Nicely said Deborah

All of the options.

My biggest fear was, and is, that he will keep going on holiday. or that his workmen will.

janbhan - I hope they don't go on holiday too much and have the project continue into the holiday!

The neighbors behind us did an attic renovation for a master suite. It took 2 years. The contractor and subs, when they did show up, worked a couple of hours a week. They went two weeks without water, waiting for the plumbers. The very thought of that is horrible. I deal with small firms, that do a project at a time.

1 Design every last detail out- FIRST

2 Price it out properly with a reputable contractor you can trust

3 Revise design and selections if budget is too high

4 Get a schedule

5 START construction

Its not quite as simple as these 5 steps, but this is the jist of it ;)

I always hear from people that some contractors asked to be paid a lot of money before the project even starts. Then after they pay nothing really happens. You should never give anyone huge amounts of money before the work starts.

I have known so many people who were so miserable. And knowing the people, i know that at the very least the designers were well vetted. i have met some here that i would trust. I have met many here who come in and just knock the ops on the head. I have heard some great ones speak, who seem like they really want to help you. But it feels like if i can not afford one of the big names, the chances of it being more about what i want and less what they want is slim to none. And i really don't need to be belittled because i do not understand why I can't do it my way.

@havingfun, I am so sorry that you feel that way. I think understanding and communication - as well as patience with a client - is key. It is your space and contractors should be willing to work with you by keeping projects in stages that keep you comfortable. Have you ever inquired how they work? Of course, not every project can be doe is stages but some can and you won't know until you inquire.

I love the concept of being an Architectural Alchemist, that is really neat idea. It is ok Caroline, I don't want to knock you, or make you feel you have to defend everyone, I was just describing what i had seen. I just try to express what i think because many are to shy to say. I am in my late 50s and disabled now, unless i hit the lotto, my days of maybe affording one are over. i think if you are honest with yourself and travel around houzz, you will see what i am talking about. Or you won't, which is apparently ok too, because there are many who agree with these professionals. Perhaps, some of us don't get it, because we come from a more scientific approach or something. And those who get it, lose patience, because they think you are being obstinate.

In the meantime, have a wonderful holiday season!

@Havingfun, my words came from a sincere place when I said I was sorry to hear you felt that way. It saddens me - personally - to hear that these are things consumers feel. Your input is valuable to anyone that reads this thread and perhaps,it may change the way others conduct business in the future. I teach my interns that "it is never about you, the design professional, but always about the client." Btw, I have seen a little of what you refer to around this platform and on others. I think educating the consumer as you go is vital to a working relationship and finally pleasing the client.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Thank you for your candor....

We work with many contractors and it so important to get a reputable contractor. We find that no matter what they say, take it as a grain of salt. However, getting a good referral from a friend or someone in the industry can be worth its weight in gold!

I think a solution could come from new technologies: hire professionals who use BIM processes.

[What is BIM?[(https://www.houzz.com/discussions/what-is-bim-dsvw-vd~3549957)

All of the above and more. Will I be able to "connect" with the contractor? Can s/he see my vision? Are my ideas practical and will they really work? How can I know it's being done correctly if my knowledge base is inadequate for the work being done?

I'm currently considering adding a butler's pantry to my home. Will it be worth the time and money? I look at furniture pieces that could potentially do the job but the price for them seems to be close to that of adding on the room (haven't actually priced it out yet but I know what I plan to spend). Does building a room to store items used only once or twice a year make financial sense? On and on and on. All the wavering back and forth gives me motion sickness so I just put off making a decision.

I understand some of the things Havingfun mentioned. But like any industry or community, there are good and bad alike. Not every professional is going to be a dream to work with just as not ever consumer is going to be the perfect client. The trick, I think, is somewhat like finding a life partner. You have to really communicate and make sure you understand each other. Never assume someone can read your mind. I've always thought it funny how some people love a particular professional and others don't. It's all about finding the right match.

I strongly recommend talking to others for references. Also visiting the references provided by the contractor. Depending on the job I visit recent and those reference from a year or more complete. Why? I did a patio and wanted to see how the job held up. If people are very satisfied they welcome the visit and if they are not happy you can get an ear full. Since I know people in some of the trades, I often involve them in the estimate process and ask them for references.

As homeowners I feel the best we can do for one another is to share our experiences even when we do things wrong. This way we learn what to do for the next project.

whynot you are so right, but it is almost like someone else wanted a book to do it, and i totally get that. if you don't know how to describe in their language how do you get points across? And lets face it those with enough funds to do this type of work, normally don't have gobs of time to build that relationship.

It kinda reminds me of when i was younger, I used to get a perm every 6 months or so. worked with the same stylist for years. Always first month uggh, next few months, much better, 2 months wonderful, time for a new one. One day my mom thinks she can improve this. We discuss having longer hair with curls, we describe several famous people with longer curly locks. I walk out with an 8 inch fro!

falalala lalala

I think it depends on the contractor. We love building relationships with our clients. Even after their house is built, we still go back when they call us. Whether or not it's for general maintenance or if the client would like a new room renovated. Like others have commented, its always good to do research on the builder you are thinking of going with.

This poll almost matches the NARI poll. Houzz users are more concerned with the quality of the work. Interesting outcome even with a small number of votes.

That it would NEVER be DONE!

amen sister!

All the above, because even with personal recommendations, and references, we've experienced them all!

I put money, but them not having the same taste that I have has already happened. It led to headaches and one room in my house, which I don't like.

The rest of the house is being done with someone who listens for understanding of who I am, rather than has their own tastes for my house.

Sorry to hear D. L.