Let's face it, Ttodd, we all have issues, but your next-to-last line shows that in this one area, at least, you have made a significant breakthrough. Congratulations! Some people NEVER see the light.

I can really relate to this, ttodd. I have always used the same colors in my decor: greens (olive to moss), browns, and rich wood tones in deep reddish brown (mahogany, cherry, and I've used pine in the past with good success). My style is best described as world eclectic (think Pier One) and on the masculine side--sort of "old world study/library".

I recently tried to go in a different direction and add in turquoise and some French country furniture. Mistake! It felt forced and false. I never loved it. I even made dusty turquoise velvet drapes that now have no purpose as they don't go with my new olive walls. Fortunately I didn't spend a ton of money, as I bought things off Craig's List, but it was still money wasted. I'll be making new velvet drapes in a beautiful dark olive green.

You're right, decorating doesn't have to be hard. It should feel natural if we only use what we love. I never had a problem decorating until I tried to go in a direction that didn't fit me. I think our hearts know what we want, but our heads get in the way. We just need to lose our minds, and the decor will come :-D.

Ttodd wrote "Why do some people feel that they have to pain themselves to achieve a beautiful home when it's inside of them along?"
Because they are trying to follow the "rules" or impress others. If they just let loose and did what they wanted, not bothering to care what others thought, their homes would be a wonderful representation of themselves and their family. Maybe not everyone would like it, but not everyone lives there.

Ha!
It's because we are sheep and believe whatever trendy spiel the decorating magazines and HGTV are feeding us at the moment.

I have wanted to write a post on this topic forever, but knowing my cantankerous nature I was sure it would come off as being critical of everyone- you have done a much better job of verbalizing it ttodd!

I know for me if I never hear the words trendy, passe, in or out, etc. ever again I will be happy.

I think everyone mostly knows that they like and needs to follow their own heart. Every time I read a "what color should I paint my ____?" I just cringe.
Now with smaller more specific issues I will agree that various and varied thoughts can be very useful.
But asking what taste, or style, or color is in now strikes me as absurd. It is your home and the only person it has to please is you! [/cantankerous]

Didn't you paint a ceiling black? Having never done that before I think there would be a "fright" factor to your style of decorating...hhhmmmmmmmm. Right? Painting an antique white....again...fright factor. :0) Decorating has cliff jumping potential....there is an "unsafe" territory.

Just to add a note here, I think with all the decor groups such as this, blogs and decor/magazine type websites we are so inundated with ideas that we "love" that we find ourselves tempted by styles that are not really "us". To me decorating our home is as easy as dressing my body. There are many things out there I admire on others, swimwear for one, but wouldn't be caught dead wearing myself.

I know exactly where you're coming from because I'm just like you. I once knew what I liked until I started watching HGTV, reading too many decorating magazines and books, and listening to people who don't love the things I love. Now I'm trying to listen to my heart and not my head. And something has to speak to me before I buy it. I've also tried to eliminate everything in my home that isn't drop-dead gorgeous or doesn't serve a purpose. And I rarely buy anything new. Most of my home is furnished with auction and flea market finds or something I found on the curb. And when it comes to colors, I have tried (unsuccessfully) to be a "blue person" or a "green person" or whatever, because that is what designers said I should like. But I know without a doubt that I am a "red person." Perhaps that comes from my childhood since my grandmother, who raised me, always had a red kitchen. To me, red is the color of life and it evokes fond memories for me. Thanks for your thought provoking post, ttodd.

Because for some of us, it isn't in us all along. The more I try to pull my home together, the more I realize I don't have the decorator gene. I can do color, but not patterns & scale. Lots of trial & error here: skimpy curtains, rugs that don't work, too small accesories, too large furniture. Oh well! Back to the drawing board :)

"It's because we are sheep and believe whatever trendy spiel the decorating magazines and HGTV are feeding us at the moment."

ugh. I seldom like rooms I see in a decorating mag or on hgtv do overs. I might see an item of furniture or a color i like but not whole rooms. if I do see one it's usually one that i think is nice - but i wouldn't have it.

"I know for me if I never hear the words trendy, passe, in or out, etc. ever again I will be happy."

me too!

magnaverde -

Well let me just say that a certain post of yours in response to a pictire I took really helped me start to learn about me. It was one where I gathered all of my favorite things together on my mantle. Paint samples of my favorite colors on large board, art, trinkets and other accessories, lamp shades and lamps and then I took a picture of all of it together.

I took a good hard long look at that picture. I hadn't gone out to buy anything new for that picture. Instead I roamed my attic, and every room and basement in my house. Through taht pictire I saw how I see color and what I gravitate to. I saw where I may not have made the best choices in accessories but how there was some relationship to everything else. I could see where I on the right track - I needed to learn not to impulse buy.

I found what type of art I had inadvertantly begun accumulating and began thinking about how I could display things as a collection instead of disparate pieces everywhere around my house simply because the price was right and I wanted something at that moment. I learned a lot about me, my strengths and weaknesses and my likes and loves (nothing that I didn't like was in my overall picture). I learned where I could do things better and accept what wasn't going to change because that's what I really liked (except that crazy navy thing - jeez - who was I kidding!).

I forget exactly what your wording was but it boiled down to something like when you know yourself you don't have to look outside... Oh heck what was it?! It's always just this free form thought that has stuck w/ me.

I revisit that picture you know

Oh, and BTW - where did my love affair w/ navy come from? The House Beautiful cover from September 2009. Well now we know!

I agonize sometimes. Usually it's a lack of confidence to just follow my gut and do what I want. Sometimes I'll throw out an idea (to whoever will listen) and I get that "ew" face. Or, "Have you thought about doing x instead?" If I just shut up and do it, I'm usually happy with it.

This is the first house that's actually ours, so I'm really, really getting to truly decorate for the first time, and it's like I just woke up. I have so many ideas for this place, but I'm afraid to waste time and money on something that may not work. But I have to remind myself that it only has to work for us, and it's just stuff.

I'm agonizing now. My decor has always been neutrals but now I'm trying to add color. I have been trying so very hard for the past two weeks to get the new colors to meld and flow. My main rooms are open to each other so I feel I have to marry each room to the next.

I don't go off trends either but always have only bought what I truly love and these all are similar in color and style. I'm a thrift store girl also, my fav place to shop!

I think I agonize because of mistakes I've made in the past. I have to agree with awm03, I don't think it's necessarily in all of us all along. I'm pretty good with colors and I'm getting better at mixing patterns, but spacial planning and accessorizing are weak areas for me. After numerous attempts where things have looked better in my head than in reality, I tend to over-think everything. I also try to work with visual aids whenever possible. The Wii box stood up on end was just the perfect height to determine whether or not a dresser that height would work with the window in my son's room. Holding up a tape measure would not have been nearly as conclusive.

Totally Confused

I agonize because I get a "picture" in my head and I just can't relax until my "project" either matches the "picture" or some new balance is found while I am trying out the changes. I recently changed out a rug in my little living room and the balance was off because of the new rug size. I found my furniture was in the foyer or middle of the room for the whole weekend because I couldn't quite get the balance of objects in the room to work. It just drives me crazy if something seems wrong---therefore I don't change rooms around very often! Just the accessories.

I don' know that we agonize because we want our neighbors to be impressed---we are the ones living there and looking at it every day. It's more of the "unfinished project" of the room/house that drives us crazy. And I am in the camp that a home is never "done", but it can achieve a certain feel that allows us to rest and still add in those special touches we find along the way.

I had an epiphany yesterday, after reading this.

I've done several of our rooms in cool, soft colors. Wedgewood blue, pale aqua, Jadeite green. Except the media/living room, which is done in khaki, cranberry red, and olive green. I was thinking about how that room is so different, and when I was actually buying the rug and sewing the pillows, I don't think I could have said where that color scheme came from, or why it was such a change from the rest of the house, but it just seemed right for the room.

It occured to me yesterday that if I look in our closets, the cool, soft colors are what I wear, what I'm drawn to everyday, and the more dark, earthy colors are what DH wears everyday. I think subconsciously I was decorating that room for him all along. He could care less what color the bathroom is, but he spends a lot of time in that living room, and when I was putting it all together, that shift in style just seemed to fit.

I think sometimes the agonizing comes from the natural complications of influence and personality and events in a life fully lived.

There are days when I feel safe and at home in a fully tarted-up traditional room, because it puts me in mind of the best houses I grew up with. Then there are other days when I want a pale empty room with sheer curtains, a bench, a simple linen shift, a bowl, a spoon...

All right, that's extreme...but for those of us who don't have the luxury of the city house for formality, the country house for eclectic family accumulation, the beach house for sandy bare feet and wet bathing suits, and the little chalet in the French Alps, perhaps our back-and-forth comes from our very real need for periodic refreshing changes in our lives. And our desire for the space to express something that is in us, but does not dominate.

People agonize because they read too many blogs, too many catalogs/magazines/design books and let too many designers/editors tell them what to do (or what not to do) :-) Like my neighbor who bought a bunch of dark wood furniture from RH when she moved in her house couple years ago, then last week came running to me wanting to CL the whole thing because she went to RH and found out the new trend is the reclaimed pale wood. (though in her words, she "fell in love" with the new look & the sale lady said dark wood is so passe') :-D

To be honest, I don't agonize anymore. Now for me the question is whether I love it enough and if I have to ask do I love ------ enough to buy/do it, then I don't really love it at all. :-) I still have indecision (which paint color, which fabric, etc.) but I am a lot less affected by trends and what's in or out. I feel a lot freer & happier since I got rid of that design shackle.

I don't get my inspiration from shelter magazines (though I still love to read them to see what's going on in the design world). Now, my no. 1 magazine for inspiration is National Geographic & travel magazine. Recently, I repainted my family room "pale powder" because I was reading an article on venice, Italy and I just love the pale blue and dusty pink on their buildings (also the reason why I painted DD's room Calamine -- a very beautiful greyish dusty pink). It turned out so well. I'm so very glad I took the risk and do a blue family room (not very "in" right now I must admit -- everybody is painting grey or cream nowday!)

I'm in deep agony right now with the new house nearing completion. The paint choices have me in over my head. We're determined to be BOLD this time 'round. Last house was a soft smoke gray throughout because we couldn't decide soon enough on individual rooms. Only 1 room got painted a new color--9 yrs into life at that house (but I did make myself have fun in the finishing of the basement 2 yrs before we moved). And grays are "IN" now. I'm scared to think now that we never really got tired of it and should maybe do it again, but with the exception of 1-2 rooms, I've already given my paint choices to the builder this morning. And boy, were we BOLD! Eggplant dining room anyone? A medium earthy green for the study (in each room, above the trim-colored wainscoting).

But, over the last dozen years I found the colors I most like and they are eggplant, earthy greens, dusty orangish/reddish/browns ("spice"), golds. These became my accent colors in our soft smoke gray house. This time, I'll use the colors with golden tan for the over-all "main" color.

I can't wait to rake up my spread-out pile of paint chips in the apartment's living room. That'll be this evening: ceremony at 7.

Fingers crossed,
Tracey

I agree Cear! To be honest, I don't even know what's "in or out or trendy" right now except olive green.

It seems like Olive green is "trendy" here though. I like it with very dark wood but can't understand why everyone wants it in their home just because it's "trendy."

Ttodd, back to your own question. The only reason I agonize which I really didn't do execpt when I had to pick out paint, is so I can feel comfortable in my home.

When I see pictures of homes that looks like they came out of a magazie, it feels like the person did agonize over making it "picture perfect" instead of concentrating on the rooms being pretty and comfortable at the same time.

Many rooms I do see are just gorgeous, but they're not a place where I can feel comfortable in with every day living.

So I do agonize in making my house comfortable and nice looking at the same time.

I had guests over the other day and I took a picture of the women in the living room. When I looked at the picture, I noticed one of them had her feet plopped on my coffee table. Right then I knew I achieved the look I was going for. lol

Awn's reply above reminded me that I am definitely over agonising over something! Pattern, along with textures in fabrics.

I've been searching forever for the perfect throw pillows to match my sofa besides the ones it came with.

So yes, I am agonizing!

Tracey, picking paint colors is the hardest part. Once you have them picked out, it's all downhill from there.

I don't agonize, I make a decision and I don't look back. However, the process of making the decision is really involved and extended sometimes. If I do a search and there are 1000 light fixtures that come up, chances are, I will look at all 1000. Once I pick something though, its done. I also don't decorate completely as much as I accumulate--everything just evolves and everything is imperfect. I look at magazines to see whats out there, but I may be as influenced by an Architectural Digest from 1975 as something that is on the stands now. Actually I havent looked at any of my subscriptions in a couple of months and I am not sure why.

Olive green is in right now? Hey, I'm cutting edge then! And here I thought I was a troglodyte for painting my foyer avocado olive green. In that case, why, Yes! It's so important to keep up with the latest, my dears.

Pal, you've been too busy house hunting to look at magazines. Any closer to finding something you like?

Greens are popular here but I have them in my house because I like the color. Same with gold. Golds and greens are my favorite paint colors. If everyone here started really getting into turquoise I wouldn't use it in my home because it's not a color I care for.

I agonize because I want my house to look nice. I shouldn't care at all but I'd be lying if I said I don't care of anybody else likes it. Compliments are nice. I can tell when my things don't look right and could be tweaked but I don't always know how to fix it. Some things I've learned along the way and need to stay because of finances. I've made some spendy mistakes in the past and I don't want to make similar mistakes again.

I'm finding things do eventually come. If I were a wee bit more patient I could spend less money along the way. The other day I found a very large Williams Sonoma bowl with a rooster and french writing (my first rooster. :) ) at the thrift store. I put it on the iron stand on my kitchen countertop corner and instantly had the feeling of "that's it. That's what belongs in that spot." Before I had a red plate in the corner and a few other things I tried prior to that. I love the plate but it was just ok there and I didn't get that ta da feeling. I knew someday I'd find something that fit. I know I just got done saying I want people to think my house looks nice but I actually wouldn't care if everyone hated the bowl. Maybe I'm getting slightly more confident in myself. Could be I'm still discovering what I like. I'm really just rambling. :)

I really like the idea of piling everything you love up on a pile and taking a photo. I come here for help, ideas, suggestions but in the end I have to ask myself what I like best and what works for our house.

I find there are some things I NEVER agonize about-

old furniture-really anything old :)
mirrors
art
bedding
dishes
fabric-usually ;~)
lighting
I am ALWAYS certain when it comes to the "stuff" I love. I see it, love it, and never hesitate to buy it because I know I can find a place to love it in my home. For me I agonize over things outside my comfort zone- paint!!!!!!!

great thread ttod!
I don't agonize when I'm making decorating decisions. I can agonize when having someone new over or posting a pic of my home. How you decorate or don't decorate says so much about you. You are laying yourself bare to friends and strangers. This is what I like and how I live is said out loud in all of it's decorating glory. Every detail can says something about the person who chose it. That's why I think we agonize.

Well Tracey, those colors sound gorgeous! There once was a member here (not sure who and if they still post - if you read this and it's you, please post a pic!) and she painted her DR the most wonderful shade of raspberry on top w/ white wainscotting/ panels below. It was a BM color - Blackberry something?

Oakleyok - I couldn't match patterns to save my life! I do think that we all have something that comes naturally to us whether we know it or not. I can do color. I can't do pattern. That's one thing about Sarah Richardson that bugs me. I often like her designs very much but I don't think that she's so great at mixing patterns. But that's just me.

Sheesharee - try the pictyure thing and tell me what you think after looking at it. Pull all of your favorite stuff in one spot and take a picture. See if you notice correlations (or things that don't relate) that you hadn't noticed before. I found my picture quite eye-opening.