I was so same way and they talked me out of it. My husband really wanted NOT white since our old kitchen was white. (And it was work, keeping it clean.). Instead, we chose very light maple, it almost looks natural. It's more modern than I had anticipated, but I like it. It serves the purpose of not bring dark and heavy yet not White.
Also, I went on a house tour and saw white kitchens and realized they were nothing special- that to get the features I wanted, I would have to spend a fortune! I would suggest at least considering other finishes so you can narrow down what you like/don't like.

We have light-ish maple kitchen cabinets and they've been fine with not staining. I've never had white/light cabinets but have always loved them. I have to say, though, that oak cabinets have always looked kind of cheap to me. I'd steer clear of them. I compromised on my hardwood floors and have had buyer's remorse for a year now. Get what you love and you'll be happy. If your youngest is elementary aged, you're on your way to easier times wrt the cabinets.

Light maple cabinets --

Thanks for your comments. It's good to get others' opinions.

What did you decide? We are having our Oak cabinets painted cream color in two days. I'm just tired of all the wood grain that the oak has. If I was getting new cabinets I'd probably get maple.

I've always had white kitchens and have never found them hard to keep clean. OTOH, I have only one child....

We haven't made any definite decisions yet. I still would like to go with a cream color and make it look like a farmhouse kitchen. My husband is pretty set with the oak, which is what will most likely happen. I'm not sure I'm going to like it, but sometimes you have to compromise. Thanks again for all your advice. I'll let you know what happens. Ground breaks next week, I think.

May I suggest, if you end up with oak, choosing quarter sawn? It will look much nicer and have a Craftsman farmhouse feel to it. Otherwise oak cabinets can look busy (from the grain pattern) and outdated. But I'm rooting for the white farmhouse kitchen.

Here's one of my favorite Craftsman kitchens with both white cabinets and a quarter sawn oak island. Maybe suggest a compromise?

YES! I LOVE THIS LOOK!, even the pulls. I'm glad you showed me this pic. I've been wondering what stainless steel appliances would look like with this color. Although, we are not going with an island, I love the different wood. I'm hoping to go with a large wood kitchen table that can double as a prep area if needed. I've always liked the feel of an eat-in kitchen. Thanks a bunch for your input.

Here's another compromise
http://houzz.com/photos/155122

No to oak- it is so out dated. Men like oak, but who uses the kitchen...lol? Oak was the thing to have in the 90s and now everyone is trying to figure out how to get rid of it. Of course as suggested above- the quarter sawn look is sooo much better. Maple is a wonderful option, too.

I really like my natural cherry cabinets! Walnut is very nice too. I'm not fond of oak.