Hi Emily -- When hosting the extended family dinners, it's more a matter of...what CAN I serve? Amongst the lot of us all there are troubles with dairy, nuts, shrimp, sugar, squashes, olive oil, glutens...(and I'm a veg-e-try-ian: http://www.cafepress.com/+vegetryian_mousepad,97449492, http://www.cafepress.com/+barnhartgallery-vegetarian+gifts)

Doesn't leave much we can all enjoy together, but I usually put out a buffet of lots of selections, offer cheese or shrimp on the side as optional, etc. And when it's buffet, guests are always welcome but never required to bring "something they know they'll be able to have."

Here's Easter's Jambo with shrimp on the side, setting up the buffet table with my rabbit butler offering dairy relief pills. -- and something just for my MIL, whose only interest is dessert.

With regard to the school peanut-free table, I'm ever so grateful that my own youngster doesn't suffer from any food allergies -- his regular old allergies are scary enough when they kick in. But after one of his dear classmates nearly stopped breathing after exposure to peanuts at school, I guess I just don't understand parents who are put out by not being able to send their own kids to school with PB&J. I know it's the ultimate convenience food, and a tasty way to offer good protein, but if a child's life could be threatened, how can they not be happy to comply? Wouldn't they want the same if it were their child?

And how do I hide the open wine cellar from the occasional problem drinker...? Now there's a use for one of those sliding (and locking) barn doors! Cheers!

We don't have family with food allergies (though a daughter with severe pet allergies, we have no pets because of her and her allergy limits where we can stay overnight when traveling) but our old neighbors have a son with severe allergies, including peanut allergy. Sad to say, but they were our only friends we didn't invite over for dinner. :( I think we were just frozen by fear. :( We have both since moved away from that neighborhood and live across the country from each other now, but I always feel bad we didn't ever share a meal together. I think it would be easier now as our children are older and they have a better idea of his allergens... They were still discovering a lot of them back then.

I did have some friends over whose children had some different sensitivities (not life threatening allergies) to different and common foods.... And I was able to work with the mother and provide some snacks and a dessert that everyone was able to enjoy together. But it was a lot of work when it came to thinking and planning as her children had different and varying issues and all combined made for a very limited selection. I did appreciate the mom's guidance and help for sure! I do remember the snacks consisted of mostly fresh fruit and vegetables.

Our family has food allergy issues. Our six year old granddaughter has a lot of allergies, many to foods. We now have an epi-pen for her when she is here. Her mother (our daughter) probably has some issues and is now going through some testing. I have a sensitivity to gluten (not celiac's) and a few more foods. My husband does not eat gluten free but he is willing to try almost anything that I make. Most whole foods are naturally gluten free so that is mostly what we eat. He is very careful about how he fixes food for himself and we have designated prep areas for each of us and some separate appliances/cooking tools like toasters and spatulas. It works out well and it is now not even an inconvenience.

I am a person who is dangerously allergic to MANY foods: soy, peanuts, all squashes, several grains, etc.

In my opinion, you are NEVER out of line asking someone who is allergic to a variety of things to either bring along a dish that they know they can eat (whether or not you are having a pot luck event), or suggest a simple recipe for a main dish that you can prepare for them. The onus is really on the dinner guest to speak up before hand--not to just show up an announce that they are allergic and can't eat anything, etc. And of course, no hostess wants a guest to die because of what she serves (LOL).

At the very least, if someone cannot eat salad with feta and olive oil (which I hope you would have on hand for dinner guest emergencies) and water, then it is really the guest's problem that they didn't coordinate with you beforehand.

My granddaughter is allergic to cats, so we found a new home for our cat. She has a LOT of food allergies. She now lives with us (17 years old) and goes with me to the grocery store and picks out her own food. She helps cooking meals and either reminds me the things she can't eat to see if they're necessary to the recipe. If it would change the recipe too much, she makes her own version for herself leaving out the things she's allergic to or she makes something else.

Good morning everybody,

In our family, I am the one with a kind of foodallergy. I cannot eat fruits with kernels like apples, pears, abricot, cherries, peaches, prunes. So I avoid them. If I do eat a part of them, I have to eat something very different directly after it. I just miss the good taste of this all but discovered that when I put them for several hours in yoghurt that I don't have an allergy reaction at that time. This change by me started some months after the birth of my 3rd child.

But the saddest thing is for my brother. He is allergic to chemicals in food. Till now we don't know exactly which one. It is four years that it started and took several months for my sister in law to found out what it is. Everytime he ate a product where wheat was in it, he felt in a coma. Due to this he lost quite some daily habits (like meditating) or memories. It affects his brain but also his kidneys. Drinking a lot of water, eating aspargus helps at those moments as my sister in law now see the changes coming into his eyes before he falls in a coma. Recently he lost his job as they think he has epilepsy. Last month they finally could put a name to this : MCS (multi chemical sensitivity) They hope that bloodtests will reveal what exactly is bringing him in such bad conditions. Meanwhile everything they buy as food is organic. Only lot of doctors deny that chemicals are the culprit while the mondaine people experience more and more foodintolerances and bakers, butchers ... are updated about it.

I'm vegan and DH gets sick from beef and must limit soy. My friend of 20+ years just moved from across the country to live with us (fresh start). She's highly allergic to dairy. Both she and DH are excellent cooks (I clean). And we have wonderful Asian and Mexican restaurants for dinners out. We also saw the film "Bought" and now only get items marked Non-GMO. Needless to say, we're all eating much healthier nowadays.

My youngest son has severe allergies to peanut/tree-nut, dairy and soy. Unless we are visiting someone who is accustomed to cooking for food allergies - we always bring food for my son to eat. Despite precautions, most folks have cross contaminated ingredients in their homes (the example I always use - how many of us use the same measuring cup to scoop up flour and sugar when baking - you just contaminated your sugar for someone with wheat issues). Dealing with food allergies is complicated and I agree with an earlier post - you should never expect your host to deal with the allergies because despite their best intentions, there could be issues.

I am allergic to alliums (garlic, onion etc) I agree with Lyone and J.

Keep it simple ... or just ask them to bring what they can eat.

For people like us, it truly is about the company, we can always eat later!

Chemical food allergy is difficult to find. I had tests done and the doctor found many allergies but there were two he couldn't find. So try to read all labels. Yellow No. 5 is a petroleum derived chemical which many people add to foods, and even added to body creams etc. This chemical, also with different names, is quite toxic to people sensitive to chemicals. Read your labels. Also MSG which I'm sure you all know about.

However, to all you people out there who have allergies to many foods, think of this next time someone says "o poor you!" Having reactions to allergies is a blessing, not a curse! It means we know what's killing us and we can avoid them. Many people don't know what's killing them.

For example, why would someone out of the blue get an ulcer in their mouth? Allergy. Sea food gives me ulcers. Nitrates make me weak, wheat and gluten give me bumps around my waist, yellow No. 5 gives me welts, MSG makes my knees and ankles hurt, etc.

And please don't wish you could eat the foods you loved so much when you know they are killing you. Just keep making adjustments, eat what makes you comfortable, and enjoy your life.

@masiba. Allergic to: apples, pears, abricot, cherries, peaches, prunes? I am, too. I finally got the name of it: tree birch allergy. Look it up! For me, I can have these if baked or cooked.

We have a son who needs an epi-pen for nut allergies and I had a hard time convincing relatives that only putting nuts on half the casserole means he can eat any of it. If they are cooked in the same dish and served with same spoon the risk is too great. Unlike some families we still allow others to eat nuts around him but make sure to avoid cross contamination. I bake the first batch of cookies without nuts and put them in a special tin for him. Then I add nuts to the rest and bake those to store separately. I am now very aware of labeling potluck dishes.

Wow. So many different allergies. Have they always existed, or do they exist more now because we are doing something wrong?

Indeed, there are now hundreds of thousands of people suffering with allergies. They probably existed before, but I can assure you not at the extent it does now.. More and more people are contracting auto immune diseases. So many new names of diseases to keep up with. New more incurable auto immune diseases keep cropping up. The list is long and the symptoms are varied.

A I'm guessing some of the reasons are food manufacturers, meat producers are adding ingredients to enhance their products, feeding animals and birds with products to hasten growth, spraying chemicals on crops to reap better yields, and these things are hurting us. Not to mention as we get further and further away from perfection our bodies are less and less tolerant to what we are being fed.

My husband is allergic to nitrites and nitrates. They give him migraines. I am allergic to shrimp. I get hives from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Too bad for sure, and there are lots of other foods to enjoy! Think of all the people in the world who are hungry!

to missmgrrl, yes I learned it is due to the birch. Also beside having allergy for those fruits I mentioned earlier, I have some sping hayfever. From half february till half of may, I take in beepollen. This prevents me to have itchy eyes, sneezings and a runny nose. Once this period is over, than I don't need those pollen anymore.
It's time that love for Mother Earth is reaching also those ones who decide to "poison" us bit by bits, through air, water and food.

lanleeseyom makes a great point about the weird things we feed animals......one thing about factory farming that most people do not realize--especially in China, but also here in the US--is that we have made all of our food animals into cannibals. This is a VERY new thing in the food chain that never existed before the past 30-40 years. We feed farm animals that are naturally only vegetarians--grazing animals and grain eaters--processed body parts from dead animals of their own species.

We do this with pigs, cows, chickens, etc. This is how the mad cow disease spread through Europe a few years ago. But do we know what other effects it might be having on the food chain? Then we eat the animals who have eaten like this, and have children.......Also, factory farmed fish, which largely comes from China now, is typically fed farm animal waste.

And none of this even gets into the broad use of pesticides and herbicides on plants that we (and food animals) eat.

I think that it may be a combination of factors that has caused what appears to be an increase in allergies. Most people did not eat such a large variety of foods back in the old days. They ate whatever was local to them. Also, if they were severely allergic to something native to their area, they probably died young. Then, there are the various modern day additives, so entirely new allergies have come into existence. Some MD's believe that children who are exposed earlier to certain things are less likely to become allergic to them later on, but it appears that there are some inherent allergies that would cause problems no matter what. I believe that an extreme peanut allergy is one that just happens to a certain percent of people and there is nothing to prevent it.

As someone with sensitivities to gluten, corn and soy AND MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities, like masiba mentioned above), finding safe foods is difficult. I tend to be the one who hosts family dinners. I do all the cooking (with family members as sous chefs) and make tasty enough foods that the family doesn't miss what I can't have.

It's definitely on the person with allergies to talk to the host/ess beforehand. I always, always do. And usually, I'll end up making some sort of dessert. I want to go to a party and enjoy myself.

My little sister has a severe gluten allergy, which makes her nauseous, her body ache, and she doesn't remember things. It once took her at least 30 seconds to remember her name! We have gone gluten free, but I miss it. I'm just glad she feels better though, because almost all good had been making her sick for as long as she can remember!

*food

I recently discovered that I was allergic to gluten as well. It has been a relief to figure out what I am allergic to and what is causing all those really weird symptoms like bloating and swollen joints and other little things that people rarely pay attention to. I have been struggling with something like that for a while now and it never occurred to me that all my problems were caused but a food intolerance. I am grateful that my GP thought about the possibility of that and sent to do a food intolerance test. Turns out I am allergic to gluten and some other minor condiments. Since I stopped ingesting gluten I did notice a change in my overall being. So never disregard the minor symptoms. They might be masking something larger.