Based on your photo on my monitor I would say Lido Blanco. Photos can be iffy and there's a bit of shadow on your cabinet. To me, the Calcutta Verona looks a tinge more yellow than your cabinet. Again, on my monitor.

either works, but please, no 3x6 subway tile!

If you're going with either of those counter top choices, change the backsplash tile to a soft, pale gray. It will avoid the dreaded match up that turn your cabinets even more "yellow" because while each item on it's own is "white", when they're next to each other all the undertones show up.

The problem I have it when I put grey next to the cabs they turn dingy

then don't pick something with a gray base. why don't you pick something very white? what about the quartz w/the sparkles

more of a whiter quartz w/a pronounced veining

calacatta white quartz

or, White Ice or River White granite

My cabinets are an off white, and I chose Vicostone in Bianco Romano. There are both gray and taupe flecks in the quartz

What did you end up with? I'm looking at Lido Blanco as well...