I used a family member to buy my current home. And while it was okay, I don't know if I'd do it again. I think I felt more pressure than I would have if I had used someone that I didn't have another relationship with. However, the family member I used was also part time and a newer agent, and so some of the hiccups that I ran into were probably due to his lack of experience. It may have been a smoother process if he had been more experienced.

However, I didn't use that same family member to sell my old house. I knew I had to have the ability to fire my realtor if the relationship didn't work out. I'd didn't need to do that, but I also know that my family member was ill equipped to sell my house after working with him to buy a home. And personally, I'd didn't want someone I knew or was related to knowing details like how much I owed on my mortgage and what I needed to clear.

I think it can work out, if the relationship remains professional, and if your house sells quickly. I think when the house selling and buying process drags out that it can sour a friendship/relationship.

To buy, yes. In fact, we have and no problem. But like emma said, it's different selling. It would be really hard to be firm when disagreeing with a friend or relative, and even harder to fire them. That would end a friendship.

I used a realtor known to me socially both to buy and to sell. A cousin to my BIL we see a few times a year, for a couple of decades. He had the listing for this house which belonged to a friend of ours. We hadn't been looking or even considering moving, when it occurred to DH how much he loved the house, and we bought it. A flawless but strictly business transaction with honest communication among friends, he was the listing agent, served as our buyer's agent, and when I had updated our former house a few months later to ready to show, he sold that for me too.

His reputation impeccable, he had retired from a lucrative real estate career in a major city nearby. Having earned enough to retire rather young and live full time at his weekend home. Then became a bit restless in a beach community's winter, thought he might sell a little again and now is managing broker at a beach-front firm ;0) His attention to detail made everything easy all around, I'd use him again in a heartbeat.

Thank you for all the input. This person is not a really close friend but a good acquaintance. I do feel as was mentioned, giving his competition the job when we're friendly with him just seems wrong somehow ;) I guess I have some thinking to do!

I started with a Realtor that was referred to me by a loan officer at the company I used to work for. We had a falling out right before he listed my house. I turned to someone I went to high school with, that I knew worked full time as a Realtor and who I felt I could trust and would tell me the truth.

I could and she did, she listed my house, we sold it and then she helped me find a new house to buy. There was a rough time period where I had sold and couldn't find anything to buy, but it worked out and we found a great house for me to buy. We are closer friends now.

I refer her to other friends, she is a tiger and I would rather be on her side than not on her side.

There is a saying about friends and money and I will point that out before you jump in. I think friends as realtors usually works out just fine and sometimes gives an advantage, but when it does go bad, it can go very bad. Other friends and acquaintances often end up involved, because the relationship was never just professional. Having said all this, I became close friends with my realtor and used him afterward, but I did so knowing that if something bad happened I wouldn't blame him.

Our realtor in selling our California house was my best friend. I know that she is incredibly detail oriented and honest to a fault. She also has ADHD, and I am constantly pulling her back to subject when she goes on a tangent. She's had 35+ years in the business, and has done well. I also know that she has a 'partner' in the office who doesn't have ADHD, and also keeps her on track.

Her DIL was very ill when we started the process, and passed away suddenly right after we had a buyer. The partner helped pick up the odds and ends for a few days. Now, since I know my friend quite well, it was easy for me to talk to her. We had a difficult buyer, a micromanaging jerk whose own agent was afraid of him. We also had a major septic tank fail (unexpected $12,000), so she heard me cuss and cry.

I would not have had it any other way.

No, because it's not an "arm's length transaction." For example, my next door neighbor is a realtor. As a seller, I want the best price, terms, etc., and I don't give a hoot what the buyer's race, color, creed, sexual orientation, etc., might be. But as a homeowner, my neighbor realtor might not see it that way, she might have another agenda. She might prefer a certain type of person to buy my home. Now it might not be as blatant as that, but there might be other circumstances where the realtor's agenda conflicts with yours, more than it already does.

When the situation goes sour, and the realtor is merely a business acquaintance, you "fire" them and use someone else, happens every day. But when it's a neighbor, friend, or relative, the situation could get extremely awkward, such that you are forced to choose between your business interests and the relationship. Real estate is stressful enough, why add more stress?

Thanks again for all the input! Food for thought!

Explain to them that you don't mix friendship and business. Then ask for a referral. They may at least get some kind of "finder's fee" that way or at least the person that they refer you to may reciprocate in the future.

If they have a problem with that, then they aren't being professional and using them would have been a nightmare anyways.

Win-Win.

I worked for a jock broker who spent huge amounts of time with his rugby team pals. I never saw him more furious than when he told me a close teammate out of the blue told him, "I just listed my house with another agent. Hope you don't mind!"

Of course, if you think the friend/realtor is a compleat incompetent, feel free to look elsewhere. (As my late Mom always said, "Why would anyone buy a house you built. I certainly wouldn't!")

I just referred an acquaintance to a realtor yesterday. While we were discussing selling her home, she admitted that she had hired a friend from the fancy big city real estate firm. This friend listed and sold a half a dozen other nearby properties by virtue of her friends for sale sign in her friend's yard. But, the fancy agent failed to sell her house. Wasted two years of the seller's time. The seller had a hard time firing her friend. She finally resorted to taking if off the market to break the listing.

Now, she wants to sell and needs an agent. I advised the seller to use a local agent that was experienced, competent and still hungry for business. This agent's biggest talent is determining the market price of a property. She doesn't under price it for a quick sale and over price it to lure in potential listings. She gets it right the first time. She brings in staging experts where necessary. Her listing pictures are professional. Best of all, she shows up when she says she will.

I once purchased a home using a friend with a new real estate license. I did most of the work. When I went to sell the home, I used someone else with more experience and contacts. He sold it the day it was listed. My friend never forgave me for not giving her the listing. It proved to be a very difficult closing. I'm glad I had the experienced agent to help with that closing.

Bottom line, it's hard to fire a relative or a friend. It's better to start off with someone else.

I did, to sell two homes and buy one. The agent team (husband/wife) were full time, professional agents with a good track record. I met them when our children were in the same preschool class and since we lived in the same community I got to know them well over the years. Working with them was a great experience, I felt like they were very invested in getting a good outcome for each transaction since we were friends.

I wouldn't but I've never known a high caliber professional real estate agent as a friend or even acquaintance. The one time I used an agent to sell I went with someone who had an excellent reputation and track record in my community. As far as buying I don't care who I use because I do all my own research online and use a real estate attorney for the paperwork. All I use an agent for when buying is the showings.

You should only hire a friend if you can completely treat it as a business relationship. That means expect of them what you expect of a stranger, give them feedback if they're not meeting your needs, and fire them if they're not doing their job. If you can't picture yourself doing the above, then don't do it.

If you're not sure if you could, then interview the friend plus at least 2 other agents (that you've researched and believe are potentially good fits). Ask all of them the same questions and see if you can be just as tough on the friend as you are on the others. If not, don't pick your friend. And if you're more impressed by the others than your friend, pick the one you're most impressed with.

NEVER hire an agent because you feel like you "should." If the friend is the type that would be offended by your not hiring them, or would break off the friendship if things didn't go well in the transaction, those are red flags to avoid hiring them.

If you do use someone other than the agent you are friends with, please tell him/her first, and why. It comes as a nasty shock otherwise.

Thank you again for all the input. I think we've decided to go with the guy we know. I don't foresee any issues with doing so. Hopefully I'm right ;)

If you know the guy well, feel free to do as I did with my friend.... yell, holler, curse, and let off steam if anything goes wrong. A true friend will be honest with you, and in return, you can speak what you feel.

I guess this may be a true test of a real friendship!

NEVER EVER mix business with friendship. It never works.