Oh, Pesky, so sorry to hear how bad things are with your FIL. And what an awful weekend overall, ugh. Those are the most difficult and agonizing things to go through and, at the time, seem like they will never end. I hope you're able to get some sleep. Don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this.

I know just what you mean about not wanting to be an adult sometimes.

I will keep you and yours in my thoughts, prayers, and positive energies.

Take care.

thoughts and prayers....

Sending up prayers for your FIL and family. I know what it's like to be a rock. Hang in there!

Prayers and positive energies from me too...

So sorry to hear about your FIL. I hope he is doing better today.

Wishing for a good recovery for your FIL and some major stress relief for you!

Oh, Pesky. Just keep breathing. You're gonna be fine and you can be the rock. We're never asked to do things we're not capable of, just remember that, even if we don't feel up to the calling.

Do what you can to take care of yourself. Buy a new CD for yourself, maybe a book on tape...something fun or inspirational. Stop for a cup of tea or a latte. Even just a 10 minute me-break can remind you of who you are, outside the context of the chaos.

Hang in there!

Gosh I'm sorry to hear all that. Do remember to take care of you also. Saying a prayer.

(((((pesky & fil & family & little cat spirit)))))

Please update us as you can/lean on us for a respite from rock-dom...

Hoping for a positive outcome for your family.

Oh, no! (((((Pesky and family))))) Sending prayers up for your FIL and for all of you. Please keep us posted!

Oh, pesky! You have been through enough already! Please do lean on us and I will send prayers and positive thoughts your way. Count on it. Let us know what is happening, OK?

(((hugs from California)))

Thank you so much everyone. We just heard from the docs...not good. Given his age, health condition and the length of time deprived of oxygen, there is definitely brain damage. The extent of which we don't know, but at this time the docs say his chances of recovery to pre-heart attack are minimal.

Not sure if this means neurologically or if it means his chance of survival or both. We're heading to the hospital shortly...just waiting on BIL.

I'm very worried about the whole life support thing. He's at a Catholic hospital and does not have a current DNR. My DH is opposed to a DNR, and I'm pretty sure his brother is too. His sister thinks he'd want a DNR, but is not sure. I know he told me years ago he was adamant about a DNR, but that means nothing at this time. I just pray that the end is quick, and not prolonged.

However, I am hopeful for a miracle, but being a pragmatist, must be prepared for reality.

Thanks everyone, your support is genuinely appreciated.

Best wishes and prayers to you and your family, Pesky.

I hope he doesn't suffer. If it's time for him to leave you, I hope he can be kept comfortable and peaceful until the time comes. (((Hugs))) and prayers go out to you and your family.

I'm so sorry P. How old is your FIL?

I know what it's like to be the rock in the family, but they don't realize that we also need a rock. :(

So we'll be your rock, okay? :)

Hang in there. And I agree, being an adult sucks sometimes.

Here's more Prayers and positive energy coming your way. I hope everything turns out ok. -- Lukki

Back home again. Well, I'm afraid news was bad. His EEG was flatlined, there is no brain activity. Tomorrow they'll back him off sedation and determine if he's breathing on his own or not. Then his kids will need to make the difficult decision.

SIL said that FIL had specifically stated he wanted DH & I to have power of attorney, so while he didn't have a notarized statement, we now have something to move on with. We'll likely petition to be named executors...and this week I'll have to do all the paperwork, etc. I've never had to do all this, so it'll be a crash course of sorts.

We're (the kids & spouses only) are going to the house tomorrow to get it secured till we can get in and finalize everything. FIL was a hoarder...so it'll be a nightmare.

More of the same from me, sometimes we get more than we really want to deal with but we plug along. Best wishes and thoughts to you and your family. What will be will be!

Pesky, my heart goes out to you and yours. I am so sorry. This life stuff isn't for the faint of heart. Know I am thinking of you tonight and will think of you tomorrow. I am so sorry.

Pesky, I am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family.

Pesky, I am so sorry for all that you and your DH are dealing with now. May your FIL be at peace if it is his time, and may you have the strength to do what needs to be done. I'll be thinking of you.

Oh Pesky, such grave news. I am so sorry. I will also say my prayers for good communication between your DH and his siblings. It is a tough time and I have been in your shoes, being the "outsider" as it were. Hang in there...

Pesky, I'm so sorry to hear this.

One thought offered in the spirit of one who has been through this with my mom already: I remembered something about getting any safe deposit box cleared out *before* your loved one dies, because it will be much harder to get it opened afterwards. I was googling for information on that and I found the link below. I hope it's helpful. It's such a vulnerable time that any information you have is definitely power. Sorry if the note of practicality is inappropriate at this time but I sure wish the internet had been around when my mom passed. I'll be holding your family in my thoughts.

Here is a link that might be useful: one source of info for that crash course

Having just said goodbye to Hubby's Mom, I send you my heartfelt sympathy and empathy.