even in normal times, what you describe is a lot of frustrating and concerning issues to process. Stay strong. hugs.

I'm so sorry. Hope you get some updates soon.

Ugh. I feel for you.

I am so sorry and sending positive thoughts for good outcomes.

Oh my goodness, hope this great big hug helps while you await fo the results.

I'm so sorry! That is alot for any one person to handle.

Bless your heart. As if there isn't enough to be worried about. Sending calming and healing thoughts your way.

Oh wow. So much for one person to handle. Sending healing thoughts to you.

That is so much to cope with. I am terribly sorry you have all this at this time no less. I hope all this resolves soon and well.

I am so sorry that you're struggling. Sounds like you have really been dealing with several very stressful events all at once. Please take good care of yourself and know that we are wishing you all the best and hoping you'll soon get exactly the help needed.

So sorry about it all. Check with your dentist - my friend is one and they are doing emergencies only which must include a broken tooth,

Thank you all. I truly appreciate each and every reply. I felt like I need to unload and thank you all for allowing me to do just that. After writing that post I went outside and weeded. It helped me stop spinning and just think calmly. The act of writing all my current angst was overwhelming, but it also put it all into perspective. I can handle each issue on its own, just not altogether.

Covid19 is very sad and unrelenting. What I can do is turn off the news, breath slowly, exercise and stay home.

I can't make a grown a$$ man do what I want. Between his severe ADD and head in the sand on this issue, it is beyond my control. There is a reason we are separated. I can accept this or go all screaming nagging woman on him and take over. I will let him be.

As for me, I certainly can't control the diagnosis, but I can take control of how and where I receive care. I already reached out to my Union's medical care specialist and I have been in email contact with a health advocate from Memorial Slone Kettering Hospital. The number one cancer hospital in NYC and maybe the U.S. I wish I had contacted them before I had contacted the breast surgeon. He is a wonderful doctor, but if I need surgery or any other procedures, I need someone who takes insurance. He only takes Medicare. The advocate said as soon as I get the results from the surgeon to send them to her and she will have them looked at and if needed I will be assigned to a care team. There is nothing else I can do.

My tooth is the thing that seems so overwhelming now. Silly I know. All dentists are only taking emergencies. Is this an emergency? Do I risk exposing myself to Covid19. My tooth doesn't really hurt, it is only lost a bit on the side and I think it is part of the white filling she only did about 6 weeks ago. However, what if it continues to crumble. My biggest fear is she couldn't get the tooth numb when she drilled last time, and her work is crumbling. What if she can't do it correctly or pain free a second time? I have a condition unscientifically called "The redhead gene" which is more commonly found in redheads. It means that I don't easily get numb and anesthetic doesn't always work well. Maybe I should go to different dentist or maybe I should wait to see what happens.

Don't feel like you have a target on your back, it's happening to a lot of people with possible life or death illnesses. I can't grasp why those people aren't just as important as the Covid patients. I'm only talking about possibly deadly illnesses.

My advice is to get the tooth fixed first because when the pain hits, girl, you're in trouble. lol Then stay on top of the tests. The squeaky wheel and all.

Good luck to you. Take a deep breath and realize you're not alone.

I'm so sorry about all the stressful things happening at once. Try to breathe and relax and hope it all will work out and fall in place soon for the best. Hugs to you!

Im sorry all this is piling up on you. I would get your tooth fixed I bet it’s considered an emergency. At least you would know you’d have one thing completed.

I am so sorry for your situations! Agree that you should call the dentist and ask whether he thinks this is something that will worsen and needs to be fixed asap.

Frankly, so far 2020 is a year that I never want to repeat. Just dreadful all around.

My next door neighbor is a dentist. His attitude during all of this is if your mouth is hurting, it is an emergency. YMMV

So sorry you are going through all of this!

I don't blame you for letting him be but I would give him an earful before I did personally. It would start with this is the last time I'm going to show this kind of concern for you. Somewhere in there I would say and if you don't take care of yourself and might be the last time anybody has a chance to express their care for you. But that's just me and I had to do that with somebody with ADHD.

If you are in pain talk to a dentist or 3.

All together very frustrating but just take one problem at a time and deal with it. At least that works for me a little over half the time when I consciously do that.

I am so sorry that everything is going wrong at once and that you have to be the grownup. I know the feeling. All you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. I hope you get a break soon.

No wonder you're venting, and rightly and justly so. We're all coping with Covid19 and probably some sort of financial or employment change BUT throw something else on top such as in your situation, and it is screaming hysteria time.

I'm glad you were able to break down the situation into it's parts and feel not quite so overwhelmed.

I hope things smooth out for you.

‘I can handle each issue on its own, just not altogether.’

Boy I sure can relate to that!! And I wish I had your wisdom when it comes to your husband’s care. As an advocate the hardest lesson for me to learn is that you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It took me years to learn that one.

I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. It's awful to have one's resilience tested so. Just take it one thing at a time, one step at a time, as that's all you can do. Try not to let your worries bring it all to this moment. And remember fear is not fact.

I wouldn't worry so much about getting covid from the dentist...it's more his/her worry of getting it from you. So get the tooth fixed if you can as it will be one thing off your plate. Then you can concentrate on your major issue which is follow up on your mamo results.

I'm another one here who is so sorry that you have so many issues to deal with. Yes, deep breaths, one step at a time, go out and weed some more. That was very centering and relaxing for me yesterday.

I am a dentist, and like many others, our office is closed, except for emergencies. If a patient is in pain, we may need to see them, or initially treat them with antibiotics. In your case, you should definitely call to discuss this with your dentist or a staff member, to find out your options.

A small update. I got a second radiology opinion that I definitely need a biopsy. I scheduled one for my 2nd choice hospital, but then heard back from MSKCC and they want my films and report. I think if they can do the biopsy in a timely manner I will wait an extra day or two and have them do the biopsy. I would go to them for care regardless who did the biopsy.

My fear about the tooth is the dentist who did the original filling could not get the tooth numb. It was one of the most painful experiences I have had. How do I let her work on the same tooth if she couldn't get it numb in the first place. I have had issues before, but most medical personal know how to do something to block the pain. Does she not know or was it a my bad luck? She was replacing an old silver filing. The tooth is annoying, but not really painful. I think I am just fearful and have to do something.

Please take care of yourself first. Sending hugs your way.

Thinking about you. Hoping you get some good news!

Thank you all. Well, unfortunately MSKCC can't do a biopsy for weeks, so Friday I'll have the biopsy at my second choice hospital which is a top rated hospital. The NP at MSKCC told me I was extremely lucky that I could even get a biopsy right now so go to the other hospital and if I actually need treatment I should contact MSKCC again and hopefully a specialist will be available. At the moment I have decided that I am fine and in reality the statistics of this being in cancer is in my favor.

Tomorrow I will call a dentist and see if they can see me.

As for the frustrating spouse. He promised to call the doctor tomorrow and find out what the report says.

For my sanity and his I have been Zooming with a 6 year old boy who lives in my building who has been having nightmares. We are sharing drawings, doing social stories and talking. Tomorrow I am going to make a Lego construction and send him a picture and challenge him to make something and send me a picture.

hbcm, that is the sweetest about zooming with your little 6 year old friend! I cannot imagine being a 6 year old boy and being cooped up! I feel so bad he is having nightmares.

Hbcm, I am glad things are looking better. Lucky boy to have such a good friend.

So very glad to hear this! I have been thinking of you!

Some good news! I know you are relieved.

So glad to hear such good news!

I too am so glad that you received good news. I hope you can rest easier.

Such good news. Don't need any more problems on top of everything else! Best of luck with the tooth.

Glad for the good news.

Can you use gas for the dental work?

I don't know of such things, but I'd think it might be helpful for you.

I'm one of those who had a tooth prepped for a crown with no novocaine, so tooth pain doesn't bother me that much.

That is wonderful news! For both you and your DH.

I had some bad experiences with dental care as well. For years when I was getting my teeth cleaned they would have to give me numbing stuff every time.

One day I simply got tired of the needles so I asked them to give me less each time. Over time I got used to the cleanings numbing agent free. It's much easier now to live with the bits of pain that happen. Plus it's nice to not be ruled by the fear.

I'm glad to see the test outcomes are looking much better than you anticipated.

My sister had to have emergency dental work last week, and it was super hard to get it scheduled.

So glad you received good news. It must have been very stressful, especially during these times, to await the outcomes. As for the dentist, be sure to tell her of your history of difficulty with numbing, and ask for relief.

I am so happy to read this latest news! What sweet relief for you. As for dental pain, there is no reason you should ever have any during a procedure, at least that is what my grandfather who was a dentist told me.

You must be breathing a sigh of relief. Good to hear the good news.

HCBM, like you I know many/most of us worry greatly about how we would deal with health related problems during this current situation. And you had to deal with several at one time.

Although obviously bad health news leads to much emotional stress....WAITING for health news is definitely its own form of hell! I'm very glad your news was not as bad as you feared and I hope you are able to get things taken care of with the dentist as well.

I'm still working on getting the tooth fixed. I'm trying to use a different dentist. That may be impossible. However, I truly believe there is a way to numb that tooth. I had a very old filling in it and that filling didn't hurt, so why couldn't this dentist numb it. I think she didn't want to try what others have done to me. They inject right into the gum next to the tooth instead of only in the back where both the top and bottom of the mouth meet. I am not an expert by any means but I know it can be done. Most dentist don't give gas, but if I find one I'll try it.

Thank you all again for all your support and well wishes, you all really helped me.

I thought I would update on the various medical issues. I finally had a tele-med visit with the breast surgeon today. She is still waiting for one more mammo film from 2018. If that one looks fine she would prefer to watch the growth than do surgery. I will get to have an in person visit in August. She prefers I have my mammograms as MSKCC from now on. Which is fine with me.

I am still trying to see a dentist and it will not be the one who did the last filing. The office has added a $15 additional fee for "extra" precautions they need to take in the age of Corona. I asked what those precautions were and the answer was masks, gowns, gloves and cleaning of the chair after each patient. I am sorry that is ridiculous, they should and as far as I sawdust time doing all those things before Corona. I would be willing to pay for something extra, but not for what they should and were doing before. On top of that they are billing me $60 on top of what my insurance paid even though they are an in network practice which means I don't have a copay. I was unhappy from the beginning so I am moving on to a top of the line dentist and pay out of pocket. I should have done that from the beginning.

My spouse has still not received his new statin medication in spite of calls to both the doctor and the pharmacy. Follow up is not his strong point and with the doctors and pharmacies overwhelmed I am sure his prescription was lost in the shuffle. Hopefully, he will call again soon.

Thank you all for the hand holding through my anxiety. In the scheme of things and looking back my concern seems sooner-blown. Wow, what a difference a few weeks can do for perspective.

I just wanted to respond to the additional fee that your previous dentist is charging for personal protective equipment. As I may have written previously, my husband and I are dentists in practice together. While our office hasn't yet decided if we are instituting an additional fee, I can tell you that the cost of all of the protective measures that we have undertaken to keep our staff and patients healthy and safe, has been overwhelming. We have not yet been allowed to return to work in our state, on a regular schedule, and can only see emergencies. We have unfortunately, had to cancel months of patients. No income has been generated, yet we had made the decision to continue to pay our employees rather than have them go on unemployment, and purchase all of the necessary gear for compliance and safety, in large quantities. Many of our colleagues are instituting a separate PPE fee, or raising their fees in general. While we may do neither of those, we definitely understand the need for a reasonable fee. We also understand that our patients may not appreciate this, as everybody is suffering now. It's a hard choice.

Thinking of you, hcbm. That is interesting about PPE in dentist's offices. My dentist and hygienist already take all of the above precautions, and have for years.

Texanjana, we too, have always been careful and safe. There are numerous new PPEs that are needed now, such as N95 masks rather than regular masks, face shields, gowns, shoe covers and hair covers, air purifiers, extraoral suctions, etc., that were not needed in the pre-COVID era.

Oh goodness! I went to the dentist last week (rescheduled twice). I go to a husband/wife team and they have always been an extremely sanitary office. I had no qualms about going. They are taking a few more precautions. Doors (other than front door and bathrooms) are open with door stops so you don't touch doorknobs. No magazines in waiting room and furniture removed/reconfigured for spacing between each seat. They are trying to have no more than 2 at a time in the waiting room. The gal who cleaned my teeth wore a mask and a face shield. She cleans her area after each patient, as they always did, but she told me they go a bit further, cleaning outside the exam area, etc. She did tell me our dentists paid their staff (reduced) during the time they were closed (other than emergencies). However, there was no fee passed on to the patients, at least at this time.

ETA: I meant to say that several years ago, I had a problem with numbing not working on me. My dentist changed the numbing agent they were using and, BINGO! I was numb. You might ask your dentist to try something different on you and see if it works better. I can certainly understand you being nervous after the previous experience.

Also, so happy to hear your test results!! Yay! Some good news!

Thanks for that feedback, jb1586, and also Tina Marie. My appointment is in a few weeks and I've been a little nervous. Though I realize the risk is likely way more to them vs. me.