When my DD was going to attend 1st grade in the public school system for the first time it coincided with my starting back to work full time, her first experience in a public school system ( had always been in small private schools) and a brand new teacher. DD was thrown for a loop. Became clingy and cried hysterically etc. We didn't know this little girl at all, let me tell you ! We struggled for a couple days with the teacher assignment. The teacher was of the mind that DD would "get over it" and refused to make any concessions to how upset DD was at drop off. DH and I went to the principal before the first week of school was out and told her, didn't ask, that DD had to be put into the classroom with an experienced loving teacher...we already knew who we wanted and had called her at home to make sure she was on our side. DD was moved...took one day and she was like a new girl...or rather back to the little girl we knew. The teacher went the extra mile and held her close all day the first day...DD got over her anxiety because she knew that someone would hold her if she needed it.

When I was in nursing practice I often found that patients would use the call light ever second if the RN assigned to them never went into the room. Soon I was assigned the "problem patients". No more call lights extreme at all as soon as I got them. Reason ??? I was there for them at every call immediately...dropped everything and went. When they called me after that it was rare and only when really necessary. Why ? Because they knew I would be there for them.

All of this is a long winded way of saying that you should go with your instincts and get your son moved. There is no reason to put him or you or the new teacher through the trauma of moving later. Oh and your son might do fine and so might the new teacher ...but this is not a guinea pig process...why bother to find out. You know what works. c

So it's between separate your sons or endure the new teacher?

Which would cause the weaker son more suffering: separation or a (possibly) a less attentive teacher?

It sounds as if the stronger son might not suffer in either case? Would he benefit from being separated from his brother?

Does separation of your son's "have" to happen at some point? Is it 6th grade?

I can sympathize with your dilemma. I I would make an appointment with the principle and clearly state your concerns. Since your child has an IEP is this new teacher familiar with the teaching techniques, time concessions and special testing methods that are specified in the plan?

It is even possible that he could be better suited for your son than the other teacher. But you need to advocate for you child and put your mind at ease.

I assume your school is like most excellent schools in that a whole lot of thought is put into class placements. I assure you, as a former teacher and now on the parent side, that placement is not luck of the draw. Many team meetings are held to place all sorts of children within a class of other children and a teacher who fit their needs best. I would suggest calling the administration with questions first and hear why they thought this new teacher was in your family's best interest.

The new teacher may have been the best choice for one of your sons and as you wish to keep them together it may not be for the other... You need all the info before judging the school's decision. You may need to separate the boys inorder to achieve each ones best interests in placements.

If after you have spoken with the school as to its reasons and you are still unhappy, then it is time to make demands, but I really do think schools, even more than parents, want to achieve the best class placements for their students. The school's success depends on it too...
Good Luck!

I can relate to your situation in that when our DD was in third grade she was assigned the teacher from hell (a "screamer" and just plain mean). I'd never met her and was just going on reputation so felt we needed to at least give her a trial period. By the end of the first week DD was miserable and I was in the principal's office. She was transferred and had a very successful year.

I'd probably meet with the principal ASAP, discuss your concerns and request a transfer for both boys. It doesn't hurt to ask:)

I have a son with autism. Every year I worry about the teacher assignments. I have learned right now to always at least see how things play out. When I have a concern, how does the teacher react to it? I also talk to the teachers my son has had previous years. I would only go in guns blazing if I was absolutely certain the teacher was a poor match.

It was interesting in first grade, there was a teacher that I adored. She reminded me of everything I thought of as a good teacher, she was southern and reminded me of my days as a child living in the south. She was very traditional in manners, etc. (a lot like me!). My son was placed in a different class most of the time. At first it bothered me but my son did fine. Then during his IEP meeting preparing for 2nd grade, a comment had been made by my dream teacher that she wished my son could make some eye contact, at least once in a while to show he was paying attention (definitely not one of his strong points). The teacher he spent the most time with was Hispanic and she was fine with my son because in her culture, children did not look adults in the eye and so they were a good match. I learned I just never know and, my son has worked with the special ed team at his school for many years now, so they do know him and have an idea of what he needs. I am very observant and so if I see something amiss, I will not hesitate to call in the necessary people for a meeting to address it. In our case though, nothing can be amiss until I see his unique interaction with the teacher.

I wish you luck. Parenting and educating special needs children is tricky and there are often no clear cut right answers. I hope both your sons have a wonderful school year.

Looking from the outside in, I am wondering if this years teacher was chosen with your nonADHD son in mind?
I am wondering too, if now would be the time to to think about separating them?

I know you mention it has helped in too many ways to mention, but at what cost to your non ADHD son?

As a parent of an ADHD child, you really don't have enough information to go on at this point in time. This teacher may be "new" to the school, but not new to teaching. I would ask to meet with the Principal and the teacher to discuss your son's specific needs. You will get a better sense of this teacher's personality and teaching style once you meet him. I would not request a transfer until you know what will be best for your child. Good luck. :)

I think you should arrange a meeting with the teacher assigned before you do anything. The school knows your boys (and you) by now and likely feels the new teacher and your boys will be a good fit.

Both of your sons will have to deal with lots of different kinds of people AND changes in their lives, regardless of their issues/non issues.

Keep an open mind. I worked with people with different abilities for 15 years. I learned that parents can actually prevent growth due to preconceived ideas about their children.

U

Since you know nothing about the new teacher, but just assume he'll be spread too thin, I'd wait and see what is true. What if he is the BEST teacher in the world for your son (or both of them) and you deprive him of that opportunity because of your fears?(altho I do understand them).

If you feel more comfortable expressing your fears to the admin, then do it, but give the new guy a chance. You'll then have prepared the admin for the possibility of requesting a transfer, but you'll be able to see if perhaps your children will blossom under the wing of a fresh new young teacher.

I second what olychick and roarah said. I do believe the administration carefully reviews student records and tries to select the best suited teacher for their students. Give the new guy a chance to prove himself.

I would also refrain from discussing your misgivings about the new teacher in front of either of your sons, as this could prejudice them against the teacher before the class room doors even open! Your concerns should be kept private until it becomes necessary to speak with the administration, if at all. There is no need for the boys to question their classroom placement before school begins.

Keep an open mind and see what develops - you donâÂÂt know the new teacherâÂÂs true capabilities. It could be that heâÂÂs a perfect match for both their personalities.

I agree. Just because he is a new teacher for this school does not mean he is 21 years old just out of school. He could have been a nontraditional student, or he may have a lot of experience with special needs kids. Even if he turns out to be younger, he may have done a lot of volunteer work with special needs kids over the years. Our teacher education curriculum really prepares teachers to work with a variety of kids because that is what they have: gifted, special needs, English language learners, etc.

My daughter just finished 5th grade where there were 2 5th grade classes. My daughter got the older experienced teacher and the half got the new to teaching teacher. My daughter's experience was horrible. Her teacher needed to retire. She was not interested in motivating the kids to do their best. She was tired and the class was often out of control. I could go on and on. My point is I would have much rather had the fresh out of school teacher. She had fresh ideas, the kids loved her. She had tremendous patience and was always bringing fresh ideas into the classroom. I got to know her as did many parents from my daughter's class because she was aware of our frustrations with our children's teacher and gladly shared what she did in her classroom regarding the different subjects. Just another viewpoint...

Just want to put in a plug for the new teacher. I have been teaching for 23 years in special education. The best co-teacher I have ever had (and she is the best teacher of any I have known in all those years) was fresh out of school when I first worked with her. She was and continues to be an amazing and gifted teacher.

As others have said, schools do put a lot of thought into class placements. At some point, your boys won't necessarily be in the same classes and it is not a bad idea to see how it goes in the nurturing environment of elementary school rather than waiting until middle school which is a quite different atmosphere.

On a personal note, my son's second grade year was his worst ever. I asked for a particular teacher based on someone's recommendation that she would be perfect for him. Nice person, not a good match teacher-wise for my ADD child who needed more structure along with the big heart. Left it up to the school from then on and he had a string of marvelous teachers.

Coaching should not be at all detrimental to his classroom position-have worked with several who did that and it didn't affect their 'regular' job at all. In fact, the kids thought it was pretty cool. Also, boys often respond especially well to male teachers. There are so few at the elementary level and most are just terrific.

Such good advice from so many wise women. The school year is such a stressful time for me. Thank you so much. I was ready to call and make an appointment with the principal today for next week to talk about switching my son but now I think I will mull it over this weekend. You have given me a lot of food for thought. I will take time later to try to address you individually but please know that I gave a lot of thought to each of your post.

A little more info. The new teacher is under 30 and has taught for 2 yrs in another school but I have heard really good things about him. Also, please know that indeed this is a great school that cares about the kids and I know that a lot of thought was probably put into placing the kids. I have no doubt that they have the best interest of my child in mind.

My boys were put together 2 yrs ago for my benefit so that the boys would have the same tests, homework,etc. When they were not together, especially with Ds special needs I thought I would lose it. It was an experiment to put them together but it saved my sanity. Plus with Ds executive function issues, his brother helps me stay on top of a lot of things. He writes down the assignments, brings home study guides, knows when test are, etc. He doesn't mind and doesn't resent it in the least. It's hard to describe how bad Ds executive function issues are....working memory, etc.

I know they will have to be separated eventually and if I thought keeping them together was hurting my other son I would not. D does not have any behavioral issues, thank heaven. Except for the occasional meltdown at home.

I don't want to unfairly judge the new teacher and not give him a chance. I am just going to think things over and decide what to do on Monday.

I just know that I love my son and that things are hard for him under the best of circumstances. I can't afford for him to have any less than the best.

He shouldn't have any less than the best even if you could afford it! You go, Red.

I would make the appointment with the principal, regardless. Look on it as a fact finding mission rather than as if you are going in to demand change.

Like others have said, the new teacher may be the better option. I'm a teacher and when I sit down to decide class placements for the next year, I want to cry because one of the teachers is overdue for retirement and I hate having to send any of "my kids" to her (my own daughter had her and it was her worst year ever). But definitely get all the info so you know how the decision was made.

"I just know that I love my son and that things are hard for him under the best of circumstances. I can't afford for him to have any less than the best."

Truer words were never spoken. I am sending strong good thoughts to you all. c

I am an educator and a parent of a child with special needs who was in inclusive education and needed very specific attributes in a teacher. I think you are wise to be thinking about options early. I would make the appointment with the principal, state your concerns to get them on the record, if after that talk you feel you would like to keep him with the new teacher make a plan with the principal in advance for how any issues that crop up are addressed. Get the teacher on board early and present yourself as a member of the team working with your child (a coach should get this!). Some of the very best teachers I have worked with don't even have an education degree (they are called aides, but are truly outstanding teachers) and young too, so inexperience is not necessarily a problem. Just think of all the bad habits this teacher has not formed yet! Best wishes...I know how hard this is and how it impacts the whole family.
Judy

Thank you all!!

I am so excited and feel so at peace right now. I hope it last. I made an appt yesterday and met with the principal today. DH and I both went in although I did most of the talking. We went in with the attitude that although we thought it would be best to switch D to the seasoned teacher, we were going to begin with a fact finding mission.

We ascertained that the new teacher, although young and only 2 yrs in, is very organized and has good discipline. He is not laid back. He is very organized. D needs this.

We also found out that there is quite a division of classes between the two teachers and that D will have both teachers regardless. The reading teacher (resource teacher) will come into Ds classroom one hr a day during reading and help out with reading for both kids with IEPs. They are both in this classroom.

So...for many reasons we decided that overall it may be a good choice to leave D where he is and that the placement was probably a good choice. If, after a quarter we feel it isn't working out, we will re-evaluate.

School starts next Tuesday and we will have a meeting with all of us on Friday to start the year out right.

Just want to let each and every one of you know (including the recent post) that your notes really helped me. These decisions are so tough and it means so much to get some support from others, especially moms that have been in the trenches and educators that know what they are talking about. Thank you so much.

Whew...glad this decision is behind me for now :-)

Sending best wishes that it turns out to be a terrific year for both your boys, and for YOU, too! Your concern and ability to calmly assess the situation, and not jump to conclusions will give everyone the best chance. I hope it proves to be a great year!