Great photos , Gypsy. Now I can strongly recommend you take them out before they totally die and get brittle and harder to remove.

Gypsy, you know those steps without railings are a tremendous hazard for falling that's why there is a building code everywhere relating to exterior steps.

Understand that spiraling is NOT a method of clipping, it is a method of training a young evergreen and it involves removal of some branches and wiring the others to grow out and around the leader stem.
You just can't do it with a mature specimen that , as you can plainly see, has all its side branches growing vertically.
A mature AV or cedar and some cypress has very little interior green growth. Expose the interior by cutting and you expose the interior to sun scald and attract fungus and other organisms that flock to an injured plant.

Please put these trees out of their misery, install those railings for everyones safety and then decide what to plant in their place.

Gypsy,
You were certainly not over stating the size and condition of the trees. OMG!
I totally agre with Dottie!
They look like leyland cypress by the way.
Cut them down. The sooner the better.
Then you can think about something much smaller for the front of your house. Make sure it won't get big.
You know you have to cut them down. Just do it.
Good Luck to you, you will feel better when it is done.

Thanks for y'alls advice - I know you are right. My concern is dealing with the stumps. My husband says he can get them down flush with the ground but I don't know. They might be leylands but they don't look like the ones I have. Probably right about the railings too but no one uses the front door (the porch was not even visible until about 2 weeks ago)except door-to-doors and believe me the house was built to really picky code 20 years ago. I know that topiary is not a clipping method but as you see I was so desperate. I do appreciate the shove in the right direction - I will follow your advice and quit worrying about it. I know these things are a disaster but I have attached a photo of one of my successes (actually - my pride and joy:) cause I think you might enjoy it. Love talking to you guys! Thanks again!

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My topiary has supports because we got hit by a mean tornado back in April and it toppled her. Here's a pic of my daughter on our deck - this is the entrance to the house! You can probably see one of my bottle trees beside her and the tip of my Eugenia topiary on the deck.

Gypsy, Halloween is coming and having little ones in costumes marching up and down that steep stairway with no rails..recipe for disaster,injury,lawsuit. Git'er done,girl.

Tell hubby to dig about 12-15in down all around the trees and put a chain around the bole and tug it out with a vehicle.
That's what we had to do when a couple of grey owl junipers(or was it cypress) decided to overgrow our front porch and they grew nearly 25' tall and 6' across or more.

If you want to have fun, get yourself a pair of nice skypencil hollies and train some of the branches(by wiring) to create loops instead of just growing vertically.
Looks really cool when covered with holiday lights.

Dig around the stump and then burn it out.