Paint the cabinets white (try BM white heron) then go with a white marble backsplash. Paint the walls in a soft gray, try SW pavestone or BM gray owl. Remove the top railing on the cabinets to update the look.

If you choose to use a white tile against white cabinets, try testing some samples that have texture so that the tile pops against the cabinetry as opposed to competing against it.

the whites do not have to "match". It is just about impossible to have 2 different materials match exactly. Have fun with this, and get what you like.

I would paint the cabinets bm decorators white which is clean white. white glass backsplash stacked would be great. Go for a contrast on the counters nero assoluto granite is pure black. do get ride of the rail and the apron over the fridge to update the look and change up your hardware to polished nickel. If you are changing the appliances you have more options for countertops.