I'll get into what you should do next time after we talk about what you can do about this project. Without an unreasonable amount of work,you can't accomplish your goal on these. I reccomend going for old and worn look for the project or paint the legs and natural top for a farmhouse look.

To prevent uneven stain on same legs next time,sand with 180 then 220 grit before applying preconditioner. Never wait overnight between preconditioner and stain. If the time window closes before you get stain on,just apply another coat of conditioner then proceed as usual.

On the assumption you do alot of staining and want to strive for perfection,I'll explain the why so you recconize it in the future. End grain on ANY WOOD will ALWAYS absorb more stain than face grain. If you are staining oak,ash or other hardwood,conditioner isn't neccessar EXCEPT end grain.

I know what you are saying about end grain. i was nervous when i saw the legs, but other people had better luck. I think waiting longer for the conditioner and diluting the stain may have helped. i might whitewash with diluted paint over the legs or something, and hope for better next time. i did samples on pine 1x material, but it was soooo different on the legs. Thanks for your input. I'm learning :)

I overlooked suggesting to feel for whiskers and if present LIGHTLY sand with 220 to remove them before moving on.

I thought so myself Felicita,hence my suggestion to "make lemon-aid."

Directions for pre-stain conditioners are generally wrong, writes Bob Flexner. https://www.popularwoodworking.com/flexner-on-finishing-woodworking-blogs/how-wood-conditioners-are-giving-washcoats-a-bad-name/

I have had better luck with washcoats or really letting a pre-stain conditioner dry overnight, contrary to can directions.

Unfortunately blotching on wood is not something easily un-done. Either go really dark or strip and sand down to unstained wood.

In the future, if things start looking bad, stop then

http://www.refinishwizard.com/washcoatsolids.htm