Just my own personal opinion: I think if the little plants of the newly planted trees can support the weight of one or two fruits, then a compromise with your wife and kids is a good idea for the next year or two. My philosophical bias is this: they are your trees now....not the nurseries, not the government, and not any of us giving advice....whatever you want to do with your own trees is fine (as long as you understand the consequences)....and getting along with the wife is part of the equation.
just know the more fruit you allow on newly planted trees, the slower the vegetative process.
As to the trees that are already 10 feet high (impressive for 3 year olds).....the apples and peaches may need to be thinned.....if the apples have a heavy crop, then depending on what you think the tree can bear you could thin them to one apple per 6 to 10 inches or so, and definitely only have one per cluster if you have a good crop....the center apple in the cluster might be your best one to keep.....feel free to jettison the flawed looking ones.....the sooner you can thin the better but remember some apples drop off naturally in a month or so.....so don't be in an all-fired rush to do it.
The peaches can be thinned a little later after you have a chance to see what is there.
The more you thin, the bigger is what is left....you decide on your own values and desires and balance after listening to opinions such as reflected here to get what you want.

Thanks donnie. The 10-footers aren't as big as they sound. Its just the central leader that's that high. But they're still the largest trees. Maybe I'm wrong and they're another year older.

Last year, I cut off most of the peaches. We did get to eat two or three. They tasted great, but were small. I think I didn't water enough.

Also, many of them were mangled dual or triple peaches. I figure I'll take those off this time. I also had a serious scab problem last year so I took off all the apples. I cleaned up the leaves last year and sprayed though so hopefully, they'll work well this time.

brian

I thin my apple a lot- probably 80% come off by the time they're dime-sized- and I think I'll take off another half of those this year.

It's hard to do but it's really worthwhile. Apples are discouraged from bienniel bearing by early thinning. In addition to encouraging larger fruit you are eliminating hiding places for critturs, and at harvest you pick fewer apples per bushel, so that's easier. If you bag apples you'll really appreciate having fewer.