I am so sorry for your loss, watching a loved one in pain is so very hard to deal with. We are going through something similar in our family right now. If I was to choose I would pick Dr. Ruppel a bright and cheerful flower as a remembrance of all the happy times you've shared together.
Annette

Dr. Ruppel
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'Jackmanii' continues to be outstanding. But if you'd rather have a striped one then 'Nelly Moser' is also exceptional. They would also make a good pair to give.

With hybrid clematis slug damage to new shoots and associated clematis wilt are frequent banes, especially since these are supposed to be both gifts and lasting memorials I would choose proven reliable kinds of unusual durability such as these.

I looked up Dr Ruppel, and people say it likes sun, while Nelly Moser apparently wants more shade.

Since my dad passed away while I happened to be buying these clematis, all four of them will be somewhat of a memorial, in my own mind. I didn't intend for them to have any sentimental meaning at all when I bought them, but I am always going to remember that I happened to be buying these plants at the same time my dad died.

They will either be planted here or at my parents' place. I definitely want the best of the 4 planted at my parents' house, so that my mom will be proud.

While cultivars do vary a little in how much light the leaves need and the flowers like the general mode for clematis is roots in the shade and tops in the sun. This follows the natural situation of the wild plant germinating among taller shrubs or trees and growing up into the light. It is also a good idea to have something around them in the garden to protect their easily broken stems, apart from the need for the roots to be cool.

aftermidnight, it's really hard to lose a parent, isn't it. However when you know someone is dying, at least you have a little time to prepare yourself for the bad news.

bboy, that was helpful info about keeping the roots cool.

As it turns out, my mom already has a pink bicolor clematis, so I'm going to give her Violet Charm, since she doesn't have any in light purple.

I already planted a tree for him while he was alive, for him to see out the window. So, I'm good and done for memorial plants.