I know exactly how you feel. It's just that we've been so immersed in our renovation, that it's importance gets blown out of proportion.

Yesterday, I had the electrician move the backsplash outlets down and horizontal so that they wouldn't interrupt the decorative mosaic. I almost feel foolish worrying about this. There are certainly bigger problems to have!

But we are spending a lot of money and putting much time and energy into this project. Some of us probably are doing this for the first time (and maybe last) and would like it to be as perfect as possible.

You might wake up tomorrow feeling differently.

on another post that i sent out awhile back, someone equated this whole kitchen experience like pregnancy and childbirth. the build up is soooooo exciting and it's all you can think about, read about, talk about and then all of a sudden, the baby is born and it is sleepless nights, poopy diapers and lots of crying!!!!

i guess, in other words, sometimes the build up is so exasperating that it almost feels like a let down when "the big event" happens. does that make any sense at all? it did to me when another fellow gw'er tried to explain it but maybe i'm not doing his/her explanation justice!!! anyway, in the end, as with childbirth, everything will be great!!!! and you will appreciate EVERYTHING about your new kitchen! cheer up!!!!

Redroze, you have put so much thought and care into every detail (as evidenced by your posts here), that I'm sure the end result will not only be wonderful, but exceed your expectations. From the few glimpses we've had on GW, it looks like you have made great choices.

I sometimes think that spending so much time here on GW can contribute to the self doubt. We are all constantly seeing new ideas and approaches that we might have taken. But I know you will continue to get great advice and TONS of kudos on your kitchen.

As a last resort, take the time now to look at your "before" pix, which I'm sure you've taken. That will hopefully make you feel immediately better!

Your fellow Torontonian GWer - Eliz

I agree with the others, it will be just fine and you will love it in the end. For me, I had a couple of cabinets which I kicked myself over getting (KD stated I would love them). I didn't love them at all. One was a big PITA. It was a pain to open and close. Well, I don't have any handles on it and had to constantly bend down to the floor and yank it open. Then I finally put some blue painters tape on it for a handle. I LOVE that cupboard! It is one of my favorites! I can't wait for the real pull to go on it.

There are lots of things left to do. I think you will love it in the end. You just have to get it finished and use it for a bit to know how perfect it is for you and your lifestyle.

By the way, don't worry about not going "all traditional" or "all modern" Just say it is transitional. Also, didn't you have some sick kids at home too? You may be very tired and worn out. Hopefully with a good meal and good night's sleep, all will look brighter in the morning. Can't wait to see pictures!

Friend, you are not alone! In my kitchen, with all said and done, I still find myself thinking "why didn't I do X?" For example, seeing your amazing island totally made me think "now that's what I should have done."

It's funny, because I know I'm happy with my choices and the way our kitchen turned out (both its function and form), but I still do feel twinges of doubt. Like mindimoo's amazing polished marble -- it made me wonder if I shouldn't have left my marble polished ....

Did you see that modern kitchen recently posted (the one with the sakura backsplash)? So get this, I see that kitchen and think "well now, why didn't we do something more like that?"

Keep in mind, I spent a long time figuring out all the aesthetic aspects for this kitchen and it is the kitchen (style) which makes sense for this house, this floorplan and our furnishings. (I am neither prepared nor financially able to go out and completely refurnish our home so as to complement a sleek modern kitchen!)

But there's just no pleasing some people! Here I get the kitchen of my dreams, and I really mean that -- to get to have a brand new kitchen with all the gadgets we wanted and my dream and true love marble -- and I'm thinking "what if?"

So my Toronto friend, you are not alone. You are not critical. What you are is aware. And in all fairness, this website is pretty dangerous, don't you think? It is SO HARD to not see others spaces and ooh and aah and think "well now I want that too!"

Are you willing to share any pictures of your lollipop granite? I am DYING to see it! This morning, I took my four year-old for a haircut and he got a lollipop at the end. It made me think of you, today getting your scrumptious granite!

GW certainly educated me to all the different possibilities, after it was too late to change most of them...isn't my island really a barrier island? Shouldn't I have stayed away from LG? etc. However, in the end I decided that even though I am not making a lot of choices popular on GW, e.g., everyone else's cabinets are Shaker/inset/white/warmdarkcherrywood :), I'm making choices that make sense for me. Your kitchen will be beautiful, and you'll love the ease of cleaning your smoothtop.

Besides, apron front sinks might end up like oak cabinets with cathedral doors -- in 20 years, a surefire way of dating a kitchen :)

When I would start to think that way I would just remind myself of how lucky I am to have such a problem!! This web site IS dangerous, I agree - my standards rose exponentially when I started out here. Our renovation was very modest - no fancy cook tops or subzero freezers, very standar stuff for us, and I often felt as if we weren't doing ENOUGH. But you know what, compared to what I had this kitchen is fabulous and it functions so well for me now, I don't care about not having all the expensive toys I have seen and learned about. Once you are in and the work is all done, you will find you love what you have! Hang in there!

I suspect it's the inevitable human letdown at the end of a great big project, no matter what the project was. All your energy has been focussed in one direction and now your brain is going huh? Was that it?

I think there are huge emotional expectations we subconsciously divert into any home remodeling project -- it will make the house look bigger, my thighs thinner, I will suddenly have thousands of friends, get that promotion and win the lottery. ;-) And when life continues on as usual, we fixate on certain things to fasten those temporary letdown feelings on (sink, stove design, etc) -- but none of it is real, and I promise that in a few days/weeks you will look back and consider this just a moment of brief disequilibrium. All good, and all a natural part of the process. Hang in there!

ps: pictures! pictures!

Mustbnuts - there aren't any sick kids in the home except for hubby and I ("sick" in the non-literal sense...haha just kidding)!! You gave me a good laugh though. We have no kids at the time - too much of our careers and home fixer uppers in the way!!

I'm so silly. I wish I did this...I'm regretting the smallest details. I should have gotten a white sink rather than biscuit. I should have done more open shelving. Coulda shoulda woulda. Argh. My biggest enemy is always myself.

Well funny that you mention that RM, just as you thought you should have done my island, I think - why didn't I do a stainless steel apron sink like RM??? Ugh...envy is probably the ugliest feeling and I hate feeling it. I should be happy for your kitchen and not wish that I had it. I really have to get better at it.

I hope I love my choices just as Mustbnuts first regretted that cabinet. I'm sorry, thanks for listening though.

I'm feeling very insecure today, doesn't help at all that I'm on pms I'm sure, but I'm not yet ready to share pics yet especially as our drawers are out due to the granite install today. I'll post the one photo that I love...despite the little crack in the wall that needs to be fixed. Here it is.

Thanks again for listening everyone. You are all kinder than the average people...and it's really nice to have found this place.

I giggled when I read your comment about my sink. So this is great! Let's just live vicariously through each others features -- I'll mentally borrow your island and you can borrow my sink. Deal!

I really like you, redroze. I'm so glad you're here on GW.

Just a few days I was telling my husband about what I'm dying to do once the kitchen's done. None of them have to do with admiring the aesthetics of our kitchen.

Just to remind myself, they are:
- Cleaning pots in my single sink, as I've always hated double sinks even before I knew singles existed.
- Eating a bowl of cereal at the island. Our old island didn't have seating, and somehow this concept SO excites me!!
- Chopping veggies while watching tv, now that our island faces the family room! (LOVE hubby for considering this detail)
- Being a neat freak, feeling relieved that all our computer peripherals will be tucked away, again thanks to DH's great idea.
- Being able to wash my hands at the prep sink with hand soap as opposed to going to the powder room to wash them!!
- Having a functioning dishwasher so we don't spend have the night washing up dishes.
- Just enjoying it with our friends and families....

I'm feeling better already!

redroze, I think the impact your new kitchen will have will be an overall impression of BEAUTY with many, many lovely details for the eye to rest on. Your kitchen is already full of amazing "WOW" elements with the two colors of cabinetry, fantastic sconces, sublime and elegant backsplash tiles, exotic granite, and dark chocolate floors.

Don't we drive ourselves mad second guessing these expensive decisions? My girlfriend couldn't sleep last night fretting over the paint selections she'd made for a project that began today.

It's totally therapuetic to air it out with friends, and I think tomorrow you will feel better.

I know exactly how you feel, Redroze. Just yesterday I again moved my island to mock up a peninsula to see "how it could have been". And again I reassured myself that a peninsula would have really been in the way of our carport door. But I'm sure it'll creep into my thoughts again. (My kitchen has been 90% done since Easter). I still can't commit to a backsplash or window treatment or artwork. I wonder if I should have consulted a kd. Could it have been better? Maybe, but its pretty great the way it is.

You are all so right. If you think about it, I took this GWers backsplash, another's sink, another's cabinets, while you think that taking "the best" of everyone's would make the best kitchen, you would really end up with a Frankenstein of a kitchen!!!

There's a reason why we made some of the choices we did, that were right for our space, our budget, our lifestyles. The one's that we could have done better, well they're just that, there's always a better this and that. Oddly, it's like the same fixation (as a poster above alluded to) women have about their looks. If we took so and so's hair, her legs, her butt...we wouldn't be "us". I think we should all learn to love our individual kitchens like we love ourselves, and sometimes flaws are just flaws and nothing to obsess about. It's the whole person. Duh, why is this not obvious?

Thanks...good night.

Redroze, I think your feelings are so normal. After months of research, seeing all of the beautiful and unique kitchens, studying and comparing, it's so easy to begin to doubt your decisions. We all do.

Rest assured, you are not alone. Hang in there, in another month, your kitchen will be done and we will all be oohhing and aahhing over your amazing granite with the light and dark cabinets and the Ann Sachs backsplash.

And you will be cooking on that smooth electric cooktop, sliding your pans back and forth with ease and cleaning up spills with a single wipe, smiling at the memory of this post. Then it will be your turn to tell the rest of us, we too, will make it through.

Thanks Plucky, RM, and all the rest of you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Here's how you know you've reached a "critical level" only known to GWebers heh heh

I was coming up the stairs to the master closet to check on install. This is not from our GC...it was a bone I threw to a friend who used to work there and it's the THIRD installation and rebuild. (gorgeous cabs, but never built to spec)

So I'm heading up the stairs and I hear this

"Dude she's not going to notice that"

Laughing

"Dude, do it right! She notices EVERYTHING!!!"

My contractor nearly split his gut laughing and had to go back downstairs. I went up pretending I hadn't heard it with a smile on my face...yup, since GW I do notice everything. Is that good? Maybe, maybe not :)

I have a kitchen going in that people would dream of and I've had nightmares about, and I still second guess decisions every day. I wonder about the backsplash, how the SS counter is going to flow...did I make the right decision to allow the KD to push the counter past the wall an inch (which will flow into the back of the seating, but makes me CRAZY when I look at it now).

All I can suggest, is that you buy another house to do everything you didn't do here...or have yourself committed (the second option is really the best) ;Op Many MANY of your GW friends will be nearby in their little padded rooms.

Redroze:
I feel your pain. LOL
Our kitchen has been 99% done since April, and I have yet to share the finished pics on here or on Rate My Space. Why? Because I am critically second-guessing my decisions, and somehow, just posting the finished pics will make it "final".

I can hear it now "You should've done this", "You shouldn't have done that", "have you thought about changing _______?". To have anyone confirm that I made the wrong choices would indeed send me to a padded room!

But it appears that I'd be in good company. :)

While I understand your feelings (had a small dose of that last year), once you're away from GW and chatting about kitchens, and realise that it is not the world nor the end of the world, you'll enjoy what you have.

Keep reminding yourself that there are more important things in life than a perfect, everything-in-its-place kitchen and that range will fit right in.

Congrats anyway for reaching this far. Best of luck!

Mari

Oh my! I can't wait to see more pictures! What you have looks so pretty! I had to hunt in the picture for what I think you called a crack in the wall? Oh, was it that teeny tiny little thing there? Didn't notice it. Not sure that was it at all. Was too busy looking at your gorgeous granite. I love it with your cabs. So pretty! Can't wait to see more!

It's universal, the second-guessing. Just finished a tiny powder room and it is so nice, so right for the house, but still I am thinking -- should I have picked the other marble, the other wall paper?

The fact is that there are so many choices, and so many perfectly lovely and right choices, that it is unreal to think of any as "the best" choice -- so we do our best to make those choices and try not to forget the sound reasons we chose as we did, and then just enjoy.

I am loving my kitchen, but I sometimes question this or that -- and then I remember why we made the choice we did. Some of our choices were between things we liked just as well, but one fit the house better. I see a lot of things I love, but have no place for or that just don't fit here. I laughed out loud about the Frankenstien kitchen. So true.

Redroze, I finished my first kitchen 3 years ago (well, except for the backsplash and some woodwork!), and all I could ever see were the things that I wished I'd done differently. People would see it for the first time and gasp, and I had a hard time seeing the overall effect. I loved it, and it was SO much better, but really, deep down in my heart, I felt like I'd messed up.

Then we moved (unexpectedly, a few miles away). We had worked hard on the new place for about six months before we moved into it, and had an opportunity to redo the kitchen there also. That meant I could change some of what I did the first time, and "improve" it.

Well, when I walked back into the old house after being absent for a few months I was stunned. It was absolutely beautiful to me. Really, all the way down to my toes. It was the weirdest thing! And I think I was happier with the transformation in my mind than with the look of the kitchen! It was like I forgave myself for the compromises made wrt layout, set up, cab choices etc, and I could trulyenjoy it.

I hope you are less ridiculous than I am, and that it doesn't take you as long or as much work (I wouldn't recommend moving). I suspect you will LOVE your kitchen, and with time the doubts will recede. However, they don't call it TKO for nothing, and the obsession can block your common sense, relaxation, and general good nature on occasion!

I'm constantly second-guessing my decisions. I'm still in the shopping phase (demo starts 10/6), and it's great when I actually *buy* something so I can stop thinking about it. Except I do keep thinking about it, and I drive myself crazy.

I have a notebook I carry around for writing down ideas, bits of knowledge gleaned here on the forums, things I see in stores. I've got a "journal" part of it where I write down *why* I make certain decisions - why did I choose this more expensive cabinet door over the cheaper one. Why did I do the OTR microwave instead of putting a countertop one on a shelf. Etc.

So whenever I have some doubt, I can go back and read all the justifications for why I did what I did. It helps. (At least I stopped obsessing about the microwave!)

I think it'll also help when you see how gorgeous it all turns out! At first you might see nothing but the flaws (and you are the *only* person who will see them!), but then you'll calm down and start seeing the big picture and you'll love it!!!

Hang in there.

Redroze,

Think about how many kitchens you have looked at while on GW! And many of them were designed after weeks, months, sometimes years of research and obsessing over each element. This undoubtedly sets a very high standard, but your gorgeous kitchen with white and dark cabinets, large island and everything else pretty much is definitely in the top-level here. It is one of those other GW-ers will be copying ideas from, so make sure to post those final pictures when all is done.

As far as second-guessing our choices, this is completely natural especially when the choice is as long-lasting as a sink or a cooktop. So had you chosen a gas cooktop, you would be probably wondering why you didn't go with electric.

I'm laughing about this thread because my GC just today when I argued with him about the under cabinet lights and the placement of an outlet, said, "it's the internet and HGTV making my life miserable." We're all better educated consumers thanks to this website, but I'm having to make myself let go of some of my obsessions. Just like the rest of you!

Sister Redroze- you are not alone! I think that fact we are all on this sight shows our obessive compulsive side. During my remodel my ugliest side came out. I was so picky about details; details no one else would probably have noticed. I went to pay my last payment yesterday to my KD. I couldn't look her in the eye. I felt so bad! It is a beautiful kitchen and I love how it turned out! It's just those little things like lopsided outlets and latches that I knew would drive me crazy!

Spending time on this sight is dangerous! I see so many kitchens I would love to have! In the end, I know I have the right kitchen for my house. Remember, this to shall pass, you will love your kitchen and your choices and you will return to your normal self!

Well, I'm in much better spirits now. I did a bunch of browsing today during my lunch hour and after work as hubby was out with his friend, and I started to get excited about picking counter stools. I also got the most adorable little sugar container...I'll have to do a close-up once I do the final kitchen photos! Shopping/browsing is often a good source of therapy!!

I also realized that the photos I took yesterday are not very good - drawers are out due to the granite install, tape on the glides, dirty floors, no faucets in yet, a BUNCH of stuff not in yet. I also just stared at it too long. I remember I was worrying when the cabinets were in was that there was too much contrast (light and dark), and now that the granite is in which creates a connection between the two, I felt that the granite brought too much connection. Yes, all say it with me: "silly Redroze".

I've read all your posts and enjoyed and really really appreciate all your stories. I can relate to all of them and that means a lot to me. You're right about the obsessive compulsive nature that many of us have. Hubby and I are both very detail-oriented...it works out well though. We just want to love everything we put in our home. And it's fun to overanalyze choices sometimes.

I think it's awesome to get some understanding from people who are like-minded. (And psst...I like you too Rmkitchen... generic username and all...haha.)

It's what the philosophers call the 'immanentization of the eschaton'-- in plain english, trying to bring heaven to earth.

Of course you want it nice, but perfection isn't a healthy goal. It isn't really hard to find flaws to pick at, in ANYTHING: The Mona Lisa has cracking paint and the shade of blue in the sky is one never seen in nature.

With me it was critical vs cost. I would love to have had a 6 burner stove, but settled for the standard 4 burner. I added so many other things, that the few things I didn't get sort of evens out.

I keep sayin', next house! LOL

It's a good point...we have an ideal and mind and want to achieve it, then get disappointed with the reality of it, and want it to be better. Ugh...I go through phases. I keep reminding myself - kitchens are for cooking and eating, not just standing around and looking pretty!!

It's like girl friends that I've had. Some were awfully pretty...but not very nice or even happy.