HELP! My Meyer Lemon is suddenly all droopy!

last month

Hi all, I'm new to this forum (and to indoor citrus growing)

I've had this dwarf meyer lemon for about a year. It was doing just fine, except for the occasional spider mites infestation, which I treated by washing the tree with a mix of warm water, mild soap, and isopropyl rubbing alcohol and then applying neem oil (on advice of the guy who sold me the tree). Over the past two weeks, I noticed that the lower leaves and the ones along the trunk started getting yellow and droopy. Many of them fell already. I also noticed spider mites and a few webs on the top branches. So I washed the tree again and applied neem oil. Typically the tree bounces back in a few days after this treatment, but this time it seems like it's getting worse. It's been three days and the whole tree seems droopy now!

I also noticed that a few leaves have brown, dry tips.

I am worried this might be a combination of problems, like spider mites damage + overwatering. Any advice?

A few more info for context:

Environment: I keep the tree in a south facing window, but I'm in Midtown NYC, so it doesn't get more than 4 hours of direct sunlight per day (I know it needs more than that, I'm getting grow lights). I typically get sunshine between 11pm and 3pm.

Our radiators are always turned off -- the apartment is warm enough and gets quite warm when the sun is out. I have a small humidifier running close to the tree. I occasionally open the window in front of the tree for a few minutes, and it's cold out at the moment. But I never leave the window open for long.

Dimensions: The tree is about 3.5tf tall and it sits in a 14in pot.

Watering: I've been watering once a week until now. I use both a meter and my own fingers to make sure that the soil is almost dry before I water again. The pot has one drainage hole in the center, but I'm worried it's too small to provide good drainage, because water never runs out of the pot. (Should I repot and drill more holes in the pot? Am I overwatering? Underwatering?)

At the moment, the pot does not feel humid. About 3'' below the surface, the soil feels a little moist, but if the I touch the soil at the bottom of the pot, through the drainage hole, it seems dry.

Soil: When I last repotted the tree, I used a mix of Miracle-Gro Palm, Cactus, Citrus soil + perlite + some bonemeal. In the summer, I fertilized every other week with Miracle-Gro Water Soluble Miracid (for acid loving plants).

I appreciate any help you can provide! I don't want my tree to die and I don't know what to do!

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