You are in my prayers.

And mine....we have been dealing with serious family medical issues across 3 continents for the past year...Keep on trucking, keep planning for the future.

You are in my prayers. Stay strong

You are in my thoughts.

I will say prayers. Take care.

Praying for you and your family.

I am so sad to hear your news. You have so much on your plate already, and to have to swerve with this can take the wind out of your saile. (Yes, I love to mix my metaphors!) But the dream goes on. Your have a lovely plan, even though it might look a little different than you started out with.

Sending you and yours a warm hug.

Sending prayers,🙏

Praying for you, keep planning for your future, take one day at a time.

I don't know how to describe it, it almost feels like I'm simply pretending everything is normal, when planning for the future. But then I tell myself that I'm just being optimistic, not pretending. Then reality hits, and I cry myself to sleep. I have unrelated nightmares, then wake up only to cry again.

It's only been a few days since the diagnosis, and we have at least 2 surgeries next week -- in Polar Vortex weather in central Texas, no less -- so maybe my problem is that despair has gripped me, and I need to just focus on the current day.

It's so, so hard, though. Thinking about all the things we'll miss, how my 3 youngest kids (and a nephew) won't even remember the grandparent who rocked them to sleep, the times when I was utterly exhausted and just needed 5 minutes. Worried about my own health, and the health of my kids, now that this is part of my family medical history. Dang, how do you deal...?

I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 4 years ago. I'm in my 30s, mom in her 60s, and my kids were 1 and 3 at the time...so similar to you. It's indescribable how difficult and painful it is to have someone you love with that diagnosis andy heart goes out to you and your family.

In our situation, my mom wanted to continue to live life as fully as possible and made it clear that she didn't want to take away from us living our lives. Definitely easier said than done, but we tried our best. Some things that have helped me along the way...accepting help with my mom's care and chemo appointments, compartmentalizing, crying or talking toy support system when I needed to.

Also, there's definitely a before and after, but I had that "pretending" feeling you describe. I think it's shocking that something is so devastating yet life continues all around you normally. It's a lot to process. and there's a lot of times you may feel like you can't take anymore...but you can and you do because there is no other choice. I wish the best for you and your family.

I am so sorry for this ODD - you are an amazing person and I hate it when bad things happen to good people.

It's totally okay to hit pause. You can stop, focus on your parent(s) and shift your goals to nearer term. Or - if you need and want the distraction - keep going.

I don't think people realize the toll the pandemic has taken on our collective psyche - the level of anxiety about any number of things has been too high for too long, and it leaves us vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed at SMALL things - let alone this.

I don't have any huge words of wisdom - but only to cut yourself some slack. Everything you are experiencing is real, and you are not faking it - you are doing the best you can, trying to help your family and making decisions out of love. Take care of yourself - you need to be your best you to help others - and that means finding something that brings you joy and peace and DOING it as a priority.

We're here for you. Prayers for your loved one.

I'm so sorry ODD. You are one of my favorite posters and I'm so sorry you find yourself in this spot. I have no doubt you will handle this with the same amount of class and good humor you've displayed here for a long time now.

Gentle hugs to you my dear.

Praying for you during this difficult time.

I am of the age of your parents, and the sad reality is many of us are ill. The strength of the Holy Spirit helps many of us get through these trying times.

But you can take action to safe guard your family, and to feel you are channeling the negative energy/ thoughts into a positive action. This involves changing your family’s health and environment. Disregard all the Media info and “ news”, as it is pretty much just pr stories planted by their advertisers (which includes the political parties).

Look back to how your ancestors ate and lived for a guide. There was no cancer or heart disease before the late 19th, early 20th centuries. There was also no Vegetable Oils, no Glysophate, very little EMF, much less toxins. Do what you can to secure your home environment from these life altering scourges.

It may be too late for your loved one, but cancer feeds on sugar, so a radical diet change may offer some hope. There is plenty of info (backed by suppressed science) to be found in the alternative medical literature. Just remember: don’t believe anything in The Big Media, they are proven liars who do the work of their masters.

May God bless and keep you and yours.

T - I'm so sorry to hear this news. I think we all react differently to news like this and also what we feel we need to do. Don't feel bad either way in how you go about things. If you continue to plan it may be something to keep your mind off of what is going on and if you don't that is fine too. Your loved one may enjoy the planning too as something good to look forward to in what they are facing. Sending you and your family lots of hugs.

This is the ME calendar page I slipped into my phone case. Pretty much sums things up. The pretending.

ODD, so very sorry to hear your news. Sending prayers your way.

praying for you and family, dear ODD. How one deals..day by day

You're not pretending anything, and even if you were-cut yourself some slack. You've just got the news. There are surgeries scheduled. It's all scary. And who knows what is pretending and what is not. I know that weird feeling..or so I think..

We here love you. I hug you and wish you lots of strength, and I'll continue to pray

I’m so sorry for this news and thinking of you. An idea would be to put plans on hold until your family has a chance to see what this new reality will look like. Many stage four cancer patients live for many many years. Building the dream could still be in your future once you is understand what treatment and timing will look like with health issues. I’m so sorry.

I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

So sorry to hear this ODD. Wishing the best outcome for your parent.

I think you should continue with your plans, putting as much into is as you want or have time for. The reality is that if the worst were to happen, you will still have one parent that will probably be with you for 20 to 30+ years, so the family compound is still a wonderful goal, even though it might be different than the original vision.

I am so very sorry, ODD. Know that we are all thinking of you and I wish I had something profound to say to help or comfort. Whatever decision(s) about your plan that you end up making are the right ones for you and your family. Making no decisions is also okay too. Don't let anyone tell you different.

ODD I'm so sorry to read this news. We never know what's ahead and most of us plan as if there is always time. There is no right way to approach this, and only you know day to day if it feels intrusive to continue with the land hunt or if it feels hopeful. Probably both on some days. Give yourself permission to feel in the moment and act accordingly. My heart goes out to you.

ODD..I’m so sorry this is happening. I‘m in my 60s and my girls are both near your age with lots of babies and young children between the two of them. I don’t know if this is your mom but it’s hard to even consider the thought of losing your mom when you need her so badly. Plus I know you also have talked about your special needs kids..you may be doing some anticipatory grieving of a dream you had that included this parent. If it’s your dad, every girl still needs her dad..even and especially when you’re grown.

Praying for you that even though it’s stage 4, there is still hope.

Nothing has changed. The future is just more certain. You determine whether you are positive or negative about the future. Find joy in everything that you do. It's there. Remove anything that does not give you joy. Give comfort to everyone in your life. Ask for comfort when you think you can't go on. Ask for grace and give grace.

I'm so sorry. I sending virtual hugs.

ODD, I am glad you reached out, to give your virtual community the chance to send you their love and support, love and support built through so, so many little virtual messages and replies.

I read that a young woman described the pandemic as carefully looking both ways before crossing a street and then being hit by a submarine. In fact, she was describing life. I'm so sorry. I can feel your heartbreak and I am so sorry.

'cause on top of everything else you needed the storm of the century!

Hang in there, ODD - we love ya!

Life is a series of goodbyes. I lost my beloved ex last year; fil, last week. Live for the day. Nothing else is guaranteed. And try and stay warm and hopeful for your lucky brood!

I'm thinking of you. This is horrible and so much harder when the world feels...unsettled. We had a similar situation. I think we made the best decisions for us, but it was juggling chainsaws. And our youngest was 12, so no toddlers. People do care. I wish you strength and wisdom.

I'm so sorry ODD. You've always shown an incredible amount of class and good humor here and again, I'm hoping that sustains you through these rough patches. May warm weather return soon so that you can be down to "just" one traumatic issue at a time. Hang in there.

Be strong. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

sorry to hear about the family member/diagnosis. We started looking for retirement home in 2006/2007. Husband wasn't feeling 'well' be continued on looking on weekend. Wanted a place out of the 'big city' (Katy,
TX area). Country boy hubby. Just as he was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer (esophageal) we found a great place; made an offer, closed on it the Friday before he started radiation and chemo.

EC is a tough one to beat; he got to enjoy the 'retirement' place for 22 months. I retired the end of 2009 and moved out there regardless.

Sorry you are traveling this road with your loved one.