Painful as these meetings are, I would keep booking them with contractors until you have met three that you like and think you could work with. Then get bids from those three. An excellent book I recommend is "House Beautiful - Take Charge of Your Home Renovation: Everything You Need to Know for a Successful Home Renovation or Remodeling"
Hope this helps.

Here is a link that might be useful: Here's the book on Amazon

I hate to say this...but you're not special! I think these types of meetings are typical of the interviewing process and they're the reason for the interviews. I'd keep talking to as many as you can. We found that the conversation/interview process was helpful to us as each different builder/tradesman pointed out something that we needed to consider - floor sloped 2 1/2 inches from side to side of room, ceiling wasn't even, structural wall that had to be removed had peculiar original construction. Yes, it's tedious and time consuming, but I think it'll help you in the long run.

To get a bit of control over the budget, have you thought about general contracting yourself? Our architect estimated our remodel at $170,000 and we GC'd - total cost came in at about $125,000.

Part of the reason that our total cost was that high were the unexpected things that were discovered once the project was underway. We were told by a number of contractors to allow an extra 10-20% for "surprises". I though we had done such thorough homework pre-demo that there was no way we'd have surprises...but I was wrong. I strongly encourage you to budget for this category, too.

I also recommend the book that kristi suggests!

I have the 20% cost overrun budget already factored in and it's actually on everything, verses a line item increase (some folks don't increase 20% for the stove for instance because it's a stove and can't cost more than X) so hopefully I'm ok there. And I did do my research (though I'm going to grab that book this weekend!) and expected the contractor costs to come in around 40% of the job (it shouldn't cost more to have a $20,000 range installed than a $10,000 with the same features). I can't even find a 65% labor/permits/etc figure on the net, but I could see it in a lower end remodel because it takes X amount of time to install a cabinet, and the cost of the cabinet does not make a difference in that X figure.

Anyhoo....I've booked two more interviews...and just for giggles I have two today :o) so perhaps I'll give up on that idea to quit drinking tonight! We'll see how it goes. I know for one thing, I'm not dressing up for them anymore! It's jeans and teeshirts all the way. I think the suit and jewelery was increasing my costs!

Maybe I'll dirty up the baby too....heh heh

Oh and on the GC'ing it on my own issue. I did consider it, but I have a 17 month old baby with a rare condition that occasionally calls for me to have to fly out of state on very little notice. While my DH can still be around to watch work, he can't take over the GC job (he's president of a large company and just does not have the time) so I'd be in trouble if it was a bad time to leave.

I did consider it for quite some time, and wish it would work, but apparently God wants me to suffer for some past transgressions (there are so many!) and insists I go through this contractor interview stuff...over and over and over....I wish I was Catholic and could confess and be forgiven :oP

Save the drinking til mid-project - you'll most likely REALLY need it then.

I can only suggest getting references from anyone you know who's had work done. I thought this was the worst part of the entire remodel process (including the part where it took longer than expected to be done!) You will find the right person, I'm confident of that. Hang in there! If you are in greater Chicago, I'd happily recommend our lead team...who really is a GC.

I'm in the greater Anchorage Alaska area, but I'm almost willing to move to Chicago for a recommendation :o)

Today was 50/50 on interviews. I liked number one, who was professional, didn't like working his folks late or on weekends, had names of subs ready, knew the products I discussed and didn't offer cheap shortcuts up front. He's got a strong leg up in the competition, so I'll hope for a good bid from his firm. Average employment for his labor staff was 5 years (and he gave me employees names to check with as well as jobs he's done for recomendation). I felt good about him and would be comfortable with him in my home.

Number two was a bust. After discussing the budget and the job (which is a very expensive job) he asked if the shower was a kit (darling we just discussed travertine tile and how I wanted it layed out in a frameless shower with half walls and custom glass....). He also said he has a hard time keeping staff and that he's only on site once a week or less with no one managing the laborers regularly aside from himself. He was nice but it didn't feel good so we'll end up not going with him.

I had a glass of wine with dinner :oP The best choice I've made all day!

We had two brothers who claimed to be contractors. As it turned out, they were the contractors from hell (sorry!) They were slick liars who told us we'd get their top subs (it didn't happen), quality materials (definitely didn't happen), an excellent paint and trim job and one of them would be on the job site AT ALL TIMES (didn't happen!)These dudes migrated to Texas from Missouri. Hopefully, they have headed out of town never to return! You folks in Missouri BEWARE!

We really liked one of the contractors we interviewed, but he came in way out of our price range. Well, as it all turned out, we are having this contractor that we liked so much come in and repair ALL the mistakes the Brothers Grimm (as we now call them)made. In fact, the good contractor's wonderful painter is coming here this week to complete and make right the sloppy paint job the infamous brother left behind.

My advice to you would be to go with the contractor you really liked. If he was a lot more expensive, see if you can eliminate something or come to some sort of workable fee. Believe me, I feel your pain. Good luck and please keep us posted.

We ended up with the "good contractor" :) His bid was reasonable, (a preliminary figure) but did not include gas, electric and plumbing, so we're finalizing those figures this week. He'll also do a walk through with me and be sure he's gotten everything in the contract that we want done so that he can give us a guaranteed bid for the entire job. We'll then have the attorney review it just in case, and we may want to add a couple things (a time line with financial penalties is of top concern) as well as limits on change orders, etc. Anyhoo, I'm hoping by mid week next week we should have a contract signed and permits started so I can take one last quick trip out of town to see the mother in law with the baby, and then hunker down for work on the house in Mid May.

Out of all of the interviews we did, we only received one solid bid. The others are still working on theirs, and one wanted $4,800 to give us a bid :) Since we'd had a bid previously from our original contractor, I knew generally where we should end up on costs, so when the one we liked came in with a figure, we knew we could move on comfortably.

I can't wait to get going! I'm so far ahead of the game it's crazy, with all of my tile, fixtures, sinks, toilets, tubs, marble, granite, appliances, sitting here ready to go :) Which is very unusual on a typical job I'm told, so we're hoping it will flow comfortably. It won't be a perfectly wonderful experience...they never are, but we'll hope it's "ok".

And the contractor just had a baby girl last week so we're hoping we can swap out part of the job for diapers my son's grown out of...heh heh :oP

igloochic, congrats on getting the contractor you wanted. Good luck with your project, you obviously beat me getting construction started! Cheers, c

I am a former homebuilder in dallas texas and I empithise with your plite. Haveing to deal with subs is a full time job. Cost over runs on a re model are a fact of life so please accept that fact. Once I found who I wanted to work with ( not nesecarily the cheepest) I stayed on the job to observe. I could have used less expensive contractors but framers butcher lumber. My framer left a 3 legged saw horse and a pile of saw dust. Saved me a ton of money and finished on time saveing me bank interest. The GC watches the subs, you watch the GC.