Also- the kitchen flows right into the living area- which we have no idea what to paint.

If you can have the floor grout re-coloured, everything else will instantly look more neutral and less 80s. But that's a big job. Perhaps a floor pro may chime in to comment on how feasible it is to do.

For the kitchen, replace the box fluorescent. The quality of lighting is hateful and the fixture is really dated.

And then I'd live in the house for a while. You won't know what you can live with and what really bothers you until you do live with it. Your reno money will be spent most wisely once you have experienced the house over time.

Agreed. That light box would be gone today if I could do it completely on my own. I keep going back and forth on doing a lighter color grout to just soften it up a bit too. It seems doable but I also want to make sure it’ll last and not turn blotchy.

Now that we’ve been here several months, we know we like the layout of the kitchen, and we know we can get rid of five cabinets if we wanted to (soo many cabinets!). We’re just more modern In our preferences so the style is not us.

IMO deal with the lighting first. If you can afford it do pot lights 4” all LEDs 4000K then see how you like the space. If that is not in the budget then an LED track light with at least 5 heads same bulbs . I think other than that I would wait to see how the space functions for you. I suggest waiting at least 3 months and better 6 then you will know what you hate and what you love about the space . In the meantime get all appliances to match since those will stay even if you do a new kitchen

My suggestion would be new lighting, different colored grout on the floor tiles and maybe painting the island. I think the kitchen just needs to be brightened up a little.

• If by re-do the backsplash tile you mean remove the tile, I’m with you. You have the belt and suspenders look of 1. a 4” counter material backsplash topped with 2. tile that serves no purpose. Just pull the tile out. When you re-paint the walls you will bring whatever color you choose into the space. It will be much nicer looking.
• I would leave the floor alone until you can replace it throughout the house.
• That light box has to go. If that means hiring a handyman to do it, do it.
• Use the search box above to look for the squillions of other kitchens on Houzz that have honey maple or honey oak. If nothing else a little commiseration can be good for the soul.
• Paint can be your friend. There are lots of great ideas for changing your color scheme a bit. Get some inspiration images of honey oak kitchens you love and see which ideas work for you.

Grout paint. Get all your family members to help out. Maybe just do the kitchen for now, to keep it manageable.

As for cabinet advice, would help to have a floorplan. What jumps out to me is the desk -- do you use that? You could remove it in favor of, say, a coffee center (beverage fridge, coffee maker on top, mugs above. Maybe you could put a microwave into a cabinet there or elsewhere in the kitchen, allowing you to get a properly ventilated hood for the range. Then I'd replace your backsplash with white or pale gray subway tile.

That's where I'd start. You might be amazed what a difference those things make. Painting is a pretty big project, as is starting to take down individual cabinets, so see how much you can do with cosmetics before you commit to Big Undertakings.

We were gonna rip out the desk for sure when we first moved, but now I surprisingly use it all the time! (and we dont drink coffee). So we are good with the floor plan. We also paint all the time, so except for the ceiling, the paint and fixing the wall after the tile isn't too daunting to us. Starting to get sold on the grout paint tho....

1) Grout paint.

I love the kitchen layout and the cabinets look nice. I’ve seen much worse oak cabs, and I would keep all those. But I would (1) replace awful light with LED retrofit pots, (2) replace range with a slide-in stainless — induction if you can budget for it, (3) paint grout, (4) replace backsplash, (5) put some very wide, colorful runners down either side of island, and maybe (6) replace island top with something more interesting. Cannot quite see countertops. All in all, it is a lovely and wonderfully functional kitchen. Congrats on your new home.