I was about to say the same as ein. Find an ACd hotel that will take the dogs and the three of you go. Or, you'll be ill. Your body is already stressed from the surgery, don't add heat stress to you or your dogs too. Then, have that talk with your husband.

ETA Oh dear. I hope not many read that typo, I really did mean add. It must be bedtime - we're not even in a hot zone where I can blame the heat.

"What would you do if you were in my position?"

You came to a forum? lol

"Divorce" comes to mind.

"Pros SHOULD know..."

Yes, pro's have to deal with competing interests between spouses, but pro's have to stay out of drama that doesn't pertain to them. This has nothing to do with the contractors and all to do with your relationship and your expectations for how work is performed.

But, if you just wanted to vent, sorry you are going through this process at an inopportune moment.

The word "abuse" comes to mind. Call the police.

the "professional painters" ignored the fact that people are living in the home by spraying paint on the entire interior trim, doors, and cabinets throughout our 3,000 sq ft home.

Not their problem. They were hired to do a job. You could have moved to a nice hotel.

The timing is unfortunate but, as busy as the trades have been, you take your slot when it comes up.

I will trade you husbands. Mine thinks that 'I' am the painter, the range hood installer, the cabinet builder, the gardener for everything that doesn't involve the lawnmower and the air conditioner mechanic. And, oh yeah, his cooking skills go so far as fetching take-out.

We had a new heating unit installed in March. Come June, we discovered that the installers broke the AC condensate pan, took one of the broken pieces with them & never said a word. So I am MacGuyvering a repair with JB weld & fiberglass. After the HVAC company quoted full MSRP for a new AC.

And when you check into that hotel, put it on your husband's credit card.

When using an airless or air assisted airless sprayer the central air should be turned off, typically for a few hours after spraying. If the painter is spraying around the return vent, the vent should be blocked. If you are painting one room at a time, you can just block the returns in a room for a bit.

If the space is not well ventilated and the central air is running, it can damage the AC unit in fairly quick. I doubt spraying just trim did that much damage, unless they are spraying the returns.

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As for relationship advice, my wife and I have been together since college and I am still amazed she hasn't yet come to her senses, so I dunno.

I appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions. 

I am well aware that my husband tries to gaslight me every chance he gets. I deal with him and he'll do and say all the typical things that abusers say to pacify and deflect his flaws on to me.

Why I posted this is because the subcontractor is telling me that I am not a professional painter and I don't know how to paint.

This has been ongoing for 3 years because of the builder and Oklahoma don't have any IRC code enforcement and contractors do not have to be licensed. A foundation company damaged the stemwall and the foundation of a slab on grade 7 year old home. Neither would take responsibility for it so I sued both and the case began in Feb 2019 and settled in Nov. 2021.

After replacing the A/C filters a 3rd time, and after telling the subcontractor, husband and contractor not to paint any interior of the house, I got pushed past the point of my displeasure, especially when I am paying for the repairs from the settlement money I worked very hard to get.

I fired the paint subcontractor. They were in rooms thar were off-limit and they were told to stay out of them. I now have overspray on electronic devices, windows, walls, floors, furniture and in the A/C ducts.

I am NOT one that gets mad easily but if I do, then it is best to keep away from me. I don't sugar coat words or put on kid gloves. I am respectful, but very direct. 

It is unacceptable to be displaced for 3 years and when the settlement money is paid, it's been almost a year and nothing has been done.  The week after I had surgery, the deplorable conditions were not going to be any worse than it is and has been for years. 

All I asked for is 6 weeks to recover and be able to do it in the A/C in my house. 

I enjoy painting and painted the entire interior of the house 2 years before all the damages occurred. 

I was an art major in college but changed my major to criminal justice and work as a Parole Officer. The subcontractor has no understanding of color theory, undertones, hues, proper prep or that I have a lot of experience with paints and other mediums. 

I was told that the latex paint on the uncleaned, or prepped aluminum doors would "cure" in 2 weeks.

Please. I'm not THAT ignorant about this. Paint on doors typically dries to the touch within a few hours, and then the 2nd coat can be applied. 

They applied 1 coat of a very dark latex paint, over aluminum doors, facing west, in full sun, and it's still tacky 3 weeks later! 

Assuming that I have no idea how to paint, and completely disregard the person who is paying for the work to be done, is unprofessional, disrespectful, and rude.

I'm not paying for anything else when I am asked to choose things at specific places and then get the information to the contractor. I  have yet to get the items I chose. Instead, I have to select something else because of the last minute change the contractor has made and talked to my husband about. Then I am never happy with anything, it's not to my standards, MY constant change of mind is a major problem and there's no reason to take out stress or even frustration on me by yelling at me over the phone or my husband makes condescending, belittling remarks in my presence in hopes of removing my input on the work.

Dear Susan - You are obviously at the end of your rope, with good reason. You're surrounded by a bunch of disrespectful, incompetent men who are trying to bulldoze you into believing you're crazy. You're not.

My friend, I fear you need more than a new contractor. You need an attorney who can help extricate you from this toxic house and toxic relationship. I understand you will probably lose a lot of money by walking away, but life is too short to live in a constant state of anger and frustration. You can always get more money but you'll never get your life back. Do what you have to do to find peace, Susan. Nothing else matters. Best wishes, my friend.

I'm going to skip over the part where this has been going on for years ... I'd have sold the house.

On to the painting, which seems to be the main item in this topic ...

"The subcontractor has no understanding of color theory, undertones, hues"

Not their job ... their job is to put whatever paint is selected onto whatever they're hired to paint. It's the home owner's job to select the colors (or the designer, if that task is hired out).

"latex paint on the uncleaned, or prepped aluminum"

That is a problem ... surfaces should be cleaned and prepped.

"I was told that the latex paint on ... aluminum doors would "cure" in 2 weeks ... 1 coat of a very dark latex paint, over aluminum doors, facing west, in full sun, and it's still tacky 3 weeks later!"

Curing takes time, and yes, that is measured in weeks. There are a number of factors that affect cure time, including type of paint, humidity, temperature, paint thickness, the surface being painted, the sheen of the paint, and, yes, the color. Latex paint takes weeks; in fact, 2 weeks was a relatively short estimate. Dark colors take longer than light colors (effect of the increased pigments), and, of course, humidity slows down curing. Metal has no porosity or anything to aid in drying and setting, so increase cure time there, too. I'm not surprised the paint isn't fully cured, yet. I had a piece of furniture that had wax paper between the plasticky body and wood frame for months while it cured.

"Paint on doors typically dries to the touch within a few hours, and then the 2nd coat can be applied.

Yes. Dry to the touch, ready for recoat, and cured are three separate things. Your paint was dry to the touch and could have been recoated in those time frames, and it is not fully hard (cured), as you've pointed out yourself.

"I am asked to choose things at specific places and then get the information to the contractor. I have yet to get the items I chose. Instead, I have to select something else because of the last minute change the contractor has made and talked to my husband about."

Did the contractor know that husband wasn't allowed to make decisions? If not, he's just doing what the home owner told him ... that would be a husband issue, not a contractor issue. They did ask for a selection, and they got an answer. You're upset because your husband answered and you didn't get to choose because he did it for the both of you. The contractor did ask. It is not their job to check with the wife to make sure that the husband is correct, unless they were specifically hired by you and only you and not your husband, which would have needed to have been made clear, which I'm not convinced it was even without knowing that they picked his answers. They were told conflicting things from the two of you, but they are not councilors, so they had to pick a voice to listen to, and they only need to be inside the house if they're painting the indoors, so when they were allowed and allowed to tape off the spaces, that would be the greenlight to choose the voice that said to paint those spaces. Husband hired them to paint the interior, so that's what they're doing.

It's like a child that has one parent say bedtime is 10pm and the other say it's midnight. When the family movie ends at 10pm, another movie starts, and no one says that it's time for bed, which parent's bedtime rules do you think the kid is following? I'm betting on the midnight (after the seemingly condoned second movie).

You're entitled to be upset about workmanship issues, but mismatches between your and your husband's desires and instructions are just confusing and were a recipe for someone being annoyed about what was or wasn't done. That complaint should go to the husband. From what I understand, the contractors followed a set of instructions that they were given ... just not the set you wanted them to; to me, that would make the real issue the fact that there was a second set of instructions that could be followed.

I don't know that Houzz is the best place for you to get help.

I left my husband after 30 years of marriage. I cannot tell you how many women have talked to me about this decision and asked for my council. It is an incredibly difficult and personal decision, and making the decision to leave or stay isn't something that anyone else can tell you is right or wrong, but you need to understand your options and you need a support system.

I found that the workshops given by Second Saturday empowered me to make the most difficult decision of my life. https://www.secondsaturday.com/

Feel free to send me a personal message with your phone number if you just need someone to listen and hear you.

As a husband of 32 years, I'm so sorry this is happening.