If I'm understanding the result you want, I think you should look at the Kohler Hydrorail, which is specifically designed for retrofits. They are gorgeous, and work well. They attach to your existing plumbing, look slick, and do not even require you to swap out your old valve. To bathe, turn on the tub faucet. To divert to shower, lift the tub spout diverter the old fashioned way. The shower column comes on. It has its own little switch that allows you to chose either hand shower, main shower, or both. The position you leave the little switch in is the position it returns to next time you lift the tub spout diverter. But yes, it DOES require a spout diverter, but that looks way cleaner to me than a wall diverter or two.

There is a lot of good info here, and several Houzz pics. Here is a pic of ours, which we are using a lot while our MB is being renovated. I love it more every day, and if I had it to do over again, I'd be putting it in the new MB. We chose the arched column and a rainhead, but there are many options on Kohler.com. Good luck finding something that will work for you!

@MizLizzie Thanks for the info!! My problem is that I really like the tub spout I found, but it doesn't have a diverter on it.

What brand is the tub spout?

Manufacturers describe things differently at times, but look for a "4-port diverter valve".

One port will be water in, the other three ports will outflow to the tub spout, the fixed, head, and the handheld.

Some valves are all in one. They have the water volume ON/OFF, temp selector, and diverter all in one valve.

Some manufacturers market them individually. You'll buy a supply valve that will give you ON/OFF and temperature selection, and the outflow from that supply valve will feed the IN port on the previously mentioned 4-port diverter.

Do understand that when you shop, you'll be shopping for valve bodies AND valve trim kits. The valve body is a cast piece of brass that gets buried in the wall. The trim kit is the pretty (chrome, nickel, ORB, etc) piece that covers the hole in the wall and hides the valve body. In general, you buy them separately, but you need to make sure that the trim kit is compatible with the valve body.

So, for the most part, you can either get:

1) the all-in-one valve body and then get a trim kit for that all-in-one valve

OR

2) you can get the water supply (on/off/temp) valve body and a trim kit for that valve, and a diverter valve body and a trim kit for the diverter valve.

Since you have a tub spout that you like, you'll probably want to get the shower valve trim kit(s) in from the same design group as the spout. Find that rim kit, then websites will usually contain links to find the valve body that fits the trim kit(s) you are looking at.

Good luck!

Is there a reason you want a separate fixed head and a handheld? I've only had handhelds on bars for the last 25 years, and see no benefit to having a fixed head in addition.

@catbuilder I was fine with just a fixed head in the design but other half wants to add the handheld. So you know the saying, lol happy wife........

@MongoCT and @homepro01 Thanks for the advice guys!! this really helped!!

@kats737 the brand that I want is a hansgrohe