Well, first of all ... some dude's buying a vintage lingerie item? Ooooohkay ... But creepy thoughts aside, what is he asking for? Does he want a refund, or does he expect you to make some sort of price adjustment? If it's a refund he's seeking, I absolutely wouldn't issue one without having the item returned. I might consider issuing a partial refund to him, if I could see how he might think I had misrepresented the item, but not otherwise.

So sorry you're dealing with this. Most people who buy and sell on eBay are decent and trustworthy, but there are the select few who will drive ya nuts!

Well, first of all, what is your policy about returns? Did you sell it as is? Did you agree to allow refunds?

If you did not misrepresent the item and you sold it as is, no refunds, then you are being more than fair. I would tell him again that you are more than willing to refund the item, though you don't have to since you sold it 'as is'. However, you must get the item back before you will do so. If he refuses, then tell him you can't refund the money.

If you DID agree to refunds, then you should pay to have the item shipped back. Send him a shipping label and ask him to send it to you. Once you have it in your possession, then issue the refund.

Either way, the only thing he can do is file a complaint. If he does, you can show where you tried to come to an agreeable resolution. Make sure you do ALL communicating through eBay and not through personal email. eBay will not look at any communication that isn't through their site.

You just have to decide if it is worth the hassle. To me, it would be if I felt like I was being scammed. It is just the principle of the matter. I believe he is not being fair if you held up your part of the bargain AND you are willing to issue a refund. If it does go to the resolution department, you have a very good chance of winning. Again, keep ALL communication with him.
ADDY

Thanks for your thoughts and support.

I actually do tick the "no refunds" box in my listings, and also add text that states, "I do my best to describe each item accurately and include photographs to illustrate condition. Please feel free to ask questions before bidding, as all items are sold "as isâ and all sales are final."

However, i am what i would characterize as "hassle adverse" (read wimp), so i just told him to send it back and i would process the refund.

I'm going to hold my ground on this though, and as you said, addyson, let him go through the dispute process. If i win that, maybe i can also get any negative feedback he's bound to leave deleted.

From experience (from the buyer's end), I can tell you that even if you are found to be at-fault in the dispute process, he will be forced to return the item at his expense to receive the refund. Several years ago, I ordered an antique cast-iron teakettle. It was incredibly poorly packaged (placed unwrapped into a box about 3x too large for it then the box was filled about halfway with packing peanuts and taped shut - during shipping, the kettle rolled around so much that the spout poked through the box and broke off - it's probably at the bottom of some UPS truck somwhere). The seller was a we-sell-it-for-you-on-ebay type place, so you think they'd know better. Anyhow, they didn't return my emails or phone calls so I filed through paypal for my money back. The kettle had cost $14 and I paid another $14 for shipping (it was heavy). After a lengthy review or whatever it is they do during the dispute process, paypal offered to refund my $14 if I shipped the kettle back. So I'd still be out the original shipping plus I'd have to pay probably around $14 to return it. Not much point in that.

Anyhow, stick to your guns - if he goes through the dispute process, I'd imagine they're going to force him to return it in order to get a refund from you anyhow. He may not even bother.

Wow. What a horrible experience, lkplatow! I've actually worked pretty hard with the few things i've sold to prepare and package things the way i would want to see them were they to come to me. I wrap everything carefully in white tissue paper and tie a ribbon around it so it looks fresh and "gift like." Then i carefully surround that with bubble wrap, so the peanut "dung" doesn't get all over everything when the item is removed from the box. Then finally, i use enough peanuts to make it secure within the box.

But his first e-mail actually started by complimenting me on the shipping time and the condition of the item. So condition isn't the issue (unless he changes his tune on that in coming e-mails!). He's just claiming the size measurement isn't accurate (which it is, and i even have a picture in which the tip of a ruler can be seen).

Right now, i've simply sent a message (a much more polite message than the way i feel in my heart) saying i'd be happy to issue a full refund once i receive the item back. Since he's complained about how far away the post office is, i suggested he call them for a pick up.

So the ball is in his court. I wonder if he'll decide to drop it now. We shall see!

Thanks you again for your thoughts, everyone.

A seller should always insure an item if there's a chance it could be damaged. And even if it's solid as a brick the insurance would cover you if the item got lost. Insurance isn't for the buyer; it's for the seller.

He has to prove the item isn't the size you stated by pictures with a ruler to show scale. If he can't then he will not win a dispute. I'd stick to my guns if the size was correct and the item was as described.

He needs to return the item at his expense and only then should you issue a refund minus shipping charges.

If he paid through PayPal, he can start a Significantly Not As Described (SNAD) dispute through them. But even if he wins, basically they will tell him he has to return the item and then you will refund. You may be required to pay the return shipping fee.

There are a lot of stories on Ebay's Answer Center about buyers who try to keep the item while claiming it was damaged in shipping or not as described. You might want to check them out or post your problem and see what is suggested.

Here is a link that might be useful: Answer Center

Thanks very much for your thoughts. I have a gut feeling he wants to keep this item, but also wants to try to badger me into refunding his money. He's got a few negatives on Toolhaus.org that lead me to believe he's played fast and loose this way before.

What really disturbs me is the character of his e-mails, which were quite aggressive, rude and demeaning. I stuck to my "send it back and i'll refund you" message, and his e-mails seem to have stopped.

Oddly, he hasn't thus far opened a dispute, nor has he left negative feedback for me. So i'm not really sure what i'm dealing with from a process perspective. I suppose it's possible it will just "go away."

Thank you again everyone. I really do value and appreciate your guidance.

Do you have a link to the sale?

I just went through this (and still in the process) with an item I bought on eBay. The item was misrepresented. The seller has been very agreeable to my sending the item back, plus he is going to refund my shipping expense (or so he says.)

Vintage lingerie would be so easy to place in a soft packaging envelope and mail back. Sounds suspicious.

But I don't find it odd that someone wants the item to be insured for mailing.

Oh, estreya, I just wanted to add something about the insurance. The insurance covers your cost in case something breaks or is damaged in transit. If the buyer pays through PayPal, and the item is broken in shipping, PayPal will expect you to refund the cost of the item, whether or not you or the buyer bought insurance. And even fabric can be damaged if the packaging is ripped or cut.

So, the buyer is protected whether or not he or she buys insurance. The insurance is really to cover you, the seller, in the event that the item is damaged and you have to refund the cost. The insurance should reimburse you for the cost of the item. Some sellers make insurance mandatory--they state that it is included in the shipping and handling fees.

Maybe his biggest beef is really that he can't quite fit into that vintage teddy (or whatever it is) ...

;-)

Ya never know!

New policy on feedback gives buyers too much leverage! no fun :(

OK, now--maybe it's for his GIRLFRIEND!!!

I wonder if the "vintage" sizing is different than what sizing is nowadays and even tho the ruler was pictured with the garment, it was just the wrong size for, um, what he had in mind with the garment. And so he's annoyed. (Also, his demeanor is basically what so many people turn to on the Internet when you don't see the other person face-to-face. It's easy to be a bully. Don't take it personally, but don't be taken in.)

I think if a buyer refuses to send the item back, why would you consider refunding the money?

Well really, are you sure you WANT a piece of lingerie back from such a person? Euuuu.

I've had many things to sell but have always been too chicken to become a seller, lest I run into this kind of scamming, so my hat's off to you for doing it. But from the standpoint of a prolific ebay buyer, there are some sellers out there who scam as well. As someone said, you aren't face to face. You don't know what kind of person you're really dealing with, so it's a little iffy. I hate to say it but I would just let him keep the thing and chalk it up as a lesson, and then ban him from buying from you again.

If all sales are final, then make it very very clear in your listing, and go out of your way to make disclaimers. On this one you could say "This is a vintage item so the sizing may be different than today's sizing, but across the waist it measures ____". Then nobody can fault you.

The other thing you might do is have some communication with the buyer before sending the merchandise. Before I buy something I always email the seller asking a question. OK usually the question is for real, but sometimes it's just so I can get a feel for them. It almost always becomes very apparent when it's someone you don't want to deal with. This is more problematic for sellers because if you got that feeling, you'd have to reneg on your auction, so maybe my idea isn't so bright!

It seemed strange when ebay announced sellers couldn't leave negative FB any longer, but I figured they must have their own private spot on ebay where they report nasty buyers to each other.