Jennifer, I feel you pain. I installed a cedar deck in 1991, I wish lightning would strike it. It is so much trouble. I powerwash mine every year, and I have caused the boards to become very rough because the powerwashing blasts away the soft wood fibers while leaving the harder grain untouched thus causing the roughness. My deck gets a lot of shade so mold is a constant problem. I have tried many products but nothing lasts very long. Lots of work power washing then sealing. I have thought about flipping the boards powerwashing then painting. I have also thought about replacing with TREX. Sorry I wasnt much help, just trying to forwarn you.
Ron

I power wash and then use a stain/sealer -- Ducks Back - we use a tinted color and it really looks nice. You could resand too if you are getting to rough.