Yes, Jan, language is important. Without it there's no communication. Words and numbers. That's how you design a room.

As a non-designer I find that I need a new vocabulary when trying to describe a "look" or a specific item. I've made expensive mistakes because I didn't have the words to describe what I was after.

We could probably shorten it to this:

It is never first, about "stuff" ? : )

That is the quickest and most guaranteed route to I. HATE .MY. ROOM.

With many posts the idea books posted are so helpful to me to get some feel for likes .I used to give my new clients a stack of old design magazines and tell them to take out the pages of things they both liked it often helped me get a real feel for the style withiout trying to guess. I now do mostly kitchens so not so many whole house design s now. It is hard for people to express in words what they like .

And these days many people don't really know what they like .... only what they have been influenced to believe they like by sites like Pinterest and Instagram and "famous" influencers. The problem with this is that they will be unhappy with their choices the minute the influencers start to promote a different look.

You've really just articulated why people need to hire a designer. Clients don't often have the background or vocabulary for what they are after, which is why pulling photos of what they like is so important. Then a designer can get more specific: why does this speak to you? Do you like the colors? The shapes? The feeling? How does that relate to the way you and your family really live? More formally? More casually? Pet-friendly?

Before anyone buys anything, a vision is necessary.

And a vision is realized through a PLAN. So many dilemmas result from either no planning or poor planning. Which takes communication. And, yes, a talented designer.

I have come to the conclusion that problem solving is not most people's strong point.

They don't know what information is needed to solve the problem so they ask questions without any of the relevant information needed to make a good decision and they answer questions without knowing the relevant information needed to make a good decision and pat themselves on the back for knowing the right answer.

I just won $400.00! How should I spend it?

Buy a Webber Griddle, I love mine! Amazon link . . .

What color should I paint my bedroom?

I painted mine Harvest Gold and it is perfect. Goes with everything.

I want a dog, what breed should I get?

My neighbor just got a Siberian Husky puppy - he is adorable!

Which painting do you like better: Pictures of a fall landscape with greens and golds and oranges and a seascape with sand and blue seas. No pictures of the room where it will hang,.

What she said.....( Diana B)

Just because I am insane, and just because I have the "up well before dawn" issue. Because you can not show me a problem, (or a lost dog) that I will not attempt to fix, and because......well, we could call the shrink I do not have?!

Below is the w.h.y of designers and their cost. It's not real life except for the op. In real life? I might have killed her. I would have had to walk away, as no designer with a conscience lets a client spin in some sort of panty twist. Spin is m.o.n.e.y. It's not necessary.

Believe it- caps of SCREEECHES and scream included lol , of what not to do if you move, or are in any way, contemplating any space. The novel unfolds.

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/6452023/hearth-room-help#29173745

LMAO!!!!!!!

"I just won $400.00! How should I spend it?

Buy a Webber Griddle, I love mine! Amazon link" . . .

CONTEXT......please dear heaven above.......context!!

Back to the words.

Many years ago I had a client. She really didn't have any "words" other than she had fired the first designer who didn't "get her".

I went to the house and first visit? Not many clues to her style. She had recently moved, not a lot in the house other than potential, and " I just want a really pretty house"

I return a couple weeks later, loaded with two concepts, a couple of gigantic totes.............

Result? Spell Fail. "It's too pretty"

WHAT?! ( thinking grrrrrrrrrrr It's damn gorgeous are you insane!) I left, and thought.....well, do over, kiddo. Or you've lost her......a thing you feel in the bones when you back out of the driveway.

I write a thank you note, suggest one more get together for her " just so lovely new home"

BANG!! HIT the nail on the head second try and we were off and running. We became friends. She moved , built a huge home. We did that house. Moved yet again. Did that house top to bottom as well. I did her sister- a huge remodel....different town different state.

Point? It's always what is said, the words, and even those words left out.

Communicate. Fully.: )

I think we run into a lot of problems because people go and pick pictures of rooms they like. All too often they pick a photoshopped version of whatever is currently trending. We don't live in the pages of a magazine or a Houzz designer photo.

It is like picking an outfit from a fashion magazine and expecting to look like it did in the magazine on the toothpick model when you put it on your 5'2", 150 lb. body or picking a hairstyle from a magazine. Your hairstylist generally isn't provided a wand from Hogwarts that will change your baby fine, sun damaged, shoulder length hair into thick, wavy curls that hang in ringlets down to your waist.

Like your wardrobe and your hairstyle your furnishings and color selections have to fit together and need to fit your lifestyle. That pretty modern farmhouse kitchen may look really nice, but will it look that nice in your Victorian, MCM classic or ultra modern home?

Jan and Jen, you both are so very articulate, and amusing, BTW! Loved reading your posts!

@ Jennnifer Hogan

" Hogwarts!"...........thanks SO much for the morning laugh.!

I had the same thought. How do you teach someone to see? To understand what they are looking at? Your own home is no different than "You" in the style analogy. No darling , you can NOT wear those super wide leg pants of recent vogue. Worse yet when they are cropped.

That gorgeous gal in the Banana Republic pages? She is one inch shorter than Shaquille O'neal, her gleaming /well moisturized deep brown arm is tightly toned as it hangs from that white linen plunging tank top, and she weighs 120 lbs on a bad day!

You are not her. Put the pants back on the rack. Please do not attempt to turn your Nineties Mc Mansion, nor the charming Colonial, into a modern farm house. It's all square pegs jammed into a round hole:)

A picture's worth 1000 words they say. A picture can convey a desire more clearly in many cases. Not because anything said is not accurate it's because what I say and what you hear, what I mean and what you think I mean often do not match up. There in lies the rub. In the end it's not either or its both that are needed in many cases to glean another's design desires. A good designer can point out how a loved couch fights the over all goal even if it's just the right color.

Do you ever get the urge to just reach right into your monitor and FIX it? Yeah............

Wonder if anyone has ever used cacophony or noisy as the dream words in their desired mood......yikes. Apparently so : )!

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/6458208/in-an-open-layout-can-i-have-the-same-wallpaper-go-on-one-wall-from-t#n=9

Someone going through benzo withdrawal....