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gajopa

What do you do for a grieving dog?

17 years ago

My neighbors had 2 English bulldogs, one had to be PTS Christmas day. They had been together virtually their entire lives of 11-12 years. The remaining one is grieving terribly. She moans, whines, howls most of the day. They supposedly don't have money for a vet. The deceased one had a knot on her leg that they thought was probably cancer but was never diagnosed or treated. I've never seen a dog as miserable as the one that's left. She is outside all the time and not much attention is given to her. I've taken my little one to the fence to talk to her but she doesn't respond much. Would some kind of antidepressant help her? I would be willing to buy it but since they don't use a vet I don't know how I would get it for her. Any suggestions on how to help would be appreciated. One of mine that is a house dog appears to be affected by her grieving.

Comments (15)

  • 17 years ago

    Ask if you can have the dog...technically if the owner provides food, water, vet care and adequate shelter the owner is not being neglectful. If you think the dog is being neglected and it might have a physical problem call the authorities. If not, you might want to let the owners know what you have observed and offer to take the dog....hard one to fix.

  • 17 years ago

    I don't know how much interference the neighbor will tolerate. Have they just abandoned the dog to the outside?

    It sounds like you have more than one dog. With it being winter this may not be an option, but could the dog come over and visit with your dogs? The bulldog, as long as he gets along with your dogs, would probably help with his feelings of being left.

  • 17 years ago

    I am confused! If the dog had never been diagnosed with cancer, why did she have to be euthanized? And as for the remaining dog, they just leave her outside and never pay attention to her? That's not right, and I am glad you are trying to help her. Do you think your neighbors might listen to reason and pay more attention to her if you talk to them? If they don't care about her, maybe you could try contacting a breed rescue for bulldogs. I don't know where you are located, but the link below has a state-by-state listing.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Bulldog Rescue

  • 17 years ago

    what a sad situation. when we lost our old husky, his little corgi sister grieved terribly. ended up getting her another brother and that helped.

    maggie was totally devoted to my husband. when i lost him last year to cancer, she went into a funk. it took her several days before she would even eat and for months after his death, she was depressed. with a new great dane sister to think about, she is slowly coming out of her shell.

    i agree...is there any way YOU could take this poor dog into your home? these people obviously don't have their dog's best interests at heart. :(

  • 17 years ago

    Thanks everyone for your comments.

    Mazer, that would be an ideal thing to do but honestly we can't afford another one. One of ours has multiple health problems and we spend between $300-over $600/mo on them. Also have a cat but she isn't nearly as expensive. The dog is fed and watered (such as it is) but they say they can't afford to take it to the vet. As far as I know there is nothing wrong with this one except for the grieving.

    Housefairy, the dogs have always been strickly outside dogs. They would not let her out of the fence and I wouldn't feel real comfortable having her around my little ones. She has never been a friendly dog and used to run at mine when we'd go to the fence to talk to them. The one that's gone was very friendly and I wouldn't have worried about her being with them.

    Petra, they told me about the knot on her leg and thought it was cancer but hadn't taken her to the vet. She evidently was just getting worse and the day she was PTS they discovered one of her eyes was rolled back in her head and she could hardly get around. They called a vet they go to church with and he came out and did it, took her with him in a plastic bag, probably to end up in a rendering plant. I suppose this one saw what happened. Most days they come out and talk to her for a short while. Other than that she's just there, being miserable. I am pretty sure they wouldn't let anyone take her. The parents wanted to have her PTS at the same time but the grown son didn't want them to. I looked at the link you provided and it doesn't appear there is anyone near here.

    Ninapearl, it's such a sad situation. I wonder how much they understand about what happens. I dread when we lose one of ours, they are very close. You're correct ~ they don't have her best interest at heart.

  • 17 years ago

    the grown son is thinking only of himself. from what you describe, it would have been a kindness to this dog had they opted to go with the parents' wishes. no dog should be forced to live a life of solitude and to my way of thinking, would be better off dead than alive and miserable. :(

    i hate to attribute human characteristics to animals but from my own personal experience, especially with maggie, nobody will ever convince me that dogs don't grieve almost as much as we do.

    we had hospice for 3 weeks before my husband passed away. we were up the lane at his mother's house. my dogs came up every day and kept a vigil at her back door. i took them home every night and shut them in the house and would go up every morning and let them out. they would come and take up their stations at her back door.

    the night gary died, i took the dogs home and went back up to spend one more night with his mom. the next day, i spent most of the day with her at her house. the dogs never came up. they just knew he wasn't there any longer.

    at one point, i had moved gary's favorite recliner from my house to her house for him to use. after he died, every evening for many weeks, maggie slept on the floor in our living room, in the very spot where gary's recliner used to live. she refused to come to bed with me for a very long time. it was truly heartbreaking to watch her grieve because i could not explain to her what was happening. she was truly HIS dog and for the 21 months he was ill, she rarely left his side.

  • 17 years ago

    Ninapearl, I'm so sorry about your husband. That is amazing how the dogs knew what was happening. My DH has said many times if something happened to me one of mine would have to be PTS because she would grieve herself to death. She can't stand for me to be gone and sits at the window the entire time and watches for me, then goes into an absolute tizzy when she sees me. I've instructed my family that when I die they are to make sure the dogs see me and know that I'm gone. I think they could process that better than to just think I left them and wonder if I'm coming back.

    This is the first time I've had two dogs so I've never dealt with one grieving. I, too, think it would have been much better for the neighbors' dog to go at the same time.

  • 17 years ago

    I am heartbroken by this thread. I have a bully and they are inside dog...they can't take the heat in the summer or the cold in the winter. I wish I could come and take the dog. Hubby and I have been considering getting another one. I feel so sorry for the poor thing. Why even have a dog if you just leave them outside. I'm not sure where you live but the bulldog rescue people are pretty devoted to their bullies...you should give them a call anyway....they may have someone willing to travel to rescue the fur baby.

  • 17 years ago

    Sure the dog may have saw what happened, but he isn't going to be traumatized by watching the death of his buddy. Yes, he will miss him, but he will get over that part. Death is a natural occurrence and the dogs aren't necessarily "afraid" of it.

    Dogs are pack animals, this guy has lost his pack and he needs companionship.

    I try to let my living pets sniff the dead body of the deceased, so they would know that they are dead. I think when we take the pets away to be PTS, that leaves the remaining pets looking for them after wards. If they know that they are dead, they won't need to look for them later.

    Normally I would suggest for this guy to get a buddy, but because they don't take care of their pets, its probably not a good idea.

    I think an antidepressant would help her, but I doubt you could get a vet to give you one, without a complete health check up...which would probably be expensive and uncover other health issues...gosh what a horrible situation.

    Another thought would be to let your dogs play with him, but I would be hesitant to let my dog play with another dog that hasn't been vaccinated, health screened etc. And being an unsocialized bulldog, he may be a fighter?

    Any chance you can convince these people to spend some time with their dog, if not money on health care for their dog?

  • 17 years ago

    thank you, gajopa. time is helping me heal and as more time passes, i can see maggie getting better.

    sadly, what you are seeing with this dog happens more often than we like to think. so many people look at pets as throw away items to be discarded when they are no longer cute puppies. it's just so sad.

    i have a provision in my will for all of my animals, including my horses. if i die tomorrow, i am satisfied that they will be well cared for. if they aren't, i will come back to haunt!! ;)

  • 17 years ago

    Little did I know I would be facing the same thing this soon. My little boy who has had multiple health problems for several years got much worse quickly this afternoon. We rushed him to the vet and he advised us to let him go. It was very difficult but we did. I had him give our little girl a sedative injection and he gave some meds to take by mouth. I definitely don't want her to go through what the neighbors dog is STILL going through.

    Trini, I wish you could have the dog too but I'm positive they wouldn't give her up, although I don't understand why.

    Joypyeweed, I agree that they should be able to experience what is going on. We gave our little girl and the cat the opportunity to do whatever they needed to but they didn't seem to be very curious about him. It may be because his sister is sedated but since cats want to check everything out I'm surprised she didn't want to see about him. I just wonder how much they understand. I feel like the worse is yet to come. She was with us at the vet.

    The neighbors have already stated they won't be getting another dog and I don't think I could get them to pay more attention to her. I'm going to talk to them tomorrow though.

    Nina, my kids have definite instruction to take care of mine when we are gone and the money will be available for their care.

    Thank you all for your concern.

  • 17 years ago

    Several years ago, our dog grieved for days after we sold our 57 free range chickens. They were her flock for three years and she cried and stopped eating. She took naps in the chicken coop for about a year after they were gone. The four cats who grew up with the chickens reacted in the same way.

    Yes, it is part of life for us and for our animals and we just need to let them grieve because it is a normal part of life.

  • 17 years ago

    Gajopa-I am so sorry for your sudden loss yesterday. I know our little Sophie girl lost her housemate, Sadie and she grieved horribly. She wouldn't eat, play, all she did was look for her. It got so bad that she had to have fluids every few days just to keep her going. The only thing that worked was bringing a new little girl, Gracie into our family. Within 24 hours, Sophie was eating and acting normal again. This was over a 6 week time period. Sophie and Gracie were so close that they went to the Bridge within 5 minutes of each other.

    Once again, I am so very sorry for your loss. Good luck with your little girl.

    Linda

  • 17 years ago

    Gajopa....I'm so sorry, it's so hard to lose them. I had my Candy for 10 years..she was my first dog, losing her in October I never thought anything could hurt so much. I still feel guilty for putting her to sleep...even though there was nothing we could do. Getting Tootsie was the only thing that got me out of the doldrums. I wish you luck. I'm sure your fur babies will fare much better than your neighbors poor dog. They have your love and attention and you guys will help each other through it.

  • 17 years ago

    Carmen, that's amazing. I wouldn't have thought they would have been that attached to the chickens.

    Linda, thank you so much. So far Tia is doing remarkably well. I have tried really hard to explain it to her and I let her say goodbye to Jett today before he was buried. She has understood that he was in the casket since we brought him home. I haven't felt it necessary to give her the sedatives prescribed for her. My DH said we will not be getting another one as long as he's alive, that he can't handle the pain. He has taken it very hard. Since Jett's health has been bad he's held him in his lap most of the day.

    Trini, thank you. Jett had just turned 10 the first day of the year.

    I talked to the neighbor today and couldn't believe he said they would get another white bulldog when/if they found one. For the life of me I can't understand why one would even consider getting another one when they don't have the means to get care for the one they have left.

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