Thanks for the great ideas! My husband is not fully on board with another major remodel and we’ve both gone back and forth about not having a dining room anymore

Sounds like your home already meets all of your needs and you don't want to spend on a big renovation. I agree with @Yvonne Martin - tone it down from a formal dining room into a more casual one. If you post pics we can show some ways to make it feel a bit more relaxed. Then pic one day a week that you all eat in there - Friday or Sunday nights? Some night when you can linger a little longer. Make a habit of it and see if you like the space any better.

Good advice already - we live in a 1920’s home with a large “formal” dining room, we refunished it with an informal chunky RH table and comfortable velvet chairs - we eat in there most nights as empty nesters, have a puzzle usually happening on one end of the table, have drinks with friends in there etc.. - it’s one of our favorite rooms

What makes it "formal"? Just because it's a separate room? Have you decorated it in a very formal way, with silk curtains and precious furniture? A separate dining room need not be a forbidding formal room, walled off with velvet ropes. It could just be another option of where to eat meals.

As has been stated above, if you don't want to do a major expensive renovation, you can just change up the decor. Make it more casual and inviting by changing curtains, rug, furniture. Or change the use of it completely. A study room for your children? a music room? a sitting/reading room? a library? a games room? Does it get a lot of sun--a conservatory? Think about how you live and what might be useful for you and your family. As Kendrah said, show us some photos and you'll get better advice.

We renovated our kitchen and replaced our eating area with a coffee/wine bar. Our dining room is the only place where we can sit more than 2 people (the kitchen peninsula is where my husband and I eat most meals--no children at home). I redid our dining room with a very casual natural fiber rug, added a pine server, milk-painted a mahogany chest, and replaced swag and jabot damask curtains with colorful patterned linen panels hung on rustic wood hardware. It's a lot more welcoming now.

I like a separate eating area. There is NOTHING formal about ours but it's still not IN the kitchen. Everyday might not matter. Breakfast and lunch might not matter but dinner where everyone is together nightly (yes all the years my offspring were home we ate together DAILY) deserves to be out of the mess of the kitchen. We need pics. Perhaps there's a way to open up the area to the kitchen w/o it becoming the kitchen, to take it down a notch from FORMAL? Again without seeing your home we don't know what you are asking. We have friends who built a beautiful home and where the 'formal dining room' would be for the next buyer they have a pool table. They also have a kitchen with an eating area next to but not IN the kitchen. That would work for me. The idea of a formal area that is removed from the kitchen where I have to schlep food down a hall is not appealing either.

I personally find it much more relaxing to eat in a place separate from the kitchen dinner mess. So another vote for a separate, but not particularly formal, dining room that gets used most nights.

To actually help at all we need info and seeing a floor plan could get you many ideas. I do not want to hve a dinner party in a kitchen ever. When I was growing up we had dinner in the DR every Sunday and always if we had guests for dinner. How you live is personal but IMO stop thinking it is formal and use it daily . Ineed to see the floor plan of a larger kitchen seems to be what you want . I think Yvonne has the right answer . The kitchen then could maybe be redesigned to meet the needs there if you gave up the eat in part in that space .

Dining rooms that can function as both library/studies & dining rooms make a lot more sense for modern day homes. They are visually more interesting also.

There was a time where I had many folks getting rid of the separate dining room and creating huge kitchens with the dining table in it. Now It seems there is a bit of a swing back the other way. The last few places we worked on just had us opening up more to the dining room. Going to a big 7 ft opening in one with nice trim details and the other was a set of glass pocket doors for a 6ft opening. It seems like that gives a connection that people want but still have the room separate.

Ultimately, it is up to you to use it. I say the same thing to people who keep their wedding china in a box - just use it! Enjoy it! It will feel a little weird at first but then becomes second nature.

Good luck!

When we had a separate dining room, we ate there many nights a week. It was never a library or a study, but we did display in there art books that we loved and artwork on the walls that we loved. It was a comfortable room to be in and just focus on each other away from the kitchen and all of the cooking that had just happened. Sometimes I would take my laptop in there and work at the table on summer days because it was the room in the house with the least amount of intense sunshine.

We kept a stack of hard placemats in the center of the table that were easy to grab for eating or working. And easy to wipe down. I often kept a vase of flowers on the table to make the room feel more inviting.

Great ideas!

In my last house the kitchen was generous and had a large eat in area so I used the formal dining room as my very young children’s playoom. It couldn’t be seen from the entry but was very functional for them.

In my current home the formal dining room was partially open to the kitchen and we made it even more integrated with the kitchen when we remodeled. I like having a real dining table and all the features of a formal dining room (built in display cabinets, fireplace, etc.) but we get to use it every day because it is the eating area for the kitchen. We also have a formal living room just off the front door in our current home and it has been repurposed into a music room. It is far more useful to my family in that capacity because I play piano and have two of them, my husband has four guitars, plus I have one kid playing violin and another playing baritone so it is functional.

Great advice, champcamp! Using the space you already have for a different purpose than is common is very creative and practical at the same time.

Does formal mean being separate AND the futniture/decor/dinnerware is also adding to that? For instance, we got rid of our traditional furniture and opted for a rustic table, non matching chairs, a sisal rug, have traditional artwork but is intermixed with modern - a much more used space.

As you are not interested in renovations, think about what would draw you there personally and when family and guests are over. It’s a personal decision in so many ways, including proximity and size. For instance, in summer we often set up a buffet and head outside to eat as it‘s adjacent, our grandchildren color and do puzzles there, and I use for virtual meetings, etc. If you look on line, you may see rooms that resonate and if large enough, make it multifunctional.

Thank you all for the great ideas! It seems everyone is on team ”keep the dining room” and after rading all the ideas, I am leaning toward that as well- i am going to try uploading so photos for better reference. for those who asked, i am not against remodeling, however my husband is on the fence because we’ve done so much already, and because we cant seem to decide wether to keep the dining room or renovate- he doesnt want any regrets.

we have a center hall colonial, however to the right is our family room and to the left is the formal living room that leads into the dining room. From the dining room there is a doorway (average single door size doorway) that leads you to the kitchen. as i mentioned above the kitchen is a decently sized L shape with an adjoining eat in kitchen. In the eat in kitchen area we have a 60 inch table and behind the table is a coffee bar area with mini fridge. again, ill try to add pictures, but I appreciate all your suggestions!

I would forget renovating. For what?

It really doesnt sound like you are interested in having regular family dining in there. So maybe do something else with the room and just rent event furniture the few times a year that you use the space for more formal dining.

What would you want to use the existing dining room for if it were not a dining room. Do you have any idea?

After reading all the comments, im thibking mayb me we just need to be more intentional in using it more- right now its only used during special occaissionsmissions/ holidays. we thought about turning it into a butlers pantry, but since the room is attached to the formal living room we axed that idea.

That’s good. Plus you would need to get a butler. :)

I'd consider whether you could make them semi-separate spaces and get more use out of it. It's worth noting that if you have plenty of room in your eat-in kitchen, your family might change. We found that as family members grew and added spouses, partners and children, our family events grew substantially in size. A friend found that as her parents aged, she began hosting more family dinners, so needed more space than when Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays were always somewhere else.

Your husband is wise to avoid regrets. Using the room as it's needed now does not have to mean renovation. My sister used her dining room for a play room for years. Once her four offspring were old enough to all sit at a more formal table, the playroom was outfitted for a dining room. A room's use is more about the contents/furnishings and doesn't have to require renovation. Perhaps the real issue is where to store or what to do with the table etc. until you need it. When my MIL first visited our new home (25 years ago) she summed it up quickly--yes the couch could be shifted to accommodate the table being opened up or added onto to seat 20 something!! Her formal dining table went from a round table seating no more than four to an oblong that easily seated 14. When not entertaining it was a great place for them to do their puzzles, the extra chairs used throughout the home. Flexibility as a family grows is wise to factor into your decision.

does anyone have the link to buy the furniture in the photo?

The best way to shop from a photo is to save the photo or copy it into the google search bar and click the camera icon - aka google lens