I've dug up some old, abandoned asparagus years later and got a crop. In my experience, fresh asparagus, even very thick asparagus is tender, unless you caught it too late. If it goes from garden to plate within an hour or two, it's almost always delicious and tender. Even skinny stalks that are too close to leafing out will not be tender.

Female plants will produce plenty of stalks, although males are supposed to produce more. The females will produce berries, which will create baby plants that are better weeded out. Males don't. Since asparagus is generally sold in large quantities, if you want just a few plants, tag the ones you have that are better producers. If you want a big patch, then start with new ones.

And go out now and start harvesting! Harvest every spear of the right size every few days between now and early June. You can use the summer solstice as the date to stop, if you like.