If it is synthetic yarn, wash it and use fabric softener and dry it in the dryer. That will soften it up.

What yarn did you use? If it's wool, try some hair conditioner. Have you checked your gauge against the gauge on the pattern? If you're knitting at too tight a gauge for the yarn, the fabric will be stiff and not have much drape.

No, everything is OK as far as that goes, guage was right, fits ok, it was just a kind of stiff yarn to begin with. but I really liked the color!

Yarn, like fabric, is manufactured with a coating of sizing, which I liken to a light starch. That's what gives it that new, smooth finish. Just wash the item to remove that sizing, and then rinse with a fabric softener. If it is wool or another natural fiber, follow the laundering directions on the label.