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What an evening

24 days ago

It’s 63° on the screened porch at 11 pm in November in the Shenandoah Valley. It was 25° the other night.


DH played his jazz piano gig and then as we do every Saturday night afterwards we share a bottle of wine and talk.


Do you have rituals of sharing with somone or more than one on a weekly basis? Whatever you want to share.


We have 54 years of ” after gigs” sharing. As a Chemistry grad student then Professor , most of that time maintaining an active Jazz Piano presence.


c

Comments (16)

  • 24 days ago

    What a lovely tradition. It's rainy here. I'd love to share a glass of cheer with a friend, but alas, everyone is out of town.

    Still trailing thanked Fun2BHere
  • 24 days ago
    last modified: 24 days ago

    I'm fortunate to have 2 sharing groups.

    The first is a monthly get together of 5 women who were on the after-prom committee when our kids were juniors in high school. We had known each other casually for several years due to serving on school committees. When we volunteered to help with prom activities we quickly decided to meet for lunch rather than sit in a empty classroom. That was in 1995 and we've been getting together now for 30 years and sharing our lives - graduations, colleges, marriages, grand children, divorces, moves and the sad death of 2 husbands.

    My other group is much newer and we see each other several times a week. Some of us initially met 12 years ago when our local hospital opened a beautiful wellness center and we joined the water exercise classes. Our group has grown to 6 as others joined the pool. Since then 2 of us have moved into the same over 55 community where 2 other women in our group have been living. We meet at the pool 5 times a week and schedule frequent get-togethers - weekly coffees, monthly lunches, we celebrate anything and everything - birthdays, vacations, hip and or knee replacements, events at our Clubhouse and trips to Broadway shows, in early December we're heading to Longwood Gardens for the holiday decorations.

    As one of my friends has remarked - who would have thought that at this stage of our lives we would make such good friends.

    I feel truly grateful to have such wonderful friends,

    Still trailing thanked maire_cate
  • 24 days ago
    last modified: 22 days ago

    Eleven months ago we joined a gym. Then tried another branch of that gym. Then tried another gym. About six months ago we found a gym with a crowd that just clicked. Our old neighbor is there. He's 84 years old. I was 24 when we met, it's like we've always known each other. We've ALL exchanged life stories. AJ has a band. He lives in our old neighborhood, just down the street, about 6 blocks. Never met when we were neighbors. Andrew's a work-out beast! 44yrs old. Wears a Superman T-shirt, is a Marvels Comic nut, so are we. Has 7 children, 2 ex-wives and dates a girl 15 years younger. He's a chef! Daniel is much younger, 33, dread locks, has 8 children. He's trying to settle down with one woman. I'm giving him tongue-in-cheek love advice. Mya just turned 30, she's a wedding photographer. Doug is 78. Edwin is gorgeous & raised his son as a single father since he was 6 months old. His son works @ Starbucks, boxes light weight class. Won his last match, has it on video. Edwin's brother has 8 children. Joe used to work with my husband years ago in commercial construction, now he fixes the gym equipment. His daughter & 3yr old grand daughter just moved in with him & his wife, in his RV, so he rented a house. Has a 2-car garage for the 1st time. Parish, a HUGE black dude, owns a cement company....and there's MORE! It's been a fun experience getting to know a whole NEW INTERESTING crowd and call them ALL friends. The gym is our connection....the glue that holds us all together.

    Still trailing thanked nicole
  • 23 days ago

    I have been walking on Wed mornings with two friends for, I don’t know, at least 6-7 years. We know each other because our daughters went to school together from K thru HS.


    I don’t have any other weekly dates. DH and I have tried doing things like weekly hikes or ”field trips” but we always end up forgetting! We should try again.


    I have a group that has been meeting monthly since my DD was entering 5th grade. She is now 24. It started as a knitting group for some of us who wanted to learn to knit, so we took a class. We alternate meeting at members’ houses, there are always snacks and wine, and some people knit, some people do other crafts, and some just hang out. We have a holiday gift swap/party every year too. I think there are 8 of us; not everyone comes every month but typically at least 5-6. A few of us will do various craft classes or workshops throughout the year, too.


    I am in a book group too but I am less devoted to that group; I probably attend about half of the monthly meetings.

    Still trailing thanked Sueb20
  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    Late night talks on the porch are the best! It sounds so lovely, Trail.

    DH and I are getting back into date nights (every other Friday) and that has been fun. Other than that, we play Mahjong together probably about an hour a day (we are both kind of addicted to the game).

    We had dinner with friends last night and they were talking about what shows they watch. One thing they said is they do not watch a series unless they watch it together. I never realized but I think that is true of us, too. It requires some compromise but they were saying (and we agree) that they idea of going off on their own to watch a series seemed suboptimal.

    I still get together with old friends from other places we have lived, most going back to our kids' infancy. In Maine I have my weekly MJ group and the church guild, and I am starting a cooking club.

    Still trailing thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • 23 days ago

    We’ve been going to dinner with friiends most Friday nights for the past 18 years or so. Sometimes at each other houses and sometimes at a Mexican restaurant. Our kids all got along and that was great. The kids are all off at college now, but the parents still get together.


    I’m also a member of two book clubs (1 for 25 years and the other for just a few months) a garden club (25 years) a bunco group (20+ years) and a mahjong group (6 months). All meet monthly.

    Still trailing thanked porkandham
  • 23 days ago

    Because DH is legally blind and has never driven we have spent more time together than many couples. When we lived where there was a transit system of some sort he used that and for many years he rode his bike everywhere. He still rides it out alone but with great caution due to careless drivers in a small college town.


    We go to the gym together 3x a week and have for years no matter where we lived.


    I had running and cycling friends for years before we moved here to VA in 2016. Since I started running in Chapel Hill NC in 1978 its been a lot of varied situations. I prefer alone on a trail with just my own company. DH hikes along at his pace and I usually do ” out & backs “ to check on him . We do carry our phones when on trails , I put up with it in my fanny pack , for safety reasons at almost 75 & 78 we are careful.


    It is so interesting to hear other experiences. I have tried groups for other activities , gardening or exercise etc but it never lasts. I am a solitary person I think.


    My neighbor 3 doors down and I do exchange plants and I went to her Catskill’s family cabin near Delhi 2 yrs ago for 10 days. She had never invited a friend ever before . We did very well together.


    Thank you for sharing part of your life here it is very generous . c

  • 23 days ago

    I love that so many of you have regular gatherings. It shows me that this is something that has slipped away in my life ... at least in a regularly scheduled way.

    Since SO lives so far away, we do have weekly phone "dates" when we will watch a movie or a series .. or less frequently plan an online game (scrabble, chess .. soon Go). Last night we watch Task which has given us lots to talk about afterwards. It starts with the show but meanders to whatever lol. When we are together, we can spend hours listening to music while playing games or just talking. I get that is the norm for couples who are together but it is a luxury for us-- and special.

    I get together with BFF, my sisters and my local nieces fairly regularly but not on a schedule. In fact, they have been postponed a lot these last few months for various reasons. We always talk about doing things more regularly .. but life. I think I should look into joining a group or two that meet more regularly .. a book club, an art class, something.

    Still trailing thanked Funkyart
  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    Trail, I can almost see you and your DH on your porch enjoying this beautiful weather! Those shared times over the years create emotional bonds of steel, don’t they?

    We have a small group of women who have been meeting for many years at the same restaurant for dinner before our Monday choral society rehearsals. We’ve added a few people over the years and miraculously, no one has dropped out. I’ve been singing with this particular group for 18 years and we’ve been meeting for about ten. The book club meets monthly six month a year and we spend as much time socializing as we do discussing our books, and my golf group convenes regularly for drinks after play. My mother and I go to the gym together twice a week and have lunch at the club afterwards. I have regular art classes and altar guild with a team and a few committees with ither organizations but those are less social and more task oriented.


    DH and I have completely different tastes in movies and shows, so we read together — sometimes aloud, and discuss. We try to dance in the evenings to our romantic playlist, even if he can only tolerate standing for one song. We used to play scrabble but finally agreed it was not worth the divorce that would have been inevitable if we continued!

    Still trailing thanked Kswl
  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    We used to play scrabble but finally agreed it was not worth the divorce that would have been inevitable if we continued!

    Can relate! The worst argument of our married life was over Scrabble game! Last year he gave me a special edition set which I think was supposed to be a peace offering but even so I play it with my girls moreso than with DH.

    My BFF introduced me to Bananagrams and I prefer it. Very poorly named, it should be called something more like "Speed Scrabble."

    Still trailing thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • 23 days ago

    Which special edition Scrabble set did DH get you, Mtn? I want the shagreen -- it may be a christmas gift to myself this year. I did finally order Bananagrams (no shagreen version of that, darn it!)

    Still trailing thanked Funkyart
  • 23 days ago

    What a nice thread to read!

    I am fortunate to get along with all of my siblings. Four of us (the sisters) share our Wordle scores every morning. We live in various parts of the country, and we are very different in our personalities. But we are close.

    Two friends and I meet at least 2x/mo for dinner. We started years ago meeting for coffee and other activities. Lately, our schedules have been more complex, but we still meet for dinner to catch up. We also regularly attend home and garden tours throughout the Chicago suburbs.

    In what's starting to feel like a ritual, for the past several months, there has been a young man at my gym who uses the same area that I do. We have not officially met, but we have learned one another's routine, and politely work around one another, pause when the other is finishing a set before starting our next, etc. I can't quite describe it, but it's a nice mutual respect of one another's space. He is very athletic and appears to be a boxer. I'm twice his age and just trying to remain mobile. We could not be on more opposite ends of the spectrum, but there we are.

    Still trailing thanked Feathers11
  • 23 days ago

    Have a group of girl friends, some I have known since I was in high school and a couple cane along in my early 20's after college. We usually get together at least once a week. There are just four of us local these days, three others moved and one passed away. Unfortunately, one of our local four will be moving to Texas in 6 months when she retires, her grandchildren are there. We are still in frequent contact with the three that have moved away, DH and I went on a British Isles cruise last year with one of these friends and her DH. An interesting thing about this group is that none of us grew up with sisters, I think we fill this role for each other.

    Still trailing thanked jill302
  • 23 days ago

    DH and I often sit on our back porch, especially this time of year and in the spring, and enjoy watching deer and whatever crosses through our yard late in the day.


    I have a group of long-time friends from our ski days. We met while going on ski trips and doing other activities with our local ski club in the late 80’s. None of us ski now and all of us are retired but we wanted to stay connected. We decided to go to lunch sometime during the month of our birthdays. The ’birthday girl’ gets to pick the restaurant. No gifts, just fun cards and everyone pays their own way. We sometimes do dessert for the honoree. One very special member has died so we decided to invite a few others we thought would enjoy our time together. So we started with 6 and are now up to 9 if everyone can come.


    I also see old friends from my home town fairly often for lunch, about 2-3 times a year. We never did this when our kids were growing up. Who had time? Many of the ones I was very close to have passed away or moved too far away to attend.


    I have friends I’ve met through volunteering, gardening, the gym, and several groups associated with support to non-profits (some of the same people as in the other activities). Many of us have made plans for lunch or coffee on the fly or had group pot-luck get togethers when we can.

    Still trailing thanked OutsidePlaying
  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    Hubby and I are pretty solitary too. Perhaps because both of us have noisy, demanding jobs.

    We watch some things together, yet more often watch different TV stuff in separate rooms, and also often just sit together and chat. I like our new apartment life because tho we're in separate rooms, we're only a few steps away, and can still converse pretty easily. One TV show we enjoy watching together is Antiques Roadshow.

    I am close with my sisters, and we also live at opposite ends of the country. We make it a point to talk on the phone at least weekly - regularly talk with extended family as well.

    Still trailing thanked carolb_w_fl_coastal_9/10