And, you might want to find the words to write him a note explaining why. Be careful of course to not sound too emotional.... or shall I say "over the top" ... or he will discount what you have to say.

You can choose a vet the same way you choose your doctor - get recommendations from people you know, ask them questions about their experience and approach, find one you can work with. And for some of us, that means a vet that knows how to be there and care for the PEOPLE too, as well as for the animal patient. This is especially important with chronic illnesses or end of life issues. My dear vet last year spent over an hour on the phone with me as I wept and weighed my options re: whether to euthanize my very ill 22 yr old cat - it's really not unrealistic to expect some basic caring - just one human being to another.

Or, if he's a talented vet in other regards - just lacking in empathy and social skills - perhaps continue and appreciate his talents, but know you'll have to find someone else if/when the time comes.

What a terribly sad story. Did he at least figure out what had happened with the cat and why it died ?

kashka_cat,

What a great post. Much better than my simple suggestion to find another Vet!!!!!

The sad thing also is that he didn't know about this woman. Maybe she lived alone and her cat was her only companion. This one woman regarded her cat as a family member. I certainly do.

If I saw something like this, my second reaction (as my first would just be 'being bummed out') is to wonder if there's more to what I saw, especially since you know this vet to be very knowledgeable.

It's possible that this vet and the staff acted the way they did in order to keep from alarming any other animals in the building. Animals can be very attuned to the atmosphere around them, and if more than one person is panicked and yelling, regardless of their reasons for doing so, it could incite even more stress.

The vet's personal response to you could have been a reaction to something he knows about the pet owner, what he found during his examination of the pet, or he was emotionally drained or irritated.

I agree with kashka_kat. If you want to consider keeping with this vet, consider writing a letter or email. Maybe, think of it as less a complaint and more 'this is what I saw and what I heard, and it affected me. Can you help me come to a better understanding so I feel better about coming in again?' There's probably even better wording for that, but hopefully you get the idea. You don't want to place the vet or the staff on the defensive, but you can open a channel for them to help you.

I agree with your reaction, Sephia. I can understand the veterinary staff remaining calm during the episode. They have likely and appropriately been trained to do so. However, the vet's response to you after the woman left was completely unprofessional, discompassionate, and inexcusable. Even if the vet was having a bad day or had a problematic previous relationship with that client, it doesn't excuse his comment to you or his demonstrated lack of sympathy.

If this vet is highly skilled and is exceptionally good with your animals, those qualities may be valuable enough to you to maintain him as a veterinary consultant for your non-human family. But now you know that you can not rely on compassion from this man You also know that he may take it upon himself to demean you to other clients. He probably did you a favor by showing you his true character. Now you have a broader perspective with which to evaluate him as a veterinary professional.

Laurie

I had a shocking experience at a vet some years back. It involved my very sick cat, and I still tear up thinking about it. I wrote a letter to the vet describing what I experienced. She had the decency to call me immediately and apologize sincerely. I forgave her but still chose to withdraw my patronage and go elsewhere due to the bad memories. I am convinced that my letter helped her to see her situation better (it involved a staff member) and take action to prevent the problem in the future.

I have never encountered such a lack of empathy or professional concern at any of the 3 vet clinics I've frequented over the last 50 or 60 years. If I did I would absolutely find a different vet. All of the vet clinics where I have been a client are AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) certified, and they have very strict standards of care. I would advise, if you do change vets, to seek an AAHA certified clinic. I would be extremely upset at witnessing such inappropriate behavior by staff or doctor, as you were, and it would be splitsville for me.

A letter, as suggested by Kashka_kat, is a good idea so that this doctor will know what led his clinic to lose a client. I do think though that this doctor lacks a fundamental empathy and professionalism, and that he has passed this attitude onto his staff. He doesn't sound redeemable to me.

On edit, I'm remembering my past experiences when I have had to have my old pets euthanized at the ends of their lives. Sympathy was overwhelming from doctors and staff alike. I have been hugged, handed Kleenex, my deceased pets were handled with respect, wrapped in blankets, and I have received hand written notes of condolence from staff members a day or so later. These small kindnesses resonate greatly at a time of sadness. I'm betting that the poor woman with her dying cat received none of these. It makes me feel very sad for her.