I'm in Minnesota so maybe similar to ND. For a "formal" church wedding I'd wear a nice dress/skirt/pants outfit that's not casual but not blingy. I would not wear black to a wedding though I know people do. I might if it was a small, intimate evening event but not a traditional daytime church affair. DH would wear a suit and tie - not necessarily dark but that's probably what he has on hand.

If I were you, given that you never dress up, I wouldn't go buy a new dress. I think what you've described is just fine for all of you. I have worn black to a number of weddings all over the country and haven't felt one bit out of place. In ND it still might be quite cool at the end of the month, so you might just want a wrap or sweater or something to wear over the dress - you could select a wrap/sweater that is in a color if you have any doubt about wearing all black.

I think your daughter can get away with anything. That's the whole point of being 18. :)

But you don't want to both wear black or you'll look like the Addams Family.

I can't really offer fashion advice but I'm such a terrible person I think asking people to dress formally for an affair THAT long is...uh well, I'd send my regrets.

It's funny. Black will be fine for the wedding you describe. Since you don't have time in between to change than that is what you will wear the whole day. I think it's fine for your daughter to wear black as well.

My Dh wears a charcoal gray suit to weddings. At the last wedding we attended, very few men wore black suits.

You will find a mixture of apparel. You will be appropriate with those who dress down or those who dress up. Those who dress up more formally probably have that fancy dress from something else.

Thank you all, and LOL, no, I don't want to look like blonde Morticia and Wednesday, so I'll let the kid wear the black dress. What about a long, flowy skirt and a dressy blouse? I have a beautiful vintage wrap skirt and a cotton lawn white blouse, will that work? And for my husband, either we buy a suit (waste of $$, he's a teacher) or he goes in his good khakis, sounding like khakis. And did I mention over 500 guests guests were invited? Hoping we can fade into the background, but as we are close family, not as far back as I'd like. I am paranoid because the only other "out of region" wedding I ever attended was in the deep south (mid 1990's), I wore a sundress and sandals and was decidedly underdressed, and the only woman there not in pantyhose and closed toe shoes.

Thank you all again, and fori, WRT regrets, I wish, but not an option. And I am looking forward to seeing everyone, I'd just rather be in my Title 9 skort and Merrell sandals while doing so.

Maybe a maxi skirt/dress for the occasion? Then it doesn't matter what shoes you wear if you're careful!

(and I wonder why nobody ever invites me anywhere nice....)

that's what I found

https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet

I don't see a problem you both wearing black, since you can accessorize it so differently..but if anything since it's much easier to find something for a young girl I'd wear black myself and let my daughter pick something else for the occasion.

(I hate formal attire so i feel for you:)

These days I think formal attire means no jeans, t shirts, shorts, or flip flops! But we attended a very formal, almost mid $6 figure wedding last year and the father of the bride changed into shorts and a Hawaiian shirt after dinner as did some others. Some men wore no ties, some no jacket. Most women wore dresses but I don't like them and wore linen pants and top with dressy sandals and jewelry.

I think what you have planned is absolutely fine and ok if you and DD wear black. Bet you'll see people at the wedding who are more casually dressed than your family as well as more formal.

I would never wear black to a wedding unless It was a specifically designated black and white event. I would start with the venue and go from there-- is it a formal venue?

I don't think there's anything wrong with a long skirt as long as it can be dressed up. Unless there's a special cut or sheen to the white button down, I think i'd look for something else.

I saw MANY beautiful size 10 dresses for under 100 on saks off fifth earlier today-- (also neiman marcus' Last Call) in a range of styles. I would definitely go with something you can wear again.. a summer style that can be dressed up or down with heels vs flip flops, jewelry, etc.

Your husbands nice navy jacket/khakis should be fine.

I have no problem with you and your daughter both your wearing black dresses. Add some pretty jewelry and you're set.

I'd have my husband consider a nice pair of grey slacks to go with his blue blazer though.

Remember no one cares what you wear to a wedding. Unless you are the bride. :)

Yes, yes and yes! All 3 outfits are suitable for an evening reception, which is really what you are dressing for. Do not feel the need to buy anything special to attend the wedding. What you have, and most importantly, what you all feel most comfortable wearing is key. You will see all kinds clothing! Most women do wear LBD's at the weddings I attend. Black is indeed ok for weddings!

Lakeaffect, I don't think a suit for your DH is a waste of money. My DH is retired and when he worked he only wore jeans. But, he has two suits in a rotation. There are always weddings and funerals that come up, so why not be prepared? Men's suits stay in style for years.

Other thoughts. Have you really looked at your dress? Sometimes black can lose its luster. Have you tried it on lately? Make sure it still fits and is comfortable, no surprises at the last minute.

First of all, I doubt anyone would "tsk tsk" any of these choices. I am continually surprised at what people wear at "formal" events. So be it.

That said, personally, I think khakis and a blazer are not formal enough for a formal wedding, id go with a suit for DH.

I think all black for you and DD is suboptimal, but not a no-no.

I almost always wear black and also wear black to weddings. I bought a black dress to wear as mob to dd26's wedding. Dd said ok as long as I do not wear a black t shirt. Fair enough.

I think I'd "lighten up" the black with some sort of colorful jewelry and maybe a non-black bag. There. Done. :-)

I think I see a touch of black in this purse:

And depending on your style, repeat the blue in jewelry. Just an example!

I see black worn at weddings although I can't remember if I have ever worn it myself. I think like Sue said, your accessories can make a big difference. I also agree with your husband wearing a suit instead of sports-coat and pants.

If there will be 500 guests, attire will probably be all over the fashion spectrum, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. What you have described for your outfits sounds fine to me especially with some colorful accessories to punch up the party vibe. As someone else suggested, grey pants for your Hubby would probably be better than the Khakis and I don't think he needs to buy a suit unless he'd like to have one for other occasions.

I I agree that grey slacks for your husband is a better idea. Your daughter is 18, so she gets a hall pass. I think black for you is fine, but it needs to be current or timeless, fit perfectly and have no imperfections. Maybe wear a print scarf for the wedding and trade out for jewelry for the evening.

Maybe you should post a pic of the dress so we're not all guessing.

That's what I do, I wear a simple quality black dress with a nice colorful silk scarf for day or early evening. It's actually the only time I ever do scarves. Too hot in Florida. Scarves are so pretty though and change the look quite drastically. Or, something like this.

Or, a fancier scarf than this and with a nice belt.

Thank you all so very, very much for your suggestions, advise and pics! I think the combo of church wedding, ND and the words "formal" (which strike fear in my heart) just put me over the edge, and you have calmed me down. I will post a pic of the dress and the vintage skirt/shirt combo to see what you think about the skirt/shirt, which I am really leaning towards, TBH. I tried the dress on and although it still fits, it's a little tighter than I'd like, but then again, caftan is pretty much my comfort level. Since my husband and will tear up the dance floor, I don't want to feel trussed up like a christmas turkey. Pics soon, and thank you all again, someone wrote a couple of weeks ago about the incredible collective wisdom and variety of thought on this board and they are 100% correct, truly, you are all amazing.

This has been a really interesting thread! I agree that the most practical solution for your husband would be to just buy him a nice pair of medium gray dress slacks to wear with his navy blazer. Those, worn with a dress shirt and conservative tie would be great, IMO. As a matter of fact , we're heading to a "formal dress" (church ) wedding and then outdoor reception in Austin, TX, in mid-June. DD is a bridesmaid. I will most likely wear a LBD with some statement jewelry of some sort. DH, who always dresses appropriately and elegantly, will wear one of his nicer sports coats and a pair of dress slacks. Probably light or medium gray (lol). I've been told a thousand times over the years that DH looks just like one of those "Marlboro Men" (minus the cigarette). He does, but he also knows how to dress gorgeously for any occasion.