 15 years ago

    Don't rant too hard Campanula; I just saw tonight that the annual Wichita Kansas Garden Show will be cancelled next year after 44 years of existence; declining attendance. I hope its not a trend.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Garden Musigns blog.