Can you post some more photos of your space so we can get a better sense of the room?

I would leave the countertops and add a backsplash with shiny cream color subway tiles. As far as the cabinets, paint! Just make sure your painter uses oil-base paint and the spray method...leaves no brush marks. The oil paint is very durable and cleans easily with no fear of the "chipping" problem. Don't know what kind of lighting you have, but updates may help, like a chandelier instead of a typical light fixture, and under-counter lights BEFORE you install a backsplash so the wires can be run behind it.

Maybe a cream color tile with some ORB accent tiles to tie it in with your hardware. They look like really nice wood cabinets so I wouldn't paint them.

The flooring, while beautifully done, is a mid-tone that has been matched to the cabinets (or extremely complimentary). This makes the cabs/flooring a tone-on-tone monontonous blur. A beatiful blur...but a blur none-the-less. Now add black counter top and you have completed the "dark kitchen". If you change the cabinets...you are going to be looking at the flooring for your inspiration for colours. An off-white or antique white on the cabs would really work well with the floors. This is a big job...with a big price tag.

A quick pick-me up for the kitchen could be an off-white counter top and backsplash combo. In the design world, white and black can be interchangeable. You can achieve an instant lift with a lighter counter top. Of course the counter top is going to have a big price tag...but probably only half of what painting/restaining your cabinets will cost.

Shoot. Sorry, it didn't upload the other ones the first time! Here's more pics

Thanks for the additional photos! You have a lovely kitchen, but I can see what your concern is.
Changing your countertops to a lighter color will certainly help, but I think lighter cabinets will really give you the feeling you are trying to achieve.
I would hire a professional painter for your project.; you have a large kitchen with a lot of detail. A combination of lighter countertops and cabinets will really brighten things up and make the room feel less heavy.
Good luck with your project, and keep us posted!

I just saw the gorgeous photos of your living room...Now I'm convinced you should paint the cabinets and replace the countertops.

Now that I've seen the other photos, I don't think a counter top swap is going to cut it. Leave the counter tops and bring in a lovely off-white that will (from a distance) take some smudges without being highly visible. If you want to add a bit of visible interest, you can leave the island black but resurface with an off-white counter top (a match to cabinet colour would be a great statement). The only other option to lighten this space would be to add a tremendous amount of lighting AND lighten the floors. Painting the cabinets will have a better effect will slightly better costs.

Off-white is your best option because of the floor colour. A crisp white will look good but it might not look right up against the floor.