Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you

have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom

always told me it was the best. Now that I am in

my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a

month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white

blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started

to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally

started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to

another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my

new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative,

and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains

came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the

detectives who came by yesterday told me that the

DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my

attorney called and said that I was no longer

considered a suspect in the disappearance of my

husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough

without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once

again, for having a great product!

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.