If you're not getting much help up front, you should consider that it's not going to get any better throughout the process and you should think long and hard about how much communication you want with your builder and if you feel you'll get that from your referral. That said, I'm not terribly surprised they're not forthcoming with money details.

I think you can find general guidance online as to the rough cost per sq. foot in your area. People on this board might be able to help as well. There is a home plan site that gives rough numbers on cost to build per square foot by region for every house plan on the site. There are tools that cost money but www.eplans.com will give you a free rough number for each plan if you register which is free. There are ranges based on the "quality" of construction--are you doing 2x4 or 2x6 construction, what level of finishes are you going to choose etc. In our case it was a lot easier because we fell in love with a specific house that was built by the same person who designed it so we used his specs as a jumping off point. If you find a builder who's built something similar that's the best guesstimate you could find.

My recommendation is to start with that rough number and plan EVERY possible thing you want or you might EVER want in your new home plans. Submit it for a bid and ask for an itemized list. That way you can weigh the importance of all the "must haves" vs your "really wants" vs what they cost. I hope it goes without saying, but you should definitely get bids from multiple builders as well.

hope that helps! this is a long crazy roller coaster ride, but my ride is ALMOST over and it's been wonderful and the end product is worth the toil. best of luck!

I just want to add that it may be difficult for them to answer your budget questions. A larger home can be very cheap and a small one can be expensive... it depends on the materials you are choosing.

Are you trying to base your budget by the square footage or do you have the level of finish in mind? Also, do you already have your land or is that part of what you consider to be the budget for the house?

Perhaps after you get bids, you can go back and add/delete THEN finalize the plans.

Luckliy, part of the fun of building is researching your options and making sure your budget is in line with bids.

Also keep in mind that you have started with a Design/build firm. In general if they do the design they plan on building it but don't generally produce plans that can be priced so they don't talk cost until you figure that out. I don't know what your budget is but I would like to give you a few words of advice.

1. Don't sacrifice quality for size. Bigger is not
   better. Choose quality materials and focus on
   great mechanical systems, a well functioning floor
   plan and as high end finishes as you can afford.
2. Contrary to what you will read in this forum the
   bidding process is not a good or an accurate way to
   choose a GC. Tour former projects, speak with past
   clients and spend some time with the people who
   will be directly involved with your day to day
   decision making for your house. It is a well known
   fact in our industry that many GC's will low ball
   a project to get their foot in the door and then
   use change orders to get it done. The house can't
   be built for 50% less between contractors.
3. Be careful of talking in square foot prices. They
   are never a good measure of cost.

Good luck!!

Here was my not so scientific way of determining about how much house I should be looking at.

I drove around the city and found houses that had similar style and finishes. It didn't have to be the exact floorplan, just similar. For example...first floor master, vaults, balcony and covered decks had to be on my comparison homes.

Then I took the asking price-the land price in the neighborhood=home cost. Home cost divided by sf = sf costs per home.

I ended up w/ a range of about 115-150 per sf for the house only.

This let me know if I was looking at homes that were way, way out of my price range. It also made me feel a little bit in control. I knew if a builder quoted much more than that range for the same finishes then I would move on to somebody else.

In the end we paid $90.00 per square foot for a 2500 sf, 1 1/2 story, walkout basement, full brick home with hardwood everywhere but BR and baths.

Things we don't have that will drive up the cost trememdously.
1. Custom cabinets.
2. Tile baths. (My dh will do this later, he did our last house and it looked better than most pros)
3. Built-ins and custom trim work.

Thanks to everyone for all the good input. This is going to be a two story, 2300 sf colonial style house. Probably the only thing that I would consider "fancy" about the house is a small second story balcony off of the MBR. Nothing ornate on the inside. We are doing all of the paint ourselves, as well as installing plumbing fixtures, lighting, door knobs, etc. Stained concrete downstairs, carpet upstairs in the bedrooms. I'm in the Lufkin/Nacogdoches area in Texas. I put the info into building-cost.net and got about $190,000. I was looking to do it for under $170,000.