Do YOU still like it? Do you want to live with it for X years longer? Is it limiting your other choices in any way? Those are the questions you need to ask yourself.

It would help to see more of the kitchen including the floor. Budget details would help the community to weigh in, as well.

As @tartenmeup has pointed out above, do you like the backsplash well enough to work with it? I love it and would choose the lightest cream colour as a colour match for the cabinets as long as it works with the floor.

Your cabinets look good to me. I would only change the counter and the backsplash.

IMO it is dated. Most of what is trending right now is larger, rectangular or uniquely shaped tiles, not small squares. One way to decide if something is dated is to go to your favorite home-improvement stores, or floor and decor, or similar, and see how much of a certain style they carry. That will let you know whether it’s dated or not. National chains carry the most popular/best selling products. If you don’t see something like it in the store, it’s probably because it is not one of the more popular a.k.a. most current items. Most of what is trending right now is larger, rectangular or uniquely shaped tiles, not small squares. That said, I do agree with other posters, if you really like it, that’s all that matters.

I am changing the counters 2 quartz, The floors are a medium brown European oak and the cabinets will be a sort of creamy tan on top and the same value warm gray on the bottom. Color wise I can make it work. I would like to change it all together but my husband likes it. My main concern is that it looks really dated but maybe it doesn’t.

From an outside, resale point of view, yes, it’s really dated and will possibly look even more dated next to the quartz. BUT, if this is for you only, you are staying there for the foreseeable future, and you like it, keep it. I’d change it now if you don’t love it or are in the fence. I’m betting it’ll stick out like a sore thumb next to your new finishes and bother you more.

For me the issue isn't so much it being dated as it is being too busy, personally I couldn't work in front of that, it would make me anxious. But, if you guys like it, then keep it.

Personally I like it and I don't usually like small tiles on a backsplash.

Do you have a sample of the cabinet color?

You could always change it after the other work is done.

Not a pro, but with two cabinet colors it may be nice to have a plainer backsplash. On my monitor I'm not seeing how the backsplash will blend with gray cabinets.

You mentioned budget, so it sounds like you'll be replacing it soon anyway.

I personally think it's dated too and would change it if was in my kitchen. However, if your saving up and just need a quick fix for a year or so until you save up the money for what you really want I would recommend looking at vinyl tile stickers on etsy. They are literal stickers that go over the tiles. They aren't going to last forever, so this is definitely a very temporary fix until you save up. It can also be a good way to see if you actually like what you plan to put in.

Yes, it’s dated. Very definitely. And, way too busy

You say “nice, neutral tones” for your oak cabinets but you don’t say what those tones are. White? Bone? Cream? Gray? So it’s hard to say if the backsplash will blend or not.

Nonetheless, I don’t care for the mini-tiles. Looks dated to me.

And your cabinets are lovely as is. I hope you’re not considering jumping on the gray train. That train has left the station, IMO.

You mentioned that you are going with tan and medium/light gray 2 tone cabinets...I would have more contrast between them. 2 tone works well when the colors are not similar or like you said "same value". Yes, that backsplash has to go. Don't try to pick any cabinet colors around that tile, paint it (temporarily) with primer if you can't rip it out now, it will keep on messing with your color choices unless is covered or gone.

It’s busy, without a doubt. Dated? Not especially...and it works with your existing cabinets.

If you post more photos of your kitchen it would be very helpful.

I cannot picture light tan and light grey two tone cabinets together, usually white/off white uppers with color on the lower cabinets. Why not pick one or the other? The backsplash tile is outdated, not bad necessarily but very bossy indeed, lucky you have neutral floors so you can choose any new tile you would want.

Natural wood tones are back. By what little I can see, I think you’d do better to replace the backsplash, countertop and hardware over the expense of new cabinets.

To answer your question, yes it's dated. I can't see that working with gray cabinets either. Rip it out - there are tons of inexpensive backsplash tiles.

Wow, that's for the suggestions, some rather enthusiastic suggestions. I agree, I want to get rid of it.

I love it!

What do your kitchen floors look like? If you can’t do a complete kitchen renovation I think the best way to go would get rid of backsplash and countertop keep your cabinets. Just my opinion The backsplash and countertop would be the first thing replaced if I couldn’t replace everything at one time.

It’s very busy. If you can afford to replace it, I personally would.

The more I look at it the more I like it. A bit of jewel tones/ dull copper and some mother of pearl . It is artsy and it’s beautiful when you really take it in. I’d leave the cabs /counter and splash , and change your hardware and something else like great new floor runner or mats / pendant light .., pick up that beautiful teal shade. I don’t know why you’d do any of your proposed things.

It really is artsy, Herbflavor. And so refreshing to look at instead of the usual boring subway tile...