I'm sorry to hear of your experience with this builder/developer. Unfortunately, this happens sometimes.

The first thing you will want to do is verify if there are any restrictions on builders you can use. Sometimes, developers will have a handful of "approved" builders that you have to use in their developments. From there, you can interview from the approved list.

You will also want to make sure what types of restrictions there are on the types/sizes of homes that can be built in the development.

Also check for any other restrictions that apply to homes/property in the development. Some of the things that are included in those covenants are unbelievable (type/color of fencing, front door color, where and what you can park in the driveway or on the street, etc. Basically, just make 100% sure you want to live in this particular development and that you can deal with the covenants and restrictions that will apply. It would be shame to do all the legwork to find an approved builder you feel you can trust to build your house and then realize that the development restrictions were not something you could live with.

I know you liked the house this guy built...just know that the plan may not be a stock plan, but one he commissioned to be designed which means he owns the rights to it & does not have to share it with you. If it's his design, to get that house, you will need to either find a similar house plan and make any changes you desire or start from scratch with an architect/designer/draftsman.

If you can use any builder you want, start asking friends, family and neighbors. Don't overlook service companies/trades that you are familiar with as well. For example, the owner of the heating & air company/plumber/electrician, etc. that you have used in the past may be able to point you to some good builders that will work with you. (Remember to do your own homework on the referrals you interview for the job...don't just accept your family members'/ friends'/ neighbors word for the builder. Watch a couple episodes of 'Holmes on Homes' on HGTV & you'll see why I say that.)

I understand you wanting the most bang for your buck (esp. in these economic times). Hopefully the builder will also understand that he has to remain competitive. I'm not sure how things are going in your area right now, but in many areas of the US, the foreclosures have pushed the comps for appraisals way down and builders aren't able to build a new construction home for the comparables' price per sq. ft. This will mean you will need to come up with the difference, or the builder will have to lower his price. Materials & labor costs tend to be down right now so lowering the price (from where they were just 1-2 years ago) shouldn't be a problem unless the builder is trying to get the maximum bang for his buck as well.

With the way things are in the building industry right now, many of the fly by night / not reliable / shoddy quality builders and subs have been put out of business. Many of those that are stable, reliable and have good quality and customer service are still in business (albeit considerably slower business than in the past) for the most part. With that being said, I'm certain there are at least a few stragglers on both sides, so definitely do your homework on any potential builder/sub.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Do you know anyone in that subdivision? If you don't know anyone there or any builders at all you are going to have to start making phone calls to builders and "interviewing" them. There must be some that work in just that "area". Another way to find a builder is the closest lumber yard. They will tell you who they know and is a good customer, etc. But you are really just going to have to start finding and meeting them to tell them your needs and wants. They should give you their credentials, offer to show you what they have built, etc. It is a long process; when Dh and I decided to build we met the builder and it was 2 years before we actually built the house. We were in communication with him for those 2 years though!
Good Luck!

Take a deep breath and listen to that builder! If he's built a lot of homes, and you like those homes and the price of those homes, then he is telling you the truth. Not all builders have great social skills. Some can be rather abrupt in person because their brain focuses on the constrction details rather than the interpersonal ones.

The bottom line is, if the builder has built that subdivision with a series of stock plans that he's built with before and with all the trades he's built with before and all the materials he's built with before---then he knows how much it costs within a streamlined process of a "mass market build". A custom build is a LOT more $$ than a mass market build. IT's both the materials and the time that add up. He's used to using ABC plumbing fixtures, and you want EFG ones, and in a specialty finish. Those are double the price he deals with, and his plumber hasn't installed those before so there is a learning curve. You just doubled your plumbing bid. If the homes in his subdivision are selling for $400K, and you want to build a custom home there, you've added at least $100K to the build without even trying to add on super specialty materials. That's just for the "one off" aspect of the build. And that's why you don't usually see custom homes in mass market subdivisions. YOu usually see them in a less developer controlled subdivision. That means more $$ too.

The builder is probably correct in that your budget won't stretch to your want list, but he just didn't manage to couch that in a end user "I'm sorry" method of telling you that. At least he was honest, if bluntly so, which you interpreted as "a jerk". Many builders out there will lowball an initial bid and then nickel and dime you to death with your add ons until it's more than this guy would have quoted you in the beginning. Those are the jerks.

Sit down and analyze exactly what $$ you have to build with and make sure you have a good contingency fund too. Your funding may or may not match with your dreams, but it's best to understand that before you break ground rather than in the middle of mud and half constructed walls.

If you already have a subdivision picked out, you need to go tour every available open house in that neighborhood to see the quality of the homes. You can get an idea of builder quality from that.

I don't know how 'open' people are where you live. Here, we walked around the neighborhood and talked to people. It's a great way of learning things. I have to agree with the above poster that the builder may just be telling what you need to know instead of what you want to hear. If you can find a way to get others opinions, you'll be better off. You might even ask that builder for references. I would be more leery of references he would provide, but you may find out more information about the way he does business.

Personally, I'd steer clear of somebody you don't have a good vibe about. Are you limited to 1 builder? Do you have to be in that subdivision? The last house we built, we were in a subdivision that had 4 approved builders. I met with every single one. The 1st one I met with sounds exactly like the guy you met with--rude, dismissive, condescending. It had me wondering. The next 3 were the opposite. We ended up going with one that gave us exactly what we wanted within the budget we set. It turned out well. For this build, we went to several Parade of Homes in the area and checked out the homes of many reputable builders, to not only get a sense of the quality of those builders, but also to meet them. We also went to several home shows and met builders there. We also asked around and kept hearing a handful of names over and over again. We talked in more detail to 3 builders and outlined our project to get a sense of how they work, what they thought was a realistic budget and timeline, and to see if we just liked them. Then we settled on a builder. It was a pretty long process, but we're pretty happy (so far). Good luck. It's not easy, and there are a lot of jerks out there.