Here are some inspiration pictures.

I really like the inspiration pictures, so I like where you're going. I am not a professional decorator but I have lived in (too) many different houses and have helped friends decorate. I can tell you that the problem a lot of us amateurs have is not adhering to a particular style or vision closely enough. If you go in too many different directions, the end result won't look coherent the way a professional design would. There are a lot of nice products out there, but you probably can't have everything you like in one room. If you ever move you can use some of the ideas you don't get to use this time around.

Your inspiration pictures are transitional/farmhouse. While the style mavens will tell you farmhouse is going out, if you really like it, don't worry about it. Just don't go over the top with the farmhouse elements. IMO, farmhouse is not a bad choice for a cape. White cabinets are always a good choice if you're not really set on a greige. I don't know how long you're planning on being in this house, but greige will probably date the kitchen to 2020. White has been popular for decades and will probably always be popular with a large number of people.

The good news about pulls is that they're easy to replace, although when you buy enough to outfit a whole kitchen, that can get expensive. If you don't do trendy lengths when drilling the holes you would be able to replace them later. If you look at pictures on Houzz, you will see mixed metals in kitchens and bathrooms. I think gold is trendy, so I think I would go with the black since you're planning on black counters. Your faucet definitely does not have to be the same colors as your pulls.

I agree with not doing a black and white checked floor. This is a pretty specific design choice that won't please very many buyers when you go to sell. Also, I agree that dark floors if you have a pet with light fur won't make you happy. I prefer a ceramic or porcelain tile floor, although it sounds like you're not as much of a fan. The good think about tile is that there are a million different options in tile, so you should be able to find something you like. I am only familiar with LVT in wood-looks. I don't think that would work next to the existing wood floors in adjacent rooms. If they don't match it will look bad. Is there LVT that imitates tile? If you haven't already looked at a hundred pictures on Houzz, keep looking as you may find more inspiration there.

I agree that pendants in a low-ceiling room might not be the best idea. I have nine foot ceilings in my current kitchen and I find the can lights to be sufficient. I am not missing having pendants. I have can lights right over the island and the table (two each). However, I do like a chandelier over the table and that is the only thing I would change if I remodel this kitchen. Also, don't forget to do under-cabinet lighting when you're running the electric in the space.

Don't worry about the paint color until the very end. Once everything else is in place you will be able to decide on that easier. If you stick to black and white in the overall design, almost any color will work, so just be cognizant of what is used in adjacent rooms so they flow or complement each other.

Good luck. Time spent planning is never wasted, so take your time, think everything through, but be open-minded and ready to make (hopefully small) adjustments if you find something isn't working once you start. Don't buy your pulls until the end so you can return them if you decide they're not right.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I can tell we are on the same wavelength. I’ve learned the lesson the hard way about buying things for a vision you like, not a bunch of different things you like but don’t necessarily go together. I’m just really struggling with a vision for this house. My prior houses have been a brownstone city apartment, a literal farmhouse, and a lake cottage. All very easy to settle on a style for.
The cape I feel belongs as a MCM, but it’s not really my style. All my neighbors have done their capes ultra-greyscale-farmhouse, which I feel is really overdone.
Which… is why I’m so afraid about the greige cabinets. But all the white cabinets in our price range look very cheap and plastic-y. I felt the greige looked far nicer, and it’s not really a dark grey like what is wildly popular now. So, I’m stuck with them now, we’ve ordered, but I am cognizant of the need to tone down grey in the rest of the kitchen, and run away from other trendy things to avoid piling on.
I’m kind of surprised you said black pulls are less trendy than gold, because I thought the opposite. But you’re right that I can wait until it’s all done to choose the pulls.