I would NOT go with her; however, I would attend the open house on my own, preferably BEFORE she goes.

Are you in a buyer or a seller'smarket?

Her agent seemed to think it was better to get an offer in quickly, and local media and online sources call it a seller's market. I am far from an experienced house buyer, but would be more familiar with problem signs than she is, so she wants my input. Unfortunately, her agent is meeting her right at the start of the open house. I am concerned that she is going to come across as an easy mark (for example, when she first spoke to her rather incredulous agent, she explained she couldn't possibly meet her earlier on a Sunday because she would be at church and it would depend on how long the message lasted). She looks younger than her already young age, and I think having me along would add to that "too young to buy" appearance even after all her work to build strong finances!

Does she want you to go with? I was over 30 and wish I brought someone with me.

She does, but she will have her potential roommate (best friend) with her. I'm torn because I am not the helicopter parent style but it is a big decision especially if her own realtor pressures her to make a quick offer. The realtor seemed quite concerned that the property would get away from her.

I would go with her if she wants you there. The seller is going to sell to the best offer with secure financing. It doesn't matter to them the age of the buyer as long as they get their money. Both our children wanted us to view their prospective homes before putting in an offer. They knew we had more experience on what could cause potential problems in the house. Two heads are better than one.

The only reason I can think of as why her agent wouldn't want you there is because you could spot those problems.

I agree with Function.

The seller most likely won’t be at the open house, the agent already met your daughter. The listing agent has seen all the scenarios.

So who are we worried about?

I would go with her or stop in later.

I don’t think it would look horrible at all! An extra set of eyes is a good thing, and if your daughter wants you to go, I would happily go.

40-somethings take their parents with them. Buyers don’t care. Hang back and watch/listen to what the real estate agent says/does too and make sure they are looking for your daughter’s best interests.

The seller is NEVER at the open house--unless it is a for sale by owner. It is no one's business who all trapes through AN OPEN HOUSE and lets be honest more lookey loo neighbors go to open houses than prospective buyers. It is a HUGE RED FLAG that the buyer has a home on the market but a realtor can't get an appointment??? Sounds like they are itching for a bidding war. NEVER heard of that. Gosh are there regional differences. The two times we sold homes we were told "open houses" do not sell homes--the most they do is help realtors collect future customers. Before people have realtors they often EDUCATE themselves by going to as many open houses as they can find. My daughter is also 23 and also in the market for a home. If I could her father and I would be with her looking, but she is in another State. For sure she would not put in an offer until we saw it too. As it is we will be doing this remotely via skipe. The money--finances on paper--is the only interest a seller should have. She is pre-approved. She isn't going to solidify a buy until an inspector checks out the house, why wouldn't her friends/parents WHO EVER advise her?!!

Jenn-

She's looking at a house, not applying to be CEO of Microsoft. Please feel free to go with her and provide whatever support and input she would like. You don't have to discuss anything in front of the people involved in the sale. It's a perfectly normal thing. I see no downside to you going with her.

The bank is handing over the check, not your daughter. As pointed out above, the seller won’t be there and will probably accept the best offer with the most secure financing. Since your daughter is young, she will want to get a thorough inspection to hopefully prevent her from buying a money pit. Hope it works out for the best for her!

Ok, thanks all. I guess it just felt like a step backwards after five years of "you're on your own, we support you, but go be an adult!" She is relieved to have an extra set of eyes, and really it's just another mother daughter shopping day!

LOL !! Isn't it a dance giving them the freedom/PUSH to succeed at adulting and keeping the balance of in the end it is HER decision i.e. responsibility to make the choice. I rejoice at any and all "advise" requests!! We all get input from all our sources when making decisions. I am soo pleased she considers us worth asking!! As long as it continues to be just another day of Mother/daughter shopping you are good!!!

Congratulations on both accounts -- kid being ready to buy a house, and kid having enough confidence in you to want your advice!

It's certainly possible to 'be there' without helicoptering. Make sure she initiates the talking; that any agent speaks primarily to her, not to you; and that any decisions are hers, not yours.

Enjoy your day and good luck to your daughter!

From an agent's POV, I welcome the parent(s) of the buyers especially when it is the buyer's first home. Go with your daughter or meet her there. It won't look funny at all. It is normal and natural to bring in someone, especially parents, to help make this very large decision.

Glad to read you are going. No reason not to if that is what your daughter wanted. You can point out both good and bad things about the house. Things your daughter would not have noticed or thought of. Hope it works out for her and this is the house she truly will be happy in!

When we sold 4 years ago, the market was hot. We didn't show it until a twilight 4-6 open house on a Thursday, and another on 2-4 on Sunday. Our agent said we would be looking at offers on Wednesday. There were thirty separate groups (buyers and agents) on Thursday. We got 5 offers.

It's a good practice, not trying to encourage a bidding war, but insuring that we got the best offers for the least amount of trouble on our part. Having that many people trot thru the house at all hours would have been a real pain.

Ask the agent, but all offers should be contingent on inspections. So don't stress about catching everything.

I say go with her! I will always want my parents to see any house I buy before I put an offer in no matter how old I am. One parent has construction experience and the other one saved us from almost making a mistake with a floorplan that just wasn't right for my husband and me.

Just go with her. It's not a big deal.

My Mom and Dad came and toured a house I was interested in when I was a fully formed, 34- year old grown up with 2 kids! Mom is very practical, looking for a good floorplan, flow, space. Dad pokes around the plumbing, looks at the roof and gutters, and points out if there are any maintenance issues to think about. It was awesome! If she wants you there, go. Look around on your own part of the time, walk around with her part of the time. Take a few notes to discuss later. I'm sure she will appreciate your input. You don't have to have specific home buying experience to be helpful. You have living experience. That will be helpful.

As homechef59 said, keep it all business, don’t say anything within earshot of anyone. Don’t act super interested even with your own agent. It’s totally normal and expected for a young person to have someone with them with more knowledge. Some take more time to buy a new article of clothing than we do for the most expensive purchase of a lifetime, sad but true.

Most people have Ring cameras, or other security systems, these days, indoor and outdoor, so keep commentary to a minimum till you are back out in your car.

Thanks again for the advice. In the end, the house was right next to a condemned house, and the ceilings in the attic were sagging. The realtor took us to a second house which was recently flipped and we discovered massive foundation issues, which were causing an entire corner of the house to sink. This looks like a long process.

...and I bet your daughter was glad you came along with her :-)

...Heh, no wonder the agent was trying to make it seem like this was a property that could 'get away from them and sold to another buyer'...let that other buyer put their money into the residential property world equivalent of a bbq and some gasoline with a match tossed onto it... ;)

The second house only reminds me of why you have to be super suspicious and get a really good inspector out there when the property is a flip (especially if you have little else to go on other than that it's had the typical superficial updates common to most flipped property...darn those HGTV shows!)

Tell her to take her time and find the right house for her. We took 9 months to find our present house.

Congratulations to your daughter (and the parents who raised her) for being fiscally solvent enough to buy a home at such a young age. Wonderful to witness. Anyway, my husband and I were in our thirties when we bought our first house. We went with my SIL and BIL to look at houses since they were older and had bought and sold several houses by then. Never even thought it was strange to have experienced people with us.

Thanks again, all. We went to see a few more houses today and may have found the one! We shall see, as apparently there are multiple offers. It's smaller than she wanted, but in a dream location and very well kept. We are proud of her for building her
credit and banking her first year of salary religiously to get to this point!

Very nice! I hope she gets it. Sounds like a nice one :)